Confession: In Praise of the MILF

feet_sandals1photo by Foot Dude

Our contributor Antonio Reis, a first year at Wesleyan, has a confession to make:

I love older women. All through high school, my friends would raise their eyebrows when they learned I was spending an evening with my friends Phoebe*, Michaela, and Eileen. Phoebe is 44, Michaela is 43, and Eileen is 36.

On the occasional weekend when I would decline my high school peers’ offers to make merry with cheap, plastic-bottle vodka, my friend Caitlin (age 18) would exclaim, “You’re so fucking weird. You can hang out with people like that after your hip replacement surgery.”

To acquaintances of my own age bracket, these seeming geriatrics appear dull — but to me they look fantastic. In my mind, my matron-friends have aged to perfection, like a fine wine.

I think women reach the height of their sexiness around 40 years old.  And no, I don’t mean those housewives who Botox monthly or hire a surgeon to vacuum out their corpulent appendages with liposuction. Sure, cosmetic intervention is their prerogative and more power to them. But I find plastic surgery to be a cop-out when used purely to “combat” age.

No, I’m talking about those middle-aged women who know what’s up. Those women who embrace their curves. Those femmes fatales who can take care of themselves as well as their offspring, and can do it all while sashaying down the aisles of the local grocery store like it was Bryant Park or the Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré. Like my aforementioned love and HBIC/MILF Madonna, these women have got their acts together and can complete daily tasks with tact and seeming ease, lending them an air of sophisticated sensuality and power.

Take, for example, Phoebe. She has two children under ten. She runs a company that markets environmentally friendly, sustainable living products. She designs jewelry that makes Paloma Picasso’s look like Pretty Pretty Princess plastic wear. Phoebe does this all while staying down to earth and fun. Plus, she can skeet-shoot like a pro. I don’t know how she does it! And I don’t know how anyone could not find her attractive, no matter what her age.

I’ve never told these MILFS that I find them appealing. Two of them are married with children, the third happily involved with her boyfriend. I’ve never discussed sex with them either; I leave those ponderings to my imagination. That doesn’t mean I can’t award them the adjective “sexy,” though. I know when I see something that’s fine. I don’t need to investigate.

If I were a bachelor looking for a fine catch, I would forget about nightclubs and head to the local YMCA yoga class in hopes of finding a single 40 year old clad in spandex. Versatile and well rounded, this demographic is not on a singular romantic path. Some are interested in flings. (Don’t tell me you’ve never dreamt of Mrs. Robinson moving in next door.) Others are into long-term relationships. (Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher look very happy.) But there is one constant: Maturity is just plain sexy.

One parting word of advice, however: I wouldn’t just waltz into a relationship with an older woman with the impression that my youth furnishes me with carte blanche in the dynamic. Some demoiselles can be wry and mysterious, commanding astute attentiveness from their significant other. So make sure you can you keep up.

Antonio Reis

* names have been changed.


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11 Comments on "Confession: In Praise of the MILF"


lola
6 years 3 months ago

Im 47 and I’m often mistaken to be 33. I’m a grandmother and I look a whole lot better than most 24 years old. I run 7 miles every other day and have the energy of most 20years old. I have a good career and don’t need a financial support/security. So if you’re in my life, younger or older, it’s because I chose to be with you! Hats off to the author…be confident and ask an older woman out. That’s what we are looking for. You’ll have a great time…

Missy
6 years 4 months ago

I am 41. My son is 24. I have always felt a little wierd when I get hit on by a younger man, especially if they are a lot younger than I am. I recently had a short fling with a 30 year old and it was fantastic. It wasn’t a relationship, although he did stay at my house for a couple of weeks. It was all about the sex, and boy was it ever good! I would definitely recommend it to every woman who is between relationships or too busy to have a relationship. I will be doing it again!!

loretta
6 years 4 months ago

Well let me tell you all. I am going to be nifty fifty in 7 days and have never felt betta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

karenoke
6 years 4 months ago

i am 47 and newly single. i confess that i like younger men, but am always suspicious when one finds me attractive. i don’t trust their motives – i suspect they think older, divorced women are easy lays. i have never been with someone significantly younger than me. i guess i discriminate against myself and that is really frustrating.

Ray
6 years 5 months ago

i dont get how you can know what everyone feels in terms of attraction. you dont, and thats what makes it so fascinating.