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Wiseguys: Oral Vs. Intercourse

Tue, Feb 17, 2009

Advice, Wise Guys

apples_orangesphoto by TheBusyBrain

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “If guys had to choose between only intercourse or only blowjobs for the rest of their life, which do you think most guys would choose?”

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys would choose blowjobs, but they really should be choosing intercourse. BJs are the best thing to happen to sex since sliced bread, but with added perks (let’s just say it’s like taking your car in for an oil change and getting a free car wash). Most men don’t get as many blowjobs in their daily routine as they’d like, so the prospect of guaranteed hummers for life is a dream come true. But it’s a devil’s bargain. Blowjobs are awesome, but they’re unsubstantial — mere icing on the cake. And a man can’t feel truly satisfied on a diet of sugar frosting alone. At some point he’s going to want to connect meaningfully with his partner. And by the time he gets to be 30 or 40 he may even want to have a baby. (Yes, men have biological clocks too. Ours are not as prominent as women’s, they’re more like pocket watches, but we have them.)

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I think most guys would struggle with this one, but then decide that intercourse would be the better choice. There are more variations of intercourse, for one thing.¬† There’s more skin contact which is always nice. Giving her pleasure at the same time is a big turn on.¬† The fact that intercourse is active rather than passive makes it a more likely choice for guys.¬† We like to do stuff… like aggressive pelvic thrusting.

Gay Commited Guy (Terence): Intercourse is the winner — by a technicality. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m guaranteed a climax with intercourse, whereas blowjobs end happily about half the time. And if I’m drunk, the odds are even lower. It’s a Sophie’s choice I hope I never have to make.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week they’re all a little shy.

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19 Responses to “Wiseguys: Oral Vs. Intercourse”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    “aggressive pelvic thrusting” makes sex sound REALLY unpleasant.

  2. k Says:

    Elizabeth, I think that’s a matter of opinion/preference. I like to be pounded into the bed so “aggressive pelvic thrusting” sounds pretty good to me.

  3. Elizabeth Says:

    Oh I LOVE to pounded into the bed (well, most days, anyway). I just thought the wording was uh… awkward? :)

  4. Kristine Says:

    Ditto to K. “Aggressive pelvic thrusting” actually sounds quite appealing right now.


    Your male contributors are missing the best ever thing about human contact. Which is…cunnilingus. I have been, since August ’08 enjoying the best sex ever by giving my girl friend oral pleasure, which in turn takes me ‘over the top’ every time.
    I can’t get enough of the excitement, the mere thought of bringing her to a huge oragsm in this way is overwhelming. I’m with her again next Monday night, I’m a married man aged 65, my GF is 37, my wife knows, this connection as far as I & my GF are concerned is 100% pure pleasure, sensuality…words fail me, to talk of it just as sex is making it unattractive, which is it not.
    Come you guys out there, do yourselves a favor, uas your tongue!!

  6. Yatz Says:

    Yeah to cunnilingus! I have found that if I spend plenty of time down and low, she is sure to show her appreciation. What she doesn’t know is that I love going down on her and making her squirm. It gets me going knowing that I’ve got her worked up and happy. It’s a sure path to a round of great sex.

  7. figleaf Says:

    Echoing David Perrin and Yatz, I’d say for me it would be whichever activity one’s *partner* would prefer doing for the rest of *her* life. Because, really, you want to have blowjobs for the rest of your life then what’s your partner going to get out of it?

    Turn it around for a minute and see what I mean: your partner gets to choose whether she’d rather have only intercourse or only cunnilingus, right? What if Perrin’s or Yatz’s partner picks intercourse? What if Chris’s or Terrence’s partner picks oral? Either way their *partners* might be happy but Perrin, Yatz, and Chris? Not as much even though they’d obviously live.

    And then (with the tables still turned) over time, how enthusiastic about persevering would Chris, Perrin, Terrence, or Yatz be? And how much fun, exactly, is an unenthusiastic partner? So. Turn the tables back to the original question and see if you’d come up with the same answer? :-)


  8. Ryan Says:

    I¬īd rather just fool around and have uncovered oral sex than vaginal condom sex, definitely. Condom sex sucks.

  9. searchingwithin Says:

    “mere icing on the cake”

    And I was going to say, whipped cream with a cherry on top.

  10. Herb the one Says:

    i love getting my d..k sucked,but i have a black woman so thats not happening. Whats up with that?

  11. corey Says:

    blow jobs is good but i am a sex freak it depends on the type of woman if she is hot diffently but if isn’t blow me baby till am burst open

  12. Rei Says:

    DAVID PERRINS; you have a wife, and a girlfriend? That sickens me. Sorry, but I believe in one person that satisfies me, not two. But hey, if your wife is ok with it, let it be, maybe she has a hot 30 year old boytoy for her pleasure :p

  13. LittleBIT Says:

    My man would never give up sex for blow jobs. Not that I can’t suck the chrome off a bumper… But he always tells me how much he loves to listen to me enjoy it. And trust me, I ENJOY it. And as far as those aggressive pelvic thrust go…mmmmm… The harder the better.

  14. Lilsxymn Says:

    If I can’t LICK-IT—I don’t want to STICK-IT

  15. cum@ndgetIt Says:

    i think that is sooooooo hot when a male goes down low. it so turns me on…. just to let u know he wants to taste ur juices is so freaky. but you’ll but enjoy it if you are a sex addict like me… cant get enough of it.

  16. bookertl Says:

    I love everything about having my cock sucked….including how erotic it looks watching your partner go down!!!

  17. roastchicken Says:

    Herb the one: WTF? Is that some kind of stereotype? I’m a black woman, and I luv giving my boyfriend bj’s, and I know plenty of other black women who also love giving as well. There are plenty of women out there, of ALL races, that either hate or don’t enjoy giving them at all.

    Please don’t generalize all black women.

    If it bothers you so much that your girl won’t do it, then maybe it’s a dealbreaker and it’s time for you to move on.

  18. witchy New Jersey Says:

    I say…good girls spit…bad girls swallow and really baddd girls spit it in your mouth ha ha

    Momma always said it’s not ladylike to spit lol

  19. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Fred said: “We like to do stuff‚Ķ like aggressive pelvic thrusting.”

    Um, you can do that with a BJ. Lady lies on her back and you have at it. Yummy! You just have to get a little imaginative.

    Plus, it was just a kind of rhetorical question. In real life, no one is going to restrict you to one or the other. (Unless you are in some kind of weird, rule structured Top/Bottom situation, but then even that’ always up for change.)

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