Your Call: Should He Return the Favor?

no_oral_sex_signphoto by rick

We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, every now and then, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Make your call by filling out the poll after the jump:

Dear Em & Lo

My guy loves it when I go down on him but he rarely goes down on me he says that he isn’t into it. Is it normal for a guy to be like that and be straight? I mean I will continue to go down on him but I think he should return the favor. Am I wrong for wanting that?

— Stuck on a One-Way Street


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23 Comments on "Your Call: Should He Return the Favor?"


6 years 2 months ago

Вот это да… Какой кошмар!

Slartibartfast
6 years 2 months ago

While I generally share the outlook that “What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander” and appreciate a spirit of reciprocity, I don’t know that the ‘nuclear option’ is the best first choice here. Allowing that the relationship is otherwise pretty seaworthy, I’d be interested in knowing *why* the fella objects. Are there specific aesthetic issues or does the very idea inspire a convulsive, involuntary “Ewwwww”? In the former case, there could be approaches that would deal with his concerns, solve the immediate problem and leave him a better person. If it’s just a flat-out refusal, well, that probably mandates a different response and might be a deal-breaker. I think it’s kind of funny that not too long ago oral sex was grounds for divorce in some jurisdictions as a ‘perversion.’ Now, we see a growing sentiment that a *refusal* to provide oral sex should be grounds for divorce. Truly, there is no stopping the March of Progress.

chelle
6 years 2 months ago

i couldn’t handle that, total dealbreaker for me. the way it see it… you guys obviously are not sexually compatible. i think if you’re someone that really enjoys getting head, and he’s not giving it, eventually you will resent him for it or cheat on him..

carrieanne
6 years 4 months ago

I had a smilar situation, my advice to you is that if he’s not that into it…get him into it. Try ways to “spice it up”. Be adventurous and it will pay off. My husband and I may frequent strip clubs, go and buy sex toys together, watch some X rated movies. What happened for me was that my husband was more into it, was excited. It wasnt so much a “chore” or “returning the favor”. I Love going down on him, so a strike would be as much a sacrifice for me as him (almost as much :) .. Try something new, …spice it up, that is my advice. You gotta try something, I cannot fathom a relationship where you dont get it now and again, if you dont… you very well may end up resenting him, dont let it get that far. If you love him, seems you do, take action before then. Good Luck!

c
6 years 4 months ago

my guy had this problem for a while and after talking about it over and over and how important it was to me and how it’s a deal breaker if he doesn’t do it, after a blowjob strike he’s been doing it. it’s like him living without oral is what he needed to realize what it was like for me.