Last week we interviewed prolific sex writer Rachel Kramel Bussel about her book of fellatio erotica, Tasting Him. Today we chat about Tasting Her, a book of erotica about — you guessed it! — cunnilingus.
E&L: You say in the intro that you haven’t always been a big fan of cunnilingus. Are people shocked to hear that a sex writer isn’t that into it?
I hope not. I mean, I’m not into everything, and I don’t think anyone should “have” to like something just because other people do. And again, I don’t hate cunnilingus, it’s just not top on my list, but there are certain people who can get me into it.
Did editing this book make you appreciate it more?
It definitely did. I love that the stories really bring out the joy of performing cunnilingus, and they also get at some women’s uncertainty around the act. Don’t get me wrong — plenty women love and need to get head; that is their primary or a major way they get off, and they enjoy it every chance they can get. I don’t want to give the idea that most women have issues with receiving oral attention, but some do, and I like the way there’s an element of, “Wow, that can be amazing!” to these stories, such as Jen Cross’s “Queen of Sheeba.”
We have to ask… What’s your opinion on the old alphabet trick (i.e. using your tongue to spell out the alphabet on your partner’s clitoris?
I don’t think anyone’s ever done this to me, and I’ve never done it, so I can’t say from experience. It seems a little silly, but if it works for people, that’s great.
What’s one thing that people most often get wrong about cunnilingus?
Being too aggressive. It’s not about going as fast as you can, and there’s much to be said for teasing and leading up to the main attraction.
Also, for both fellatio and cunnilingus, some people think of them only as foreplay, but they’re so not. They’re sex acts, and can be complete in and of themselves, and should be treated as such, especially if you’re a guy doing it on a girl who gives you blowjobs. Take your time (unless she tells you to hurry) and turn it into something you both enjoy.
What’s your favorite cunnilingus tip?
Getting the fingers involved as well. You can insert a finger or two while using your tongue/mouth on her clit, or use fingers and mouth in concert; or you can stroke her arm or leg or play with her nipples while you’re going down.
What would you say to a guy who says he doesn’t enjoy going down on a woman?
First I’d want to know why he doesn’t like it; was it one or two bad experiences, or has he never liked it? I think you have to at least give it a shot (if you’re with someone who is into it) to see what it’s like with them.
What’s your favorite moment in this book and why?
Jen Cross’s story “Queen of Sheba” — I love the tone, and the way she talks about a guy who just loved giving head. “He got me off so many times when he was down there, like that was the whole point. Can you imagine?” she writes. Um, yes, I can, and hopefully your readers have experienced a lover like that, who just can’t get enough. I also really liked “Cavanaugh’s Ridge” by Jeremy Edwards because it’s about a man who’s so passionate about the woman he’s with that he names the parts of her pussy and knows everything about them.