Our contributor Jessie Whitfield, a psych major at Arizona State University and blogger at Bsnatch.com, has a confession to make.
My boyfriend’s butt is beautiful. It’s pretty. It’s plump. It fits in the palm of my hand. I can’t keep my hands off it, and simply touching it turns me on. I’ve spanked it, kissed it, rubbed it, grabbed it, bit it — and now I want to stick something in it. A strap-on dildo to be exact. I want to bend that boy over, face down, bum up, and do him in the most dirty of ways. I want to make his prostate gland giddy with anal afternoon delight.
So last November I said to him, “I want to do you in the butt with a strap-on. I think it’s only fair.” He’s not only put his peen in my vajayjay, he’s poked me in the tush too.
“Um, no.” He laughed nervously and changed the subject. Needless to say, this no-bullshit approach did not work.
Unwavering in my attempt to stick my strap-on where the sun don’t shine, I approached him again in December with a more sensitive strategy: “Just because I want to pack your fudge and you let me doesn’t mean you are a fudge packer, baby.” I thought assuring him I wouldn’t think he was gay, but rather a try-anything-sexual would work for sure. Sadly, this simply wasn’t the case.
“I know,” he replied, “I just don’t want a dick in my butt. It’s not going to feel good.”
With this important information, I devised a more detailed put-it-in-the-pooper plan. In January, sounding oh so scientific (and as cute as can be), I spouted off:
“The prostate gland is similar in size and shape to a walnut. It is located at the base of the bladder and surrounds the ejaculatory ducts and urethra. It is essentially the equivalent of the female G-spot, hence it’s called the P-spot. When stimulated during anal sex, it can produce orgasms. The P-spot is your best friend and you’re ignoring him. That’s not very nice, now is it? From what I hear he is very fun to hang out with. Perhaps you should make a play date.”
Silence….more silence….then finally, what my pretty little ears have always wanted to hear. “Maybe…”
After a month of many talks about how to travel the brown brick road, we agreed that purchasing a vibrating anal plug would be the best way to get things started. February arrived and with it a text message from my boyfriend that read, “I’m really excited for you to do me in the butt. Wanna buy a butt plug today?” Hell yes I do. Butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow!
Last week we went to Fascinations, a local sex shop, and purchased our very first 4-inch blue butt plug. We rushed home, stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed. He looked a bit uneasy.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked him. “I only want to do this if you’re comfortable with it.”
“It’s probably going to feel like a turd,” he laughed. Not the response I was hoping for, but he bent over, face down, bum up, just as I’d imagined, and after applying a little lube I eased that blue puppy in.
I started slow and soft, in and out, in and out, then applied a bit more pressure. After a few minutes I turned on the vibrator located inside the butt plug. It was loud. Very loud. The longer I sat there on my knees behind him, the more I felt like I should be wearing latex gloves and a lab coat; perhaps throw in a clipboard and stethoscope as well. Probing is the word that came to mind. It felt far too formal for my liking, and I could tell by his silence and his face in the mirror behind our bed that he was not enjoying the ride.
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s try a different approach.” We sat for a few minutes and discussed what would feel good. We agreed that foreplay first without the butt plug was a good idea.
Some plug-free fondling led to some plug-free fellatio. And when he was good and ready, I popped the plug back in. He liked this combination of front and back attention much better, as did I. But after a while my mouth and hands needed a break, so we resumed the prostate exploration in the spooning position. I inserted the butt plug half-way in and angled it up towards his belly button to start. “That feels really good. It’s vibrating my balls.” Then I pushed the plug all the way in and started feeling around left to right. “That doesn’t feel so good,” he said. So I started making soft, slow circles inside. He liked that a lot.
After about an hour our anal endeavor was over and the search for his prostate gland was called off. He didn’t orgasm and he was strangely quiet as we lay there. It occurred to me that maybe I was asking too much. Maybe expecting amazing orgasms from just the push of a button was unrealistic. Maybe we should have thought of the plug as a side dish rather than the main course. Maybe P-spot stimulation just doesn’t work for some guys, just like some ladies hate having their G-spot touched…
Then he turned to me, smiling, and said, “Practice makes perfect, baby. I’m ready for round two. What about you?”
Like I said, butt plug today, strap-on tomorrow.
December 15th, 2009 at 6:38 am
Madamoiselle L,
I love your mentality. Take care,
bim
December 15th, 2009 at 6:44 am
I love the woman who enjoys strap on sex a lot, and she can come hard while using it. Fortunately, more and more women today are using strap on sex with their boyfriends or husbands, and enjoy being the penetrators.
bim
December 30th, 2009 at 5:27 am
Interestingly, it was my then-fiance, now-husband that brought up the idea of anal-play to me. Of course, he wanted to penetrate me– which we experimented with and I’m still on the fence about, though open to further exploration– but surprisingly to me, he quite liked it the other way round as well. We haven’t actually pegged, since he’s sort of on the fence about it, but I’m more than willing to try it if he decides he’s comfortable with it. I think it would be an incredible turn-on; what can I say, the boy has an amazing ass.
I’ve given him p-spot orgasms with my fingers quite often, so I think it’s more the size factor of using a strap-on that he’s iffy about. But I did get him an Aneros as a half-joking birthday gift; he later told me he’d used it and it was pretty great. Me being hesitant about receiving anal sex, it’s actually been encouraging to me the more he’s been open to.
Also, for the fellows who are wondering how to broach this secret desire with their ladyfolk; why not just try talking about your fantasies with your gal and listening to some of hers as well? After our initial conversation on the subject, which was very fun and enlightening, not to mention trust-building, my husband and I periodically have checked in with each other on the subject. It’s been a great benefit to our relationship, and a good way to broach new subjects.
Encouraging her to open up about what makes her excited– which most women will probably appreciate you taking the time to do– will make it easier for you to do the same. And it won’t be as scary as just broaching the subject of pegging by itself.
Plus, I’m sure some women might find it an interesting diversion from the more commonly expressed male desire of wanting to do anal play on her. If she’s worth her salt, she’ll recognize that you wanting to be penetrated by her is a good thing, not a bad one! You’re clearly a fellow with an open mind.
She might not be comfortable with the idea, sure, but if you explain to her your reasons as to why you’re interested in trying it– including talking to her about the prostate if she’s not familiar with that particular use of it– should probably go a long way. And don’t expect someone who’s conservative in bed to change over-night. Remind her that there’s no such thing as a ‘gay’ sex act, if that seems to be the problem. Obviously, you’re asking her because you want it to happen with her. And be honest, let her know it was hard for you to bring up, but hopefully you did because if you want her to be honest with you, you know you need to be honest with her and walk the walk.
Bottom line: Be honest, be clear about your hopes/reasons/expectations, and remember to take her desires and concerns seriously. If it’s gonna be a long slow road, bring it up every so often, but don’t pester. And make sure you’re willing to make some of her fantasies come true as well
Good luck, lads!
December 31st, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I absolutely love strapon play , guys may be unreceptive at first but they love it really. I love anal and I dont even have a prostate to be stimulated
January 2nd, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Ms Kristen,
Your post is very beautiful but I hope most women have this open mind about pegging. Why to blame men? A simple browsing on most pegging sites clearly shows that men who are into pegging are about 30 times more than women.
Your husband’s situation is similar to mine. I have been only fingered by two of my ex. Although i love being pegged almost every day, I do not like big ones. I prefer the woman to pound my butt but with a small cock.
I think every woman should peg her husband or boyfriend at least few times with different dildos to see if she really loves it. I guess most would.
bim
January 7th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
I’ve always enjoyed anal sex with my partner very much. Many months back my girlfriend while giving me oral started lightly brushing my anus with her fingers. As the months past it progressed to slipping a finger into me. This went on till we purchased a beginners strap on. The first experience was a failure not because of the intent rather the poor quality. We both wanted to explore the notion of a strap on further and purchased another that was slightly larger and of a much higher quality.
After a few weeks of experimentation with various positions and different lubrications we finally found a few methods that bring us both immense amounts of pleasure. Let me state that I’m not homosexual and have no sexual interest in men. Though I have to say that in the 15 years that I’ve been sexually active nothing makes me cum as hard and long with so much force as when I’m being taken from behind, my partners hands holding me firm and just giving it to me. She finds great pleasure in the control aspect as our roles are reversed and she controls when and how we both cum.
Sex is so much better if you have an open channel of communication as can discuss honestly your ideas, desires and limitations. All I can say is give it a go. In the end (no joke intended) it may not be your thing (and again) but on the other hand you may just find your sexual satisfactions are taken to a whole new level.
Daniel – Australia
January 13th, 2010 at 8:27 pm
i had a conversation my wife about that very thing and shes open to it iam 28 and just wanted to try other things in the bedroom i love the idea of my wife being in control and giving it to me.but she does not understand why it such a turn on any ideas on how to tell her.
January 14th, 2010 at 5:47 am
Just tell her that you like to explore all your body, and that you also like to psychologically feel being controlled. Sex is not just a physical pleasure, but also psychological. There is no need to have any complications about sex.
January 16th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
THANKS
January 16th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Cam,
Ask her to help you find your P-spot, and that you want to know if it will rock your world like you have heard. Nothing more, nothing less. I would save the “in control” conversation for the post game follow up. Baby steps.
January 17th, 2010 at 10:34 am
this is fantastic!
i bought my BF a strap-on for xmas, because my wrist gets tired and his ass is hungry. we haven’t gotten around to using it yet (the hecticity of the holidays!), but i’m looking forward to it.
January 20th, 2010 at 4:09 pm
My last girlfriend loved to use a strap-on with me, it was her idea at first but as I warmed to the idea we experimented with Analplay, I love the idea of giving all the ‘power’ over to a woman & reversing the role in the bedroom
January 20th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
I love this too, but hope women do not have that much complications about strapon sex. Most of us men love strapon sex for its sexual pleasure, but for women it is another thing.
January 21st, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Hey its been a few days but i told her what i wanted her to do and it was great. it was the best time i had in a long time. she was a little uneasy at first but she came around we are going to try a few more time and try to incorp.it into our sex life
January 22nd, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I’ve read through the discussion and have almost tried everything to get my wife to just even think about toyin with my rear…still nothing I do find it ironic that I can lick, play and stuff her rear with all the toys in the world and yet she cannot return the favor. help
January 26th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
tell her you would like for yall to host a toy party and invite some of your good friends to break the ice and make it fun so she wont feel uneasy me and my wife hosted a few and we had a blast. just a few people over have some food and drinks and have the host so some of the product. and asks her to buy a few things to use on you
January 30th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
your storys and reploys are good ,,ive asked my wife lately to do me in my ass ,,why i dont realy know and she has ,,dut she hates the idea and realy lets me know when we are at it etc ,,i would have though that some wemon would have loved too be asked to do this ?but i gess i was wrong ,,PS not gay or have any plans too BE sorry.
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:51 am
Thats funny because im the same way! My boyfriends ass is so yummy and perfect but he rarely lets me finger it.. But when i do its so amazing i even got him to let me stick a vibrater in his ass i know he loved it.. Is it weird if i wanna lick it? Cause i do and i have
only once and it was in thr shower lol i wish he would let me f… Him in the a$$ with a strap on … Right now its outta the question to him.. But im workin on it;)
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:49 pm
has any body a way i can get my wife to do me in my ass ,, without turning her away or off me ? i love my wife and would do anything for her ,, but lately i have this crazey idea of here of doig me in my ass
February 4th, 2010 at 12:47 am
Ill do it for ya
lol
February 4th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I love haveing my ass fingered but can’t convince my gf to go further can anyone help me?
February 4th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Reading these posts has been great, esp to hear what normal people have to say on the subject. I also would love my gf to do me with a strapon, so far she has spanked me and fingered me but I have not pushed the subject of the strapon – though really would like to.
I love the intense mental aspect of the role-reversal, ie giving her that control. Although I am a ver straight guy, I love the fact that she can have that intimate control over me – this would also extend to having her make me wear a pair of panties under a formal suit – once again it is something no one else knows about but is intensely intimate.
February 6th, 2010 at 9:23 am
Single bisensual male here, chiming in to say that here in my area I am not sure which web sites to post a personals ad for partners who would be willing to explore. I’ve been ridiculed and snobbed too many times to come out to a stranger I find attractive.
Where can an attractive, intelligent, bisensual guy search for love?
February 8th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
i like it when my wife plays with my hole. It feels good we have used plugs and an anal vibe that shefucks me with while eat her pussy. I think she likes it because she sometimes she really gets going and I am licking as fast as i can.So she enjoys that part of it. we have tried a strap on once and not much happen for either one if us. I really like the idea of submittingto her her pounding in me. I want to try again Ihave read that some time women can get really hot while doing this. Maybe as a second go around she can pound my hole then make me clean her out to more orgasms. any feed back folks.