I read this because I’m looking forward to my boyfriend’s first time. I love him very, very much. And it’s because I love him that I want his first time to be a success, so to speak. I wouldn’t dream of badmouthing Cherry Popper or her man (on the contrary, kudos to her for her generosity of spirit!), but some of these commenters could stand to consider that this kind of information can foster successful relationships, far from fueling short-term ones.

Anyway. The point is, thanks for the great ideas, Em & Lo, certainly gives me something to think about!

Hey, Brent and Chimot, get laid much? My guess is no. Those are the only guys I know who hate sex. And they usually don’t get laid because they think of all women with the “whore/madonna” dichotomy. Or are just plain jerks. Or both….

If the young gentleman doesn’t want this young woman to be his First One, all he has to do is say, “Thanks, but I think I’ll wait.” Who in heaven’s name said anything about “rape?” The thought processes of the prudish and sex haters. I’ll never understand.

I have also never met a man who wasn’t completely grateful to the woman who was his “First.” A number of these guys were certainly not on Love with her, or she with him, but were very thankful to her for her generosity and patient teaching skills. Young men don’t get their “hearts broken” much in situations like these. Really. There may be a few young men who would say “no” to this young woman’s offer, but damn few…..

I read it as I have a male friend who is a virgin and wants someone to teach him the ropes, no strings attached. I was unsure how to proceed or if I should infact refuse so he may find his true love for this. I respect the fact that he asked me and am flattered and feel although it may be a slight pity fuck, that if we both are concenting adults who know where we stand then where is the harm?

Personally I think it is all great advice although I think the sex book is not needed if you are open enough to discuss these things with eachother (and you should be if you are about to have sex) and anal play isn’t really for begininers. I would also like to add the main thing that isn’t actually meantioned, if he says no or is uncomfortable then you have to respect his wishes and not “train” them out of him. Just be open and honest with eachother and above all communicate!

One message to the others who have replied to this, what most seem to forget is that it will be between two concenting adults and you’re own personal views on what should or shouldn’t be done are therefore irrelevant unless you are one of the two involved.

Beatrice
xx

And to Emandlo, #7 is a great piece of advice but what’s with the “teach him this, teach him that, he should”, what ever happened to spontaneity and basic good communication? Besides you’re assuming that CP is a sexgoddess. CP should not be the guys teacher. Having sex is not that difficult, it´s a lot easier than learning how to walk, drive a car, even animals can do it and they don´t have access to how-to- books. If CP is going to have sex with the guy she should be should ´handle´ him as every other guy, maybe have a little more patience than usual and maybe take the lead just a little but that´s it. If she wants to have good sex with him communication is the key. CP should work on communication in general with him.

For all the people who think this is a great article I have a question. Do you equally like this?:

Q: I’ve been dating this gal for about a month and found out that she’s a virgin. I’m not. By far. I’m looking for tips and tricks on how to train her and introduce her to this in a good way that will make her a better person for some lucky man down the road.
A: We totally admire your brotherly attitude! If only every man thought this way. If you think she might be a bit of a slow learner, then tell her in advance, “If I do something to you, it usually means I’d like you to do it to me at some point. Follow my lead, and 5-6-7-8!”
1. Next time she’s over, have her stumble across a fun sex manual that “just happens” to be out in plain sight. Have fun flipping through it with her. Let her borrow it before you do the deed.
4. Set the pace. Show her how the pace of sex can change, how you can go back and forth between oral and intercourse. Let her watch you masturbate and then have her take over. The point is to show her that there’s no preordained beginning, middle, and end to sex.
5. That said, during any pre-deflowering hook-up sessions, and during all other seshes that follow (whether or not they culminate in intercourse), make sure she attends to your pleasure, either by giving you an orgasm or assisting you in giving yourself one. In other words, teach her that every time she gets off, so should her partner (unless he says otherwise).
7. Never laugh at her or make her feel stupid for an unskilled move or a naive question.
10. Be clear about what you like, but don’t simply bark directions and instructions. Where possible, lead her with your hands or your body.
10. Every time you go down on her, she should return the favor — if not in the same sesh, then before you offer up that favor again. She needs to learn reciprocity.
11. Teach her that what probably feels best to her during intercourse probably doesn’t feel best to you.
Happy boinking!

dude rather than knowing nothing at all and not being able to satisfy my partner I see it as a good thing that there are people that will teach you how to do a better job rather than sending you out into the world knowing absolutly nothing other than the basics