Other people’s dreams are never interesting…except when they’re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a straight woman asks Lauri:
So, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that is really making me feel kind of awkward. In my dream, I was in a high-rise building, like an office building. I was in this kitchenette with a female friend of mine, who happens to be bisexual. In the dream, we started making out, and then she picked me up and took me over to a corner where we proceeded to have sex. Just as I was having an amazing orgasm, a particularly preachy religious friend of mine comes in the door and sees us and tells us that we need to stop. I try to convince him that she and I are not having sex, and then he just leaves. The dream ends with my female friend asking me what I am going to tell my boyfriend about what happened, and I tell her that he won’t mind. The weird thing is, I am not attracted to my friend physically and am definitely straight. She is not even a friend that I spend a lot of time with, honestly. I am in a happy relationship … and I do not understand where this is coming from. Am I missing something?
— Curious But Not Bi-Curious
Lauri: Naughty dreams about people we’d never touch (in that way) with a ten-foot pole can certainly make us scratch our heads… and avoid eye contact with them the next day! But rest assured, this dream does not mean you need to start questioning your sexuality.
Let’s dissect this dream and see if we can’t make you feel a little less awkward. The high-rise office building symbolizes something in your life that you have “built,” something you have “worked” hard at. It may be your job, it may be a relationship, it may be a skill, a project or even your reputation.
Since you don’t see this friend that is in your dream that much, she is probably not playing herself. Ask yourself what she is like. What three words first come to mind when you think of her personality. Got ’em? Okay, now ask yourself which of those qualities you could really use right now in order to make a decision or make something happen. It probably has something to do with the way she communicates. I say this because that is what kissing in a dream usually refers to in a dream: communication. Have you recently or do you need to communicate like she does?
You wind up having an amazing orgasm because your dreaming mind is telling you that communicating in the same way she does will bring you great satisfaction or allow you a much needed release! However, there is another part of you, symbolized by your religious friend, that thinks that may be going too far… but you quickly poo-poo that! You also wonder to yourself — in the voice of this friend — if this way of communicating or doing things will be a problem with your boyfriend. You then tell yourself, in your own voice, that he won’t mind. That’s the point at which the dream ends, which means that is the point you need to take with you. Whatever it is you’re saying, whatever decision you need to make… go for it!
Response from Curious But Not Bi-Curious: Wow, that really fits what’s going on in my life. My boyfriend of three years and I have been having some problems with how much time we spend alone. I have been avoiding talking to him about it because I am not sure I am being reasonable. My friend is very direct in the way that she communicates, but is also very calm and definitely a one-on-one kind of person. I think I’ll talk with him tonight. Thank you!