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Wise Guys: If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?

Tue, Mar 17, 2009

Advice, Wise Guys

door_penisphoto by solidstate

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: If a guy asks me how I think his penis ranks size-wise, and I honestly think it’s a little on the small side or perhaps too skinny, what do you think the best approach is?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I’ll start answering this question with another question:¬† If I honestly think a woman is on the big side or perhaps a little chubby and she asks me if she’s fat, what do you think the best approach is? Of course I tell her that she looks great. But there’s a difference between these two situations: she can eat a healthier diet and exercise but he can’t do anything about his size. She may even be looking for a little motivation with the question, but it’s still polite to fib in this instance. Which means it’s imperative to fib in the other instance. Tell him that you think his size is great. You can add that you’ve seen bigger and, more importantly, you’ve seen smaller, and that he’s just right.¬† Adding that too big can be uncomfortable is always a good tidbit as well.¬† Being honest in this case will only serve to make him forever self-conscious or even more self-conscious than he already is (men hear all the time that “It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean,” but men also see the widening eyes and devilish smiles when women talk about sizable, girthy man-sausage). A finessed answer can give him the confidence that most women find attractive and will more than make up for his tiny dick.

Straight Single Guy (Chris): This is an easy one: Lie. If you tell the truth (“It’s kind of too skinny…”) his penis may never again work for you, ever. Put yourself in his shoes, “Are my boobs big enough for you? You seem to always look at girls with big boobs when they walk by…” Would you really want him to say “Well, honey, your boobs are cute, but they are much smaller than I prefer. If I could use magic to change you, I would give you natural 34DD’s.” So lie. But before you do, you need to know is that if his penis is small-ish, he already knows. He is already sensitive about it, and he is just hoping you haven’t been with any well-endowed men. So if you overcompensate with an outright fabrication such as, “It’s huge. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen,” he will know you are lying to spare his feelings and he will feel even worse. So just say, “Honestly, it’s not the biggest one I’ve ever seen, but it works great for me and you are fantastic in bed. Let’s do it right now!” Trust me, this is the only answer that can work.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Oooh. Awkward. You might just want to end the relationship right then and there rather than suffer through such an uncomfortable conversation, especially if you can’t bluff. It is never advisable to tell a man his tool is anything but a first-rate, thick cut orgasm factory. If a man is asking you if you think he’s small, he’s probably having some self confidence issues, and confirming his suspicions will only exacerbate problems. So if you don’t mind living with his teeny-tiny skinny-minny member, lie through your teeth. Nothing good can come of you admitting you think he’s small. If the size of his prize has been an issue for you, or you’ve been looking for an excuse to break it off anyway, you might want to begin with “It’s not your small penis, it’s me. . .”

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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202 Responses to “Wise Guys: If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?”

  1. size Says:

    I’m a 40 y/o guy who has been around the block a few times. I love women, but some (most?) have no idea what an “inch” is. I have been called everything for “average” to “huge” (and probably have even been called “small” behind my back too). My penis is 7.5″ bpel (bone-pressed-erect-length) and a modest 5″ to maybe 5.25″ girth. It fits in the toilet paper roll, but just barely touches the sides- the head and some shaft sticks out of the roll. (Be aware that some TP companies have made the rolls larger to make it seem that you are getting more TP, but in actuality you are just getting a wider cardboard cylinder- so this test varies). My point is that you have to take what some women say about “inches” with a grain of salt- most have a distorted view of what an inch is. One of my exes thought I was 9″??? I also knew a girl who thought more than half of her unusually long index finger was an inch.
    I also have seen plenty of naked men in real life. I wish I could say the average man is 5.5″ like some studies say, but I don’t think that is the case. I think most men that I have seen are at least 6.5″ inches. Many are much bigger and also have more girth than the average 4.75″. Sadly, a good percentage have much more girth than my best measurement of 5.25″.
    Girls- don’t even mention size unless you are saying it is bigger than normal. Guys- don’t ask, and don’t forget- the best thing about having an average (or small) penis is the anal and great blow jobs. Girls can really swirl their tongues around an average sized penis if they know what they are doing.
    If nothing else, go get laid and then move to a different town where nobody knows it is too small.

  2. Straight Dude Says:

    How did the gay guy give the only acceptable response?

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