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Wise Guys: If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?

Tue, Mar 17, 2009

Advice, Wise Guys

door_penisphoto by solidstate

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: If a guy asks me how I think his penis ranks size-wise, and I honestly think it’s a little on the small side or perhaps too skinny, what do you think the best approach is?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): I’ll start answering this question with another question:  If I honestly think a woman is on the big side or perhaps a little chubby and she asks me if she’s fat, what do you think the best approach is? Of course I tell her that she looks great. But there’s a difference between these two situations: she can eat a healthier diet and exercise but he can’t do anything about his size. She may even be looking for a little motivation with the question, but it’s still polite to fib in this instance. Which means it’s imperative to fib in the other instance. Tell him that you think his size is great. You can add that you’ve seen bigger and, more importantly, you’ve seen smaller, and that he’s just right.  Adding that too big can be uncomfortable is always a good tidbit as well.  Being honest in this case will only serve to make him forever self-conscious or even more self-conscious than he already is (men hear all the time that “It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean,” but men also see the widening eyes and devilish smiles when women talk about sizable, girthy man-sausage). A finessed answer can give him the confidence that most women find attractive and will more than make up for his tiny dick.

Straight Single Guy (Chris): This is an easy one: Lie. If you tell the truth (“It’s kind of too skinny…”) his penis may never again work for you, ever. Put yourself in his shoes, “Are my boobs big enough for you? You seem to always look at girls with big boobs when they walk by…” Would you really want him to say “Well, honey, your boobs are cute, but they are much smaller than I prefer. If I could use magic to change you, I would give you natural 34DD’s.” So lie. But before you do, you need to know is that if his penis is small-ish, he already knows. He is already sensitive about it, and he is just hoping you haven’t been with any well-endowed men. So if you overcompensate with an outright fabrication such as, “It’s huge. It’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen,” he will know you are lying to spare his feelings and he will feel even worse. So just say, “Honestly, it’s not the biggest one I’ve ever seen, but it works great for me and you are fantastic in bed. Let’s do it right now!” Trust me, this is the only answer that can work.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Oooh. Awkward. You might just want to end the relationship right then and there rather than suffer through such an uncomfortable conversation, especially if you can’t bluff. It is never advisable to tell a man his tool is anything but a first-rate, thick cut orgasm factory. If a man is asking you if you think he’s small, he’s probably having some self confidence issues, and confirming his suspicions will only exacerbate problems. So if you don’t mind living with his teeny-tiny skinny-minny member, lie through your teeth. Nothing good can come of you admitting you think he’s small. If the size of his prize has been an issue for you, or you’ve been looking for an excuse to break it off anyway, you might want to begin with “It’s not your small penis, it’s me. . .”

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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202 Responses to “Wise Guys: If He Asks About Size, Can I Tell Him the Truth?”

  1. mm7802 Says:

    I can kind of relate to Curiousdude. I am a 22 year old black male, 6’2″ 185 lbs. with a 7 inch penis and 5.5 girth. I used to think I was big when I was 16 and 17, but over the last few years I have had some insecurity about it. I’ve had a few girls tell me it was big, and I haven’t had a girl tell me I was small but I can’t help but think that girls expect me to have like a 9 inch penis with 7 inches of girth! I love to lick all over a girl and play with her nipples while making love to a girl.

  2. Howard Says:

    LIE LIE LIE! I agree with all of the replies you have gotten. There is not one male on this planet that wants to hear that his dick is too small. I’m a 38 year old man and I have an average sized penis..(6 inches) I have never gotten any complaints from the women I’ve been with. I have asked that same question before too if mine was too small and she replied that its absolutely perfect..Now was she lying? Who knows..I would hope not, but it sure made me feel great..! So if you really like this guy make him feel like the Dick King and tell him it completely satisfies you. He wont have any hang ups about it and will probably perform that much better with that extra boost of confidence.

  3. richard ludwig Says:

    another thing you can do is NOT take her at her word, NOT trust her, and say to her that she was lying just to spare your feelings! to me – the best way to handle it is to do total truth with the guy and NOT SPARE his feelings.

  4. richard ludwig Says:

    and ill bet you $50 in monopoly money that she WAS lying!

  5. Madamoselle L Says:

    Dudes, maybe it’s just better not to ask.

    Sometimes it’s like asking, “Am I the best you ever had?” BAD set up question.

    Just DON’T ASK, and ladies, DON’T tell. (It’s about the only place where “don’t ask, don’t tell” actually works. That and “Does this dress make my ass look big?”)

  6. Johnny Says:

    Don’t lie. Ask an unpleasant question, get an unpleasant answer. Just like when a woman asks me if she should lose some weight: “Yup!”

  7. Leah R Says:

    I don’t care what women lie and say…size DOES matter. No ocean on the planet will make up for a small penis that barely hits the G Spot. Been in the situation where I know what a chisled pole of steal with length and girth can do as opposed to a vienna sausage. Pahleeze…fellas and ladies let’s stop lying. SIZE DOES MATTER! Small men have to work themselves damn near into a frenzy pushing and shoving that little thing to make it work. Therefore you end up working twice as hard for satisfaction. 8 inches or more is required!

  8. Michael Says:

    Required for what? A bad speller with an extra-large vagina?

  9. richard ludwig Says:


    also – studies PROVE that a penis of about 5” is the most that is needed for vaginal orgasms. the g-spot is only 2” in.

  10. richard ludwig Says:

    leah – on the topic of lying – do YOU fake orgasms because that IS a form of lying:D

  11. Don Says:

    If he’s too small for you, he likely feels you are too large in the bat cave for him. Or, he may well think you are too lazy to do the Kegel exercises necessary to be able to work your stuff.
    Now if you expect him to provide a roof over your head and three square meals every day, you better damn well lie or your search for these “other” attributes will be expected to continue.

  12. mp Says:

    Should I continue to give my boyfriend oral sex when he doesnt do it to me? what should I tell him if I dont get off and he ask me every time we are done should I just tell him the truth, that I rather him use his finger instead? Oh, what if my dildo is bigger than his penis should I use it in front of him, I think it hurts his feelings because thats when he starts asking “is my penis to small”.

  13. richard ludwig Says:

    mp, you should very gently do total truth with him,
    just be very honest and gentle about it and do not mince words. it could also be your toy is so big that it streached your pussy so much you cannot feel his cock in you. if that is the case, then i suggest that you do the keigel exercises to tighten it up so you can both enjoy it. plus, the male is a very sensitive person, and if you use the dildo in front of him he most likely WILL kick YOU to the curb, so you might consider throwing the dildo in the trash, doing the keigel exercises, to tighten your pussy up, and and stay with him. and above all – ask yourself very deep inside, do i LOVE HIM, DO I REALLY SERIOUSLY LOVE HIM?

  14. Lady T Says:

    most man have small dicks. 7inches long is in the realm of a small dick. anywhere from 9inches and up now that is a dong! and i am not afraid to tell a man to go chop of his little nook and get a real dong, plus i would cheat on him, so he would know that i he has a small wee wee………..lol!

  15. Michael Says:

    Lady T, you are hilarious. Completely retarded, but hilarious.

  16. mark Says:

    Lady T, does it have any tread left or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?

  17. Jasmine Says:

    Ok, so I googled “My bf thinks his penis is too small” and found this website. Seems to be the only place where i might get an answer from rational adults..I love my bf, he’s my soulmate & the perfect man for me. We have not had sex yet, I’m a virgin…The thing is I’ve never felt like it would be right with anyone until I met him..We’re in 2 different places right now (it’s long distance) so we won’t be having sex anytime soon…I don’t know how big he is, and i’ve never believed size matters. I know it does not. He’s had a lot of experiences that have scarred him emotionally and he believes that he’s inadequate and that he’s cursed and that he’s just living in a world where he has been robbed of his masculinity (due to all the commercials, sit coms, movies, even animated movies!! & sadly women around him “obsess” over penis size…). The problem: ALL of our fights revolve around this one issue; his complete lack of self-esteem. He thinks that it’s hopeless that he won’t satisfy me (which is not true..no1 has ever turned me on more than he has) and the smalles hint about penises or a movie/sit com/novel tht referred to penis size just depresses him and whenever that happens i get so frustrated with how stubborn he is that we end up fighting…lately i’ve been trying to calm down and not take the things he says about “what women want” too personal because it IS offensive…
    My question: How do i convince him (after many many many bad experiences and lots of exposure to the importance of a big penis) that it does not matter?? I’m just so worried that I’ll have sex with him & get even more attached to him & all he’ll be thinking is “OMG im not good enough”…I just want him to feel better about himself & to realise that size isn’t important!!

  18. Jasmine Says:

    this stuff stays anonymous right?? im just freaking out now, if he finds out i wrote this it’ll just devastate him even more…shit

  19. Richard little Says:

    Jasmine it sounds like you are thinking about most things correctly and maturely. I don’t think your boyfriend would find anything you wrote upsetting since you are only being supportive. Its great that you care enough, and all I can say is be aware and supportive. Its really not that hard. I have to run but will check back to see if you are still looking for answers. I would like to help you build him up.

  20. Jasmine Says:

    Thanks Richard :)

    I’m not having a hard time supporting him, except when he completely shuts down becaue of this insecurity, then it’s like talking to a wall…he gets very stubborn and very depressed (I have figured out what I do that might trigger this mood) but sometimes it comes out of nowhere.

    I love him & I want our relationship to give him confidence, because it’s certainly done that & more for me.

    I just want to know how to give him back confidence in his..umm..penis..without sleeping with him..I’m not with him right now, and won’t be for a while. And while the relationship is great, I’ve noticed (something to which he admitted was true) that the closer we become, the angrier he is about “his situation” and it’s worrying me, because he has never been a negative infleuence and I’m starting to feel like maybe I am (something to which he, of course, says is very very untrue)

    This “issue” is just very very very aggravating because 1) he’s SO stubborn and 2) it’s not like i can shut him up and SHOW him (physically) that he’s wrong about not being adequate, because I’m not with him 3) I hate that someone i love so much could be so depressed for so loong about something that’s just…ridiculous in my opinion..not that I’m belittling his pain..just the cause of it

    So…tooo sum up
    Q: How do I convice my bf that size doesn’t matter when I’m not physically with him, and that women don’t care about size..(despite the many many many “size references” in almost everything around him..??

  21. amo 45 Says:

    That all depends on whether or not you want to keep having sex with him and if it doesn’t fulfill you tell him the truth.He’ll probably just call you some visious name but you’ll(and every other woman he’s been with) know better.If other than size its great and you can live with it LIE

  22. Jasmine Says:

    No amo I havn’t slept with him yet, he’s in another state right now. And I don’t need to LIE I’m already head over heels for this guy, whateve size he comes in, not a problem for me..However, I’d just like to say that telling a man that kind of “truth” is just brutal and uncalled for…If you want to stop seeing someone because they’re not satisfying you sexually/emotionally/intellectually or whatever you don’t actually have to emmasculate them in the name of HONESTY..that’s just ridiculous, if we’re capable of lying then I’m sure we’re capable of coming up with another reason for bailing..One that woudln’t ruin that man or woman for someone who would fall in love with them later on

  23. Jasmine Says:

    Btw Richard…The reason my bf is so emotionally scarred is because his mom & sisters teased him about his penis when he was young…and even today (the sisters are married with kids in their teens) they’re these rabid feminist bigots from Texas who’s favorite dinner topic is penis size…seriously it’s frightening how his family obsesses over size…they discus it infront of their pre-teen daughters!! It’s just so de-spiriting for me because whatever little progress I make with my bf, they just piss all over whatever little confidence he gets back, only because they’re so empty, dim & tedious & can’t think of anything better to discuss at a family gathering. He’s been very unfortunate with the women he’s encountered in his life..including the ones he was raised by & with. I just thought ud relate and maybe help me help him..i just read your comment “. My mom, when I was 10 saw me naked and said “Doesn’t that thing ever grow” Jump forward years into my sexual relations. ”
    So I thought maybe you’d understand what I’m talking about
    Honestly, I didnt think mothers are capable of fucking up so bad..I’m really sorry you went through that..

  24. Slartibartfast Says:

    Jasmine, I don’t know his or your exact circumstances but it sure does sound like a little of his family goes a very long way. Just be sure not to confuse those dedicated to the proposition that women are people too with unreconstructed misanthropes.

  25. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Jasmine, this dude needs HELP. He’s being immature and manipulative and from what you say, he’s using his “insecurity” as a way to try to guilt you into having sex with him, when you aren’t ready. Is he respecting YOUR side of the issue? My guess would be “No.” HOW is the “relationship” “great?” I see nothing but stress and strife. Is it ONLY “great” when he says it can be, not taking into account YOUR needs and feelings?

    You said: “And while the relationship is great, I’ve noticed (something to which he admitted was true) that the closer we become, the angrier he is about “his situation” and it’s worrying me, because he has never been a negative infleuence” He’s a “negative influence” now, and it will only get worse. There are a LOT of red flags about him from what you wrote.

    You said: “He thinks that it’s hopeless that he won’t satisfy me (which is not true..no1 has ever turned me on more than he has) and the smalles hint about penises or a movie/sit com/novel tht referred to penis size just depresses him and whenever that happens i get so frustrated with how stubborn he is that we end up fighting” WHY is it YOUR fault? WHY should a “reference” from a movie or anything else set him OFF like this? I don’t believe a WORD about the whole “feminist bigot family” bullshit. Real Feminists (the word means something different to everyone) DO NOT go around making fun of people’s body parts. DID YOU WITNESS THIS???? Or is this something he is telling you? RED FLAGS all around. WHY does he TAKE IT OUT ON YOU when a MOVIE on TV mentions penises? This man is ill, mentally ill.

    NO ONE should use guilt, give you silly stories about how “mommy and my sisters were mean to me” (even if the stories are true, which I doubt, IF they are: what a SICK family, WHO does things like that? What good can come from this?)

    DON’T let him coerce you. If you do stay with him, and eventually have sex with him with him my guess is he will ALWAYS have some overwhelming thing to be “insecure” about, and for reasons unknown, he will, think YOU have to fix it for him. This is one of the most dangerous kinds of relationships to be in. I don’t want to scare you, but this has “Domestic Violence” (in the near future) written all over it.

    This man needs help, and it is NOT something you can fix at all. He needs professional help, and I have fear for you and for your safety. He seems to either be blaming you for NOTHING you did, or expects you to fix his nearly NON EXISTENT problem. (You haven’t even had sex yet, ALL this is about, in reality is HIM setting YOU up to PRAISE him about what a great lover he is (despite his equipment, which HE is more worried about than you are) IF you ever do have sex with him. THAT is manipulative and reeks of mental imbalance. WHEN you do have sex, and say it was fine, he will either continue with this silliness, (THIS is what you want to live with for the rest of your life?) OR develop something else he will become “insecure” about and expect you to “fix” that, if that doesn’t work, he will start in on YOU and how YOU have to change things, so he “feels better” about his insecurities. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY OR SAFE PLACE FOR ANYONE TO BE.

    People who need NONSTOP reassurance are never good to get into a relationship with, the more “reassurance” they get, the MORE they require and also EVERYTHING you will do will become part of what is bothering him, and the cycle will go on.

    Please, take a look at this relationship, a man THIS needy and insecure needs to DEAL with his issues (and they have little or nothing to do with his penis) BEFORE he gets into a relationship for adults. It has NOTHING to do with his member, and everything to do with his immature attitude and obvious resentment of ALL women, (hates his mother, hates his sisters, FIGHTS with YOU when someone on TV mentions penises.)

    This guy is a classic, insecure, immature needy nut. There is NOTHING you will EVER be able to do to make him “feel competent” because he ISN’T secure enough to feel it HIMSELF. I isn’t YOUR JOB to make him feel competent. That job is his alone. His, and his therapist’s job. You can’t “fix” him. I am really worried that this immature and insecure man will eventually take out even more of his misogyny on YOU.

  26. Jasmine Says:

    Ur a very angry person Madamoiselle L & very very very paranoid, which is ironic. Anyway, he is not manipulative at all he’s very respective and very nurturing and caring. I wanted advice on how to mkae him feel better about an insecurity he has. An insecurity all guys have, some more severely than others. I don’t have to defend the relationship or how healhty it is and I’ve been around long enough to sense “domestic abuse” in the near or distant future. and i KNOW it’s not my job to make him feel secure, however that’s what I do for people i love, and it is painful for him to talk to me about this, but I insist that we talk about it because I talk to him about my insecurities all the time. he’s not manipulative and this thing duznt rule our relationship, its the only thing we argue about. WE ALL have insecurities and we all handle them in our own way, and i just prefer comfort and support from the ones who love me and i expect the ones i love to count on me as well, that’s all, it’s not that complicated. I love someone who has a deep insecurity (on and btw i HAVE been around his family, and yes its true, they’re very shallow & materialistic & the women talk about penis size over dinner) and i just want advice on how to make him feel better, not because i have to or because he’s manipulating me, but because i love him very very much. and it’s painful to see someone assume that kind of shit about him after wht i wrote about him, thts just horrible. He’s a great person, very loving and very successful and i feel very very very safe with him & he does not have a depressive personality at all (although he knows how to deal with mine) So, Madamoiselle L ur advice was completely useless and thnku for ur concern but u seem to know a lot about abusive men and i really hope it doesn’t come frm personal experience.

  27. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Jeez. I didn’t mean to offend you. People ask for advice……All I did was comment on something I saw as VERY obvious. I could very well be wrong.

    I didn’t read much of the rest of your post after “and it is painful for him to talk to me about this, but I insist that we talk about it because I talk to him about my insecurities all the time. he’s not manipulative and this thing duznt rule our relationship, its the only thing we argue about.” WHY would you do that to him? WHY would you FORCE HIM he talk about such a delicate issue? That’s cruel, from my perspective. Especially if he did come from the type of family you described. It just seems to be the thing that would be much too familiar to him……I’ve been with the same man for decades and I don’t PUSH. Men HATE that. They talk when they are comfortable, if you have to drag things out of them, you only birth resentment. But, you must know best….

    And no, I don’t’ know “a lot” of abusive men, but I know the signs (I’m a nurse, and we have had Signs of Domestic Abuse training)….of course, if you are MAKING him talk about this stuff, I don’t understand. Again, I could be wrong, Usually when I ASK for advice and someone says something I don’t agree with, I simply LET IT GO.

    Anyway, Sorry. I won’t address the issue anymore. I guess the ball is in your court. I hope things get better for you.

    Good luck.

    (How could I be paranoid? I don’t think this dude is out to get ME. I don’t understand why you used the word. Doesn’t matter. Don’t bother. This is OT enough.)

  28. Derrick Says:

    I’m Totally Falling for the Girl I’m Dating. We have great chemistry Still working on our trust… I Want to satisfy her but i dont know if i am Enough for her with 7″ idk should i tell her about my insecurities Wat should i do?

  29. richard ludwig Says:

    derrick – if i was you – i would force the issue with her – ask her if cock size matters to her – if she says yes – then kick her to the curb BEFORE SHE DOES IT TO YOU!!

  30. richard ludwig Says:

    derrick – if you kick her to the curb before she does it to you if she says ”yes – cock size does matter” – then it would spare you pain from getting picked on, teased, and insulted by her because of it – and it tells her LOUD AND CLEAR – she will have to get her cock size insulting jollies elsewhere,

  31. richard ludwig Says:

    derrick -
    let me clarify that a bit – she might also be more concerned on how fat your cock is and not so much about how long it is. IF she likes it fat and does not care about how long it is – then she(and you) should be golden – BUT if she cares more about how long it is and not so much about how fat your cock is – if she likes them long that makes her a size queen in my book.
    THATS when you kick them to the curb – because she will love you ONLY for how your cock is – NOT ALL OF YOU – just your long cock,

  32. fuzzy Says:

    @richard ludwig:

    y’all sound like a bunch of 5th graders. grow up.

  33. Jeannette Says:

    Ho to all!
    I really don’t understand you guys. A 7″ is LONG!!! What is going on? A lot of people with smaller penis a reading that and getting more frustrated! You can make a woman happy with an size of penis. You just have to know how!

  34. Jeannette Says:

    I meant Hi! :D

  35. richard ludwig Says:

    jeanette -
    i have been frustrated LONG BEFORE i found these forums – i have been frustrated by women who banished me to the ”friend” list just because i did not have an 8” long bulge in my pants. but i met a woman who loves me – ALL OF ME – from the hAirs on my head – down to my 3.5” cock – and down to my toenails. too much info – WELL – THEN THAT IS TOO DAMN BAD

  36. anathema Says:

    I’m getting the sense that Richard’s form of “performance art” is to offer negative feedback to every poster whether it makes sense or not. My boyfriend has a nice, thick, uncut 7″ cock. It’s not the biggest I’ve ever seen, but it makes me feel amazing. And it’s big enough that when we’re doing dom/sub roleplay, he can choke me with it, or hold it in his hand and slap my face with it–things I like that a small cock wouldn’t work as well for. Like so many men, he was really insecure about his size when we started dating, but I think he realizes that I am very honest and straightforward, and if I tell him it’s a nice, big, tasty cock, I mean it. With my prior boyfriend, who was not as well endowed, I never lied . . . I didn’t tell him it was big, but I did tell him it made me come, and that I loved to suck it. And proved both of those points regularly!

  37. richard ludwig Says:

    anathema -

    look – i call it the way my eyes see it – and i am not offering negative feedback – just being honest and real according to my experiences.
    and by the way – i have been picked on, teased, insulted because of my not being well endowed. i have also been mentally, emotionally, verbally abused by the same bitch who picked on me because of my cock size. it is what god gave me and there is not thing one i can do about it. that is NO REASON to fuck with a guys head – no matter how you justify it.

    ps – i am ever so very cut the shit and get right to the point.

  38. richard ludwig Says:

    anathema -

    oh – by the way – my personality is a combinaton of driver and analytical.

  39. richard ludwig Says:

    oh – and another thing – i also have a condition called aspergers syndrome(which is a form of high-functioning autism) – WHICH MEANS – i will say things that make perfect sense if read clearly WITHOUT ANY REGARD TO THE READERS FEELINGS!!
    basically – EAT SHIT

  40. grubber Says:

    I’ve been with few girls in my lifetime and 2 of them were very short term flings. Both of those girls spread rumors that i had a small penis.

    It hit me very hard the 1st time as I was young, however by the second time I realized these girls had other motives, firstly to hurt me for me rejecting them and more interestingly they both had larger than average vagina’s so suspect they may have been pushing insecurities onto me.

    So basically don’t worry about it..really, don’t let a few nasty words spoil your fun, if a girl trash talks, laugh at her and move on. There are millions of beautiful, gorgeous, loving girls out there – focus on giving your love and affection to them, they deserve it…and sometimes you might just be lucky enough to get some back.

  41. Madamoiselle L Says:

    grubber said: “I realized these girls had other motives, firstly to hurt me for me rejecting them and more interestingly they both had larger than average vagina’s”

    Uh huh.

  42. Wesley Says:

    Personally, if a woman feels that my 5 and 3/4″ (not lying, I’d love 9 and 3/4, for various reasons) penis is simply too small to satisfy on either an aesthetic or physical levels, then she really isn’t the sort of woman I want to have sex with.

    The whole Curb Your Enthusiasm-inspired small penis/huge vagina dichotomy is probably keeping people from having the best possible sex (even as it keeps us laughing). I’m the sort of person who would never consider a huge vagina problematic, and one who hopes that whatever woman I have sex with next won’t consider my “small” (average) penis problematic either. Sex is about any number of connections, not least of which is the physical. We like to feel and see certain things in a partner, and if one of those things is a large penis, then so be it. I’m just more interested in other things. Like, say, the pleasure of shared physical experience.

    A world in which men are paranoid about having 7″ cocks is not the world I want to live in. Size queens are ruining it for the rest of us, not because they create false standards (which is bad enough), but because their shallow selfishness devalues both their own sex lives, and ours by contact. God damn it.

  43. Kristen Says:

    Maybe people should realize that only they can control their own insecurities, or seek help in dealing with them. Nobody else can make you feel bad about yourself if you aren’t receptive to it.

    Why don’t we stop freaking out over things we can’t change, like genitals, and start focusing on being better people and better partners? Or is it just more fun to angst about things we have no control over? :P

  44. Melody Says:

    What strikes me first about this thread is precisely what Kristen just pointed out. If a question like this is even coming up, something is fundamentally wrong with the situation.

    You’ve absolutely, positively got to love yourself. Don’t expect someone else to validate you! It’s not going to happen.

    And if you do love yourself, body and soul, it cultivates confidence. Suddenly, you’re free to put yourself out there and love someone else, because you aren’t preoccupied with hating everything you have to offer (or worrying that someone won’t appreciate it). Realizing how awesome you are (without becoming egocentric) is the first step to a healthy existence.

    In other words, you’ve gotta love your own penis before someone else can, too. If you feel like you’ve got something great to offer, you probably do. Eventually, someone is going to see that.

    All that being said, insecurity is an epidemic in today’s society. So, in that case…

    If your guy is really asking you “is it big enough?,” you should be asking yourself, “is there something wrong with this situation?” Are you communicating to him that he’s somehow inadequate? Maybe you’ve stopped responding the same way in a sexual situation, or have become physically distant somehow. From what I’ve learned as a straight female, men place a lot of stock in how physically “wanted” they are. The minute a girl seems lukewarm, or in a worse situation, cold, the man starts to doubt himself, or his worth in the relationship. For that matter, the same thing happens with girls… I know if my guy gets physically distant from me, I wonder what might be going on.

    BUT, that’s where the self-confidence comes in: usually, it has nothing to do with YOU. Something is most likely going on in the other person’s life to cause the distance (stress at work, family trouble, all kinds of drama like that). So communicate with your partner. Keep them in the loop. If the relationship is functional, you guys will work it out, and realize what’s going on, and how to fix it.

    That’s my two cents.

  45. krenshaw Says:

    I just want to say that I personally don’t believe anyone should ever lie. There is no such thing as a white lie. When you lie, you take away a person’s ability to plan their lives effectively using the best information. Even if you think they already know, it is still wrong to lie because it is like giving them permission to fool themselves.

    The real truth is never as harsh as people who tell white lies make it out to be. If he was really so small it was unbearable, and it’s really that important to you, then why would you be with him?

    Lying makes impossible several simple responses to the situation that might make everyone happier in the long run than a little anguish now.

    1) He could get over it and get a giant dildo to finish you off with, and you might find this satisfying, which he might like thus making everyone better off.

    2) You could both decide it isn’t working, and he could date a shorter girl who might really make him feel like a man.

    3) You could tell him the truth and use it as a reason why he needs to be more creative in the sack and use positions that ensure the right places are stimulated.

    etc… all of these are preferable to a relationship based on lies. Guys who would want you to lie about it are immature cowards IMO. I can handle any truth, but finding out someone was lying about how they felt about something like that would probably send me into a berserk rage towards the liar.

  46. Richard little Says:

    Jasmine I am REALLY sorry….dealing with the holidays and my on relationships I dropped the ball and didn’t bet back to this post until today. I will check back for a few days (week) or so. I hope all is good with your man….I read some of the peoples comments on here and it makes me feel like they need to be locked up without a keyboard. Its a sad fact that many people turn to the computer/newspaper or other anonymous resources for help only to find people more fucked up then themselves in the guise of “help” the spill their own hatred.

  47. Louise Says:

    Honestly, what does it matter in this world what one person thinks about you. Unless you are so insecure that all he or she says is the truth. You are depending on another human to tell you the truth? Human’s are mostly always lying when it comes to those questions.
    Get a life and get some self esteem, ask yourself that question and bear with the truth that you know. What you want is a bigger EGO, don’t ask those questions then.

  48. Richard little Says:


    What was the purpose of your post? If people are looking for support why come in and basically say FU? People like you are obviously angry and should really just shoot yourselves and spare the rest of us the stress of dealing with you:D After my post about people adding to the problem you only prove my point.

  49. emilyTheGreat Says:

    richard you my friend, are an arsehole with a small penis HA

  50. emilyTheGreat Says:

    why do men call women bucket pussies because they think a penis is small, just face it there are guys out there with abnormally small dicks GET OVER IT !!

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