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Your Call: What’s a Better Term for…Um…Er…Don’t Make Us Say It!

Tue, Mar 17, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo, Your Call

boobs_boltsphoto by Paul J. Everett

We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, once a week, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Help out this reader by posting your answers in the comments section below:

Dear Em & Lo,

I have a question that is something you could maybe open up to your readership: I hate the term “tittie-fuck.” Gah. Skin crawls just writing it. “Making love to one’s bosom” is just ridiculous. Could there possibly be another short-ish term to call this (fun for the fella) act that is neither so glib nor so formal as the former and latter, while retaining some semblance of sexiness? I can’t for the life of me think of one. Help?!?

– Lexically Challenged

Dear L.C.

We have no freakin’ idea — and we’re right there with you, the T.F. term makes our skin crawl. So, dear readers, help us out: What would you call it? Suggestions in the comments section, please…

– Em & Lo

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43 Responses to “Your Call: What’s a Better Term for…Um…Er…Don’t Make Us Say It!”

  1. Chelsea B Says:

    Although I sort of enjoy “tittie-fuck” (I don’t know why)
    There is always “boob-boning”!

  2. Patricia Says:

    Isn’t the T. F. activity how you arrive at the classic “pearl necklace”?

  3. Tom Says:

    What’s wrong with ‘Spanish’?

  4. Julian Says:

    In Britain it’s sometimes known as a “Bombay Roll”

  5. Tom Says:


  6. Ketchup Says:

    Boobie boinking

  7. AlanK Says:

    Technically (cf Dan Savage) it’s a form of frottage. Yeah, I know; that doesn’t help all that much. [Note:spell check doesn't recognize the word.]

  8. belle Says:

    In italy they call it “la spagnola” – the spanish (why oh why?).

  9. Hilary Says:

    a mamerable experiance

  10. Kavita Says:

    breast sex?

  11. Bree Says:

    nipple nookie.

  12. Ben Says:

    A couple years ago, I came home from a bar really drunk and began to “seduce” my wife, who was already sleeping in bed. Despite my high level of inebriation, it was all going very well — she was slowly waking up and slowly urging me to continue … then more quickly asking me to continue … then desperately demanding I continue …

    I started working my way up her body til I was astride her mid-section when, suddenly, mustering the ghost of every drink I’d had that night, proclaimed loudly, “I WANNA FUCK YER BOOBZ!”

    Needless to say, I have never lived it down.

  13. MegN Says:

    I wouldn’t mind a nicer term for it either, thus far it’s been “you know that thing we did last time… with the… fucking, of the… boobs…? Can we do that again?”

  14. Mike Says:

    always heard it called a “boob job”

  15. Don Corleone Says:

    The boob technique

  16. emandlo Says:

    Hilary, we’re groaning. And Ben, that’s hilarious. Now we’re determined to find out why the Spanish are associated with this particular act…

  17. Conrad Says:

    I learned it to be “French Fucking” back in the day.

  18. figleaf Says:

    This is another one of those things where I must just be missing something. I’ve done it a couple of times but I think it’s another one of those things that sounds more exotic than it feels. For the man. Last I heard vigorous rubbing of the sternum does nothing all for the recipient. So I figure anyone who wants to do it better be willing to do express his gratitude than say “thanks.” Maybe something with a less Spanish-sounding, more Latin-sounding name. Like cunnilingus. :-)


  19. Robbo Says:

    Plowing the Valley

  20. Dave W Says:

    Mellon balling?

  21. flick Says:

    LAWL MELON BALLING. that’s too hilarious Robbo.
    also Julian: Bombay roll makes it sound sexy and exotic! like sushi!

  22. kb Says:

    boobie boinking is one of my new favorite terms. and eh figleaf, I do consider it can be foreplay, or after you’ve had all the manual stimulation you wanted. no, I agree, this will never do as much for me as intercourse does, but not everything has to all the time.

  23. courtney Says:


    melon balling

    that’s awesome

  24. Rae Says:

    Hmmm, I never had a problem with the term “Titty Fuck”. It sounds sexy and cute equally, fun! Lol, but if I had to think fo something else, that doesn’t sound weird like “Making love to one’s bosom” or the crude “T.F” then I’d probably reccomend, “Brast bone” with sounds more 8th grade biology, maybe, “Breast Boning” or “Mamory Massage”? (Which also, sounds more like an erotic massage, I give up!)
    Deal with titty fuck, or don’t do it all!!

  25. Dana Says:

    Grab em both, squeeze and stroke the sausage. hey titty F***, Lol.

  26. carrieanne Says:

    I have always heard it referred to as the “pearl necklace”…. although it might be a little old school, I have always found it tasteful :)

  27. Shasta Says:

    The bigger question is, “Do Guys Like this (whatever the term) and Why.” I had a guy try it once, but there never was enough friction, despite my C-cup. It turned out to be foreplay for him and we finished things off the old fashioned way.

    Or is this a drunk/let’s try it once thing, as evidenced by Ben?

  28. red Says:

    Shasta, I’ve often used it as a “this is taking so long – she can’t take it anymore” way to finish things off.

  29. Amiral Says:

    In French, we call it “cravate de notaire” (“Notary’s Tie”).

    “Collier de perles” (“Pearl Necklace”) is actually the act of ejaculating on a woman’s cleavage.

    Hope this helps…

  30. cristina Says:

    I’ve always heard it called “boob love” or “chest love”.

  31. Dave Says:

    Bosom Bang works for me !!

  32. Madison Says:

    I love Bree’s suggestion-NIPPLE NOOKIE!!ROFTL I enjoy it,regardless of it’s name! The “lollipop” technique for each stroke heightens the pleasure for him as well!

  33. lolalot Says:

    Mound humping?

  34. Gert Says:

    Paizuri, if you’re Asian.

  35. Loren Says:

    The whole idea of “titty fucking” to me just sounds… so weird! I can’t even get over the idea of a female actually wanting to participate in it. I just don’t understand how I would. When it comes to males, I understand how they get pleasured out of it. What could be better then sticking your dick in and out of a tight space over and over? But what about the woman?? Other then the fact that you know you’re pleasuring your man, there is no other satisfaction a woman could receive out of this strange act.

    I’ve dated men that have wanted to do it, but I always refused. I thought it to be ridiculous, and would just laugh at them hysterically. I am in a commited relationship now with a man I care about dearly, so I suppose if he REALLY wanted to do it, I would do it just to make him happy.

    Just someone please tell me what is it like?! Haha.

  36. Eric Says:


  37. Bill Says:

    Mamary intercourse

  38. disks ba-da-bing Says:

    “Mammary intercourse” is the proper name

  39. Fred Says:

    What about flopdoodle.

  40. Abednego Says:

    I am hoping that by responding to Lorens request that I am not crossing the line but……
    OMG!!! I had to laugh when I read “fun for the fella” I had to laugh cuz I really thought it was all about ME and what’s fun for Me!!! A great lubrication is the key. We choose to use coconut oil. It comes in the form of a solid but melts as soon as you put it in your hand. (This is actually a nutritional food source that is recommended daily. How you choose to ingest it is totally up to you! Lol.) I find it easiest if the man is leaning back on the couch and you are on top. The quick of it is as he is thrusting your are controlling the greats and as you are squeezing you need to do a total massaging motion where you are actually rubbing over our nipples which is so stimulating you can create your own leasure. I have actually orgasmed while doing this. Yes, the satisfaction of seeing how hard he gets is powerful. The total control we have in his pleasure in itself

  41. Abednego Says:

    I got cut off….. Must a been taking too long to answer. Lol

    As I was saying…. The total control we have in his pleasure in itself is very erotic. Each experience we have is what we make of it. I’ve been married over 20 years and we’re still in the honeymoon phase!!!

  42. Abednego Says:

    Okay. Overkill here but I am using an Android and it changes some of my words. Obviously… You are “controlling the Breasts” and not the “greats”. I guess it could be considered ” leasure” but the original word is “pleasure”.

    Try again Loren only this time be selfish about and see just what it can do for you and what you can get out of it!!

  43. Ron Says:


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