We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, once a week, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Help out this reader by posting your answers in the comments section below:
Dear Em & Lo,
I have a question that is something you could maybe open up to your readership: I hate the term “tittie-fuck.” Gah. Skin crawls just writing it. “Making love to one’s bosom” is just ridiculous. Could there possibly be another short-ish term to call this (fun for the fella) act that is neither so glib nor so formal as the former and latter, while retaining some semblance of sexiness? I can’t for the life of me think of one. Help?!?
– Lexically Challenged
Dear L.C.
We have no freakin’ idea — and we’re right there with you, the T.F. term makes our skin crawl. So, dear readers, help us out: What would you call it? Suggestions in the comments section, please…
– Em & Lo
March 17th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Although I sort of enjoy “tittie-fuck” (I don’t know why)
There is always “boob-boning”!
March 17th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Isn’t the T. F. activity how you arrive at the classic “pearl necklace”?
March 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am
What’s wrong with ‘Spanish’?
March 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
In Britain it’s sometimes known as a “Bombay Roll”
March 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Breasturbation?
March 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Boobie boinking
March 17th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Technically (cf Dan Savage) it’s a form of frottage. Yeah, I know; that doesn’t help all that much. [Note:spell check doesn't recognize the word.]
March 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am
In italy they call it “la spagnola” – the spanish (why oh why?).
March 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
a mamerable experiance
March 17th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
breast sex?
March 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
nipple nookie.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
A couple years ago, I came home from a bar really drunk and began to “seduce” my wife, who was already sleeping in bed. Despite my high level of inebriation, it was all going very well — she was slowly waking up and slowly urging me to continue … then more quickly asking me to continue … then desperately demanding I continue …
I started working my way up her body til I was astride her mid-section when, suddenly, mustering the ghost of every drink I’d had that night, proclaimed loudly, “I WANNA FUCK YER BOOBZ!”
Needless to say, I have never lived it down.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
I wouldn’t mind a nicer term for it either, thus far it’s been “you know that thing we did last time… with the… fucking, of the… boobs…? Can we do that again?”
March 17th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
always heard it called a “boob job”
March 17th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
The boob technique
March 17th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Hilary, we’re groaning. And Ben, that’s hilarious. Now we’re determined to find out why the Spanish are associated with this particular act…
March 17th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
I learned it to be “French Fucking” back in the day.
March 17th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
This is another one of those things where I must just be missing something. I’ve done it a couple of times but I think it’s another one of those things that sounds more exotic than it feels. For the man. Last I heard vigorous rubbing of the sternum does nothing all for the recipient. So I figure anyone who wants to do it better be willing to do express his gratitude than say “thanks.” Maybe something with a less Spanish-sounding, more Latin-sounding name. Like cunnilingus.
figleaf
March 17th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Plowing the Valley
March 18th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Mellon balling?
March 18th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
LAWL MELON BALLING. that’s too hilarious Robbo.
also Julian: Bombay roll makes it sound sexy and exotic! like sushi!
March 18th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
boobie boinking is one of my new favorite terms. and eh figleaf, I do consider it can be foreplay, or after you’ve had all the manual stimulation you wanted. no, I agree, this will never do as much for me as intercourse does, but not everything has to all the time.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:25 am
HAHAHAHHA
melon balling
that’s awesome
March 19th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Hmmm, I never had a problem with the term “Titty Fuck”. It sounds sexy and cute equally, fun! Lol, but if I had to think fo something else, that doesn’t sound weird like “Making love to one’s bosom” or the crude “T.F” then I’d probably reccomend, “Brast bone” with sounds more 8th grade biology, maybe, “Breast Boning” or “Mamory Massage”? (Which also, sounds more like an erotic massage, I give up!)
Deal with titty fuck, or don’t do it all!!
March 20th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Grab em both, squeeze and stroke the sausage. hey titty F***, Lol.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I have always heard it referred to as the “pearl necklace”…. although it might be a little old school, I have always found it tasteful
March 21st, 2009 at 10:57 pm
The bigger question is, “Do Guys Like this (whatever the term) and Why.” I had a guy try it once, but there never was enough friction, despite my C-cup. It turned out to be foreplay for him and we finished things off the old fashioned way.
Or is this a drunk/let’s try it once thing, as evidenced by Ben?
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Shasta, I’ve often used it as a “this is taking so long – she can’t take it anymore” way to finish things off.
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
In French, we call it “cravate de notaire” (“Notary’s Tie”).
“Collier de perles” (“Pearl Necklace”) is actually the act of ejaculating on a woman’s cleavage.
Hope this helps…
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’ve always heard it called “boob love” or “chest love”.
March 24th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Bosom Bang works for me !!
March 25th, 2009 at 5:49 am
I love Bree’s suggestion-NIPPLE NOOKIE!!ROFTL I enjoy it,regardless of it’s name! The “lollipop” technique for each stroke heightens the pleasure for him as well!
March 26th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Mound humping?
March 27th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Paizuri, if you’re Asian.
March 28th, 2009 at 9:57 am
The whole idea of “titty fucking” to me just sounds… so weird! I can’t even get over the idea of a female actually wanting to participate in it. I just don’t understand how I would. When it comes to males, I understand how they get pleasured out of it. What could be better then sticking your dick in and out of a tight space over and over? But what about the woman?? Other then the fact that you know you’re pleasuring your man, there is no other satisfaction a woman could receive out of this strange act.
I’ve dated men that have wanted to do it, but I always refused. I thought it to be ridiculous, and would just laugh at them hysterically. I am in a commited relationship now with a man I care about dearly, so I suppose if he REALLY wanted to do it, I would do it just to make him happy.
Just someone please tell me what is it like?! Haha.
March 28th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
breasturbate.
March 26th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Mamary intercourse