My relationship is much like the poster’s and I couldn’t be happier. We don’t Facebook stalk our crushes, but we talk about the hot people in our lives and if we’d sleep with them. We’re not bisexual, but we find both women and men attractive.

Now, I’m committed to my boyfriend and he’s committed to me. We both know that if we didn’t want to be in a relationship with one another, we wouldn’t be. Cheating is petty and if we didn’t see value in our current relationship, we’d just break up.

There’s nothing wrong with being open and free with your significant other if you both feel comfortable having a relationship that is so honest. Obviously lack of honesty kills MANY relationships, so why should couples who are very honest be looked down upon? Sure, this method can kill its fair share of relationships as well, but if both people are comfortable with it, why should you judge them?

The answer: You shouldn’t.

I know that some of you “could never entertain the thought of being with someone else”. And that’s fine. But here’s the cold, hard reality: There are tons of people better looking than your boyfriend. There are even some people that will have very similar personalities and interests. Some of you can’t be attracted to other people when you’re committed, and some (like me) can. Yeah, I crush on a guy I work with. I think he’s very attractive, smart, and totally compatible with me.

I’ve told my boyfriend about him and he laughed. Then he told me about the hot new girl he works with.

Do we discuss them more than we discuss each other’s feelings and interests? Nope.

And that’s why our relationship is strong.

Toodles.

“of course other people in the world are attractive, but I truly don’t ever think of other men sexually while I’m in a happy committed relationship.”

However, I don’t deny how Kristine (and many other commentors) said that obviously people are going to think other people are hott, great looking, etc. And also, I think most people can agree that “cheating” on someone is touching, like actually kissing or sex etc. so things like thinking and talking about it ISNT cheating. Which is what I feel Kristine is trying to say. And that in her relationships, she is comfortable to get that close and still be okay. However, for me, this is not the case. I feel as if thinking, wanting, talking about is too close to actually cheating, and it makes me jealous etc. because like as Jay Jay stated:

“in my mind, that you admitting that you considered it a possibility and what is to keep you from MAKING it a possibility next time?”

I guess that is my best defense, that what Is holding you back if you’ve gone so far as that? Especially if you’re boyfriend is okay with you going that far. To me, saying that someone is hot or good looking isn’t an issue for me, because you’re merely stating the obivous. However, going farther than that, making it a personal thing like ” i’d sleep with him” or have a personal crush, to me is going to far.

Being that honest and that comfortable I suppose is healthy if you can control it, which is one of the fears I would have if my boyfriend ever spoke anything like what Kristine and her boyfriend say. but if she can handle it and that is what makes them happy then as they say, to each their own. Addressing the needs they have I suppose is truely better than hiding them away. However, like in the quote I first stated, I am so in love with my boyfriend that I don’t even think about other guys, because there is no nature in me to desire more than the man who completes me.

MY parents are exactly like that, my dad always jokes that my mom has a boyfriend, vice versa and they always talk about who they’d leave each other for. Believe me, my parents are madly in love, they’ve been mared for 30+ years, they aren’t staying together for my sister and I because we left the house close to 3 years+. My parents trust each other and them talking about their crushes and so on, it’s just a fantasy. It’s completely healthy.

Women and men have to realize that being insecure ruins a relationship.