When it comes to revenge after a breakup (and if you’re the dumpee, you know you want it), there are two approaches: the high road and the low road. A breakover is all high road — it’s the kind of revenge that benefits you, rather than directly harming your ex, bodily or otherwise. Join a gym where you can literally work off all your anger and aggression in pursuit of a hot body to make your dumper eat their heart out; the idea of Fuckface seeing you in the best shape of your life will actually inspire you to work out longer and harder (listening to the Flashdance soundtrack also helps). Did your ex nag you for six months to quit smoking? So quit now. Take that, Fuckface! Get a new haircut, go shopping for a hot new wardrobe, and make a shitload of money either by winning the lottery or finally getting your own dance-studio business off the ground. Splurge on a high-end sex toy for you or your next partner and put the sex you had with Fuckface to shame. Ha!
For more on breakups, check out BUH BYE: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped.