Comments on: Wise Guys: Is Sex on a First Date a Relationship Killer?

By: Girlygirl

Girlygirl — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:14:12 +0000

Ok so im getting very different answers here. I feel the main issue is people/media make it seem like if u dont wait a year to have sex with whoever your dating your a whore/it wont last. But who can really decide when is right without knowing the relationship or the people in it? Ive been dating someone for over 4 weeks and we had sex after me being abstinent for sometime. It just felt right. It doesnt mean we’ll last eternity but it also doesnt mean its doomed for failure. NOW for the 1st date thing: i dont think one should, more for health risks than a relationship. But unless u know the person prior to the date, i doubt it would go anywhr besides maybe another 1 night stand

By: Lori

Lori — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:04:16 +0000

There is nothing wrong with sex on the first date. You can have fun and get off and it can even lead to a LTR. I’ll never forget when I dated this one guy for 2 months before we had sex and it was the worst I’ve ever had. Turned out he had a premature ejaculation problem and that’s not something that came up in conversation. We tried having sex on several occasions but we just weren’t sexually compatible. Sex is important and we broke up. Since then, I’ve had several relationships come out of sex on the first date.

By: Judy

Judy — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:45:35 +0000

My thoughts exactly Marissa. People lie, especially in the heat of the moment.
Michael-really no offense-but how can you say that you trust this new woman when you BARELY KNOW HER AT ALL!!! It takes at least a year to really get to know someone. I mean come on.

By: Marissa

Marissa — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:32:29 +0000

Honesty is the key, however, not everyone is going to be honest about their intentions when you first meet them and some men will just downright lie and tell you what you want to hear. So far, I have only had a small percentage of men be honest in admitting they only want NSA sex, the vast majority of men have lied to me and then to make it even more difficult you have the men who were interested in a LTR but have now deemed you easy and decided you are no longer LTR material.

By: Michael

Michael — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 16:44:45 +0000

this is such a silly debate. I’m 33, and I’ve had sex on first dates multiple times. there is some validity to the arguments that a guy can run BS and say he’ll call and he doesn’t, but I also take the line of ‘do I really want to do this’ BEFORE I actually do it. I was with a wonderful woman last night. Our date was at 7, it was romantic, we both looked great, and after another club we went to my house together (2 cars – first time meeting, public place, yada yada.)

it was probably 1 or 2 when it happened. like three times then, and then another couple times early this morning before I walked with her to her car outside. (Men: there IS a ‘walk of shame’ – do it with her!) I only wanted to sleep next to her (actual sleep), but she said something that made me throw all caution to the wind. she told me she’d become more attached if we did it (and we both knew we wanted eachother by then). I can get all the sex I want, but it’s not LTR sex. I know, already, that she is LTR material and I WANTED her to become more attached. we all have our reasons for doing it or not, but really the advice of value that I’ve heard from a few of you commenters is that – ascertain with certainty what direction this man/woman wants things to go afterwards.

my longest relationship was with a woman I married. we had sex, hell, within an hour of meeting eachother. my second longest made me wait for months, and I don’t have good memories from that relationship anymore. my third longest, she slept with me and stayed over, first night. and I can state to everyone, now, that I’ll be talking to my date from last night again after this crazy, wonderful night. I slept with her because I wanted a LTR and she is a woman I’m willing to try it with….but I wouldn’t have done it, if she hadn’t told me that she would become more attached. Truth wins.

Genuine honesty. make sure it’s there, whether through attitude, dates. whatever. but you must trust your date/partner. I trusted her, I believed her, and we ended an amazing evening with amazing sex. we already have made plans to see eachother again, because while we both love sex, we both also want someone to do things with.

I think it works, to everyone out there. but only for certain people… be honest, all of you men AND women. honesty is the key to happiness, and often enough that same key fits your partner’s chastity belt.

By: Sam

Sam — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 01:55:05 +0000

Vivian, would love to help you but you should consider typing properly. It’s a bit difficult to understand what you are trying to say.

By: Judy

Judy — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 16:43:11 +0000

And let’s not forget that going home with a virtual stranger can get you beaten/raped/and or killed. Some folks are truly clueless.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:33:57 +0000

I totally agree with John

By: Nancy

Nancy — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 12:30:16 +0000

I believe that waiting and really taking the time to get to know someone before you get involved with them is always the best way to go.
Sleeping with someone on the first date or the same day you met them is a definite deal breaker. I say this because my ex even though we are not together always calls me for advice or to vent (he’s 51) and he just yesterday told me that he met a chick on new years eve at a party, she slept with her at the party, he’s still now two weeks later is hooking up with her but referred to her as a simple “booty call” and he has also been pursuing her friends who were also at the party.
This is a pattern he has gotten into, not the first time he has done something like this and in all cases he refers to them as hos, sluts, booty calls and he hooks up with the homegirls. And this new years chick doesnt have a clue and really thinks he likes her, she’s already brought him to her place and he’s comfortable but talks dirt about her.
Just be careful girls who you invite in your life, get to try to really get to know someone, it is really true what others have said if a guy is just as willing to sleep with you on the first night that is a red flag. My ex says he knows he’s putting his life and the people he sleeps with at risk but thats a risk he’s willing to take. Don’t trust that the person you sleep with cares about you. I was lucky to have spotted the red flags with him but because i took my time to get to know him and avoid the things he does to these other women. Just be careful

By: john

john — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 06:49:49 +0000

I believe if a girl has sex on the first date then she doesn’t care about herself or the one she’s with. And a guy has to ask himself, does she do this often with strange men? She really doesn’t know what she is in for, especially in today’s world. liars ,jerks S.t.d’s Think about what your all saying , this is like playing Russian roulette with your penis. I’m old fashioned and don’t want a girl that has had sex with a lot of men. To me sex on the first date is a deal breaker for sure .