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Wise Guys: Can I Ask My Boyf to Buy Me Plugs?

Tue, May 19, 2009

Advice, Wise Guys

tamponsphoto by lindsayloveshermac

Straight Single Guy (Max): Ok. So there you are. Your girlfriend, who may already be SUPER cranky, has run out of tampons. At this point, I can dig the need to “go to the store” and get a breath of fresh air, but who is stupid enough to tell their girlfriend NO when they’re in such a state? MAN UP and buy the girl her tampons. I understand that a lot of guys are grossed out by a girl’s period, but seriously, get over it. How can you be so opposed to a product that keeps your girlfriend’s sacred nether regions from looking like a viking battlefield? (That was a little extreme, but you know what I’m saying.) I myself am an advocate of just putting a towel or two on the bed. In fact, I’ve always found it frustrating when girls won’t have sex on their period because they’re too self conscious about the blood. Assuming you take measures to protect against the transmission of STDs, what’s the problem with a little vampire role playing?

Gay Committed Guy (Mark): If he won’t do that for you, let him figure out how to suck his own damn cock.

Straight Married Guy (Ben): He HAS to get you tampons if one of two criteria are met: 1) you’ve been a couple for three-and-a-half years* OR 2) you’ve gone through some traumatic experience together. If it’s case number one, then you are right to require him to get over himself and pick up tampons at the store. He can hide the tampons in beer and magazines, with a whole load of groceries if he likes – coping mechanisms are fine. If he loves you at this point, he loves ALL of you, including your period. If it’s case number two and you’ve endured some kind of trauma together (getting in a bad car crash, terminating a pregnancy, being held hostage on a speeding bus that can’t go below 60 miles per hour or else it blows up)  – even if it’s in your first month as a couple – he should do anything you ask, no question, whenever you want, forever. Because after something like that, things get put in perspective real quick.

*Note from Em & Lo: For the record, dudes, we think 3.5 years is about 3 years too long to be feeling squeamish about buying tampons for someone you’ve been seeing seriously.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Ben, a writer and artist living in Los Angeles who runs AdultParlorGames.com. Our Committed Gay Guy, Mark, is a writer and teacher in NYC and our Single Straight Guy, Max, is a recent college grad in New England — both asked us to file them under “shy.” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

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24 Responses to “Wise Guys: Can I Ask My Boyf to Buy Me Plugs?”

  1. daisy Says:

    Umm… I’ve gone into a pharmacy before and bought condoms so I kinda think that any man o’ mine should have the cajones to buy a box of cotton sticks. Straight Married Guy Ben: Three and a half years?? Really??? Man up, yo!

  2. KJ Says:

    Honestly I consider it a badge of honor. Probably a little weird, but I have no problems doing it because you get a reaction out of pretty much any man or woman that notices you in a store.

    Every guy there will know you have a woman at home. Let’s face it we will never ever ever be buying plugs for our mothers and sisters. Ever. That’s just plain creepy and I am bothered that thought even crossed my mind. So ya puff up your chest and receive the unspoken gestures of “Your the man”. Any guy that laughs at you take satisfaction in that he probably hasn’t been laid in his life.

    Every woman will know that you have a woman at home. They will see that you aren’t afraid to take care of your woman. I really can’t go to much more into this without sounding like a complete pig so I won’t. There are enough stories out there about how men appear more desirable to the other sex when they are taken.

  3. Nick Says:

    badge of honor indeed.
    it’s proof that you are getting laid regularly.

    on a serious note. Hell yes you can ask a guy to pick them up. It would be inexcusable to to say no, however, most guys will still feel uncomfortable.

  4. allie Says:

    “How can you be so opposed to a product that keeps your girlfriend’s sacred nether regions from looking like a viking battlefield? ”

    That is pure genius, but the gay guy said it best.

    I look at it this way in my own relationship, my guy asks me to get him baby powder when his parts get irritated after wearing an athletic cup, I feel as if its no different if I ask him to pick up some tampons for me.

  5. Leo Says:

    I’d have to say Max hit the issue dead on. I could never understand why anyone would be embarrassed about getting getting ‘plugs’ for their girlfriend. What, people are going to look at you and think you’re in a relationship with a woman? Oh noes, god forbid! That woman also has womanly things happen to her just like every other woman? Good god no! You’re the kinda gent who couldn’t care a dingo’s kidney whether anyone sees you?! *Gasp!*

  6. Johnny Says:

    Pretty uptight not to buy your GF tampons.

    I go by the same principle I apply when shopping at an adult store – “Why should I be ashamed to buy this? They’re the ones who sell it.”

  7. Elle Says:

    3.5 years, for real?

  8. dysgrace Says:

    Don’t forget to specify the make and model, because the last thing you need when you are leaking all over the place is a super-absorbency scary-cardboard-applicator drugstore-generic tampon. (Although those are really good for camping-trip first-aid kits, when someone else is bleeding in a non-routine way all over the place.)

  9. figleaf Says:

    Hey, the squeamishness can go both ways. I remember just standing at a airport gift-shop counter during a layover in Charlotte, N.C. when my then-partner asked for a box of OBs. The clerk looked at me, flushed beet red, snatched the box off the shelf behind her, whisked it under the counter where she shuffled it into a little paper bag and stuffed it into my partner’s bag… before ringing it up.

    So I admit I was more nervous than curious about what might happen when I went out to buy some on my own. The answer, of course, was nothing happened at all — turns out tampons are just tampons.

    Besides, haven’t you heard? Touching your *wife’s or girlfriend’s* purse, buying tampons makes you… gay. :*)

    Also, what dysgrace said: confirm which brand, size, and absorbency she prefers since it makes a difference.

    figleaf

    p.s. do many people think of buying condoms should be something only men do?

  10. matthias Says:

    Oh no! The sheer burden of… going to buy something at the store! I can’t! It’s just too mighty a task!

  11. KHM Says:

    In a designated caring relationship, or if she has ever sucked your dick, or even been forced to sleep in the wet spot, you are thereby required to purchase her feminine products. I agree with all who claim it to be a badge of honor. In fact, you should not only purchase the tampons or pads, but should also bring her something thoughtful and unexpected from the store as well … a silly magazine, a chocolate bar, a bottle of wine … something that says “I know you are uncomfortable right now, so let me ease it a bit.” You will not only receive from every female around the kind of doe-eyed attention also garnered from strolling a cute baby or walking a new puppy in the park, but will also get the fuck of your like once your girlfriend feels up to it … until she is, she might even suck your dick harder

  12. daisy Says:

    Figleaf,

    Just in case your question was in regards to what I said in my comment:
    I don’t think buying condoms should be something only men do. What I mean is that if I can walk in to a store a purchase a somewhat “private” product that is specific to a certain gender’s genitals, then I don’t think it’s too much to ask for my partner to do the same.

  13. Johnny Says:

    Oh you wouldn’t believe how often women say, “do you have a condom?” rather than, “I have a condom…”

    Last little lady I went home with was like, “whadda ya mean, you didn’t bring a condom!” I though, “It’s your house, where you bring dudes home to! Whadda ya mean you don’t have any?”

  14. Temple Says:

    I’ve never really understood why guys don’t take the position, “I’ve got a woman waiting for me at home, nyah, nyah, nyah! And thank god she’s not pregnant!”

  15. Loren Says:

    I’ve never understood what the problem is. I just about freaked the clerk out once buying a few packages on sale but I don’t see why. Women use such things, that’s that. If you’re living with one and happen to be the one doing the shopping that day of course you should get them!

  16. m Says:

    And if you bring women home, it is a decent practice to keep some in your bathroom in the event her flow starts early.

  17. Swami Says:

    First of all, ALL bachelors should keep a package under their sink for guests. End of discussion on that one.

    Some guys -like- the battlefield after the Vikings have unleashed their fury. Seriously — it’s not that uncommon. I don’t just mean tolerate… I mean like it. Ask around, and you’ll probably get denials unless the guy is very up-front about his likes.

    KHM talks about ‘easing the pain a bit’. Oral on a woman’s period is that very easing; it’s pure salvation from cramps and related pain. There’s even a song about it: Wolf Moon by Type O Negative.

    (As an aside, I have performed the eating of the strawberry pie on every woman I have ever been with, and have never been refused, but every single one asked me “Are you sure? No, are you REALLY sure?!” before I did her for the first time… It seems two or three confirmations are standard… -laughs-)

  18. Harold Says:

    Grow up guys… if you want to get embarrassed about buying adult diapers, maybe… but tampons and pads, geez…

    And yes, please ask for the specific make and model, and at least one alternate… The array on display is bewildering — I can understand small, medium, large, and thin and mattress — but twenty different kinds and four or five manufacturers… enough! But I think the same about TP as well.

  19. Belle Says:

    I try to avoid making him buy me my tampons, but in the case it should happen and he frowns, all I say is: “you should be *so* happy it’s tampons. Not a pregnancy test.”

  20. Skyler Says:

    If you give him the liberty of banging you, he owes you anyway. ^_^

  21. Alexandria Says:

    I have never and will never ask a guy to buy my tampons. Eww…Nasty… Just no. Condoms I’ll have him buy (I don’t really care if I have to pick them up) but thats because he’s using them too. Not to mention, if you love a guy, really respect him– Why the h-e-double hockey sticks would you put him in such an embaracing situation? Come on! Guys don’t have this problem because their Gender Hygenics is pretty much the same stuff chicks use. For example, what’s a guy gonna send me for?–Toothpaste? Whoo-Hoo…

    Let me tell you what, you can tell when I’m getting ready to break up with a guy when he hits the checkout lane with the industrial sized packages of Maxi-pads and Tampons… Heck, while we’re at it lets through in some Midol and Monistat7 and a couple of pregnancy tests… Go a little nuts…

  22. eva Says:

    personally i think it matters what the female’s opinion on it is and…hint take a picture of the package before you go out so you don;t have to go back….not that i ever sent my love out he just worked at a wall-greens and ended up telling them to do that. In the end it’s polite, but even then females suck it up….if your not dying then get outt your butt, it shouldn’t be embarsing it’s natural. Though i know people who get very ill…then one should be polite and retrieve her some.

  23. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Nope, more than 20 years together and my Man has NEVER bought feminine hygiene articles. He also doesn’t buy condoms, or yeast infection medication for EITHER Of us (yes, I have to buy HIS own little tube of clotrimzole, when he gets “the itches” because he’s too embarrassed.) He doesn’t hold my purse either.

    He has some hang ups. Doesn’t mean he isn’t worth keeping.

    I don’t consider whether or not he buys hygiene articles a lynch pin of our relationship.

    He’d get the wrong kind, anyway. “Hey, these were not only really cheap, but they’re MUCH BIGGER than those flat ones you buy.” As he comes home with the huge box of brick shaped Moddess (with the “tails” and you need to use a sanitary belt) with the nurse on the cover. He actually POINTED these out to me once, while accompanying me to the store. Wow, cheaper AND bigger. And that nurse looks like something out of out of a Madmen wet dream.

    I wonder why the divorce rate is so high, and so many people are alone, and then I see that people are putting value and “meaning” on the wrong damn things in their relationships. :)

  24. Madamoiselle L Says:

    And, no, periods don’t bother him at all. (Just going into a store and buying things like this from strangers, I guess.) He’s the first one, during my period to say,if I am hedging (you know that ONE day, the Great Deluge Day) “C’Mon. Just throw down a towel, and if it bothers YOU, we’ll turn off the light. I couldn’t care less.” LOL!


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