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Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Wed, Jun 17, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

baby_carrotsphoto by ILoveButter

Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist

Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.¬† This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

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706 Responses to “Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me”

  1. Imminent Says:

    I agree with uknown about female circumcision, which is contributes immensely both to a woman’s hygiene and is also the mark of a healthy society that cultivates refinement and civility. We shouldn’t hate women who reject a chode (very short penis) anymore than we should scorn shrewd and well reasoning men who recognize when a girl wishes to give her body over to pleasure and so takes his turn. Just don’t marry! Ha ha!

    Have fun!

  2. some guy Says:

    Women are proving how calus,morally bankrupt and demonic they really are in this thread.Funny how the feminists empower themselves by eviscerating men on this topic endlessly online.Keep continuing to an already out-of-control male suicide rate in america you irresponsible losers you effing make me sick !

  3. John Says:

    God, humans these days…
    Inb4 men start turning to women-bashing arseholes http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1mitex/a_ladys_honest_thoughts_on_penis_size/ (read especially the comment by TigerEyeTurtle who’s 4″ . Yes, fuckin’ 4″ !).

  4. josh Says:

    My wife hates my little penis.4.5.length 4.25 girth.i alow her hve sex with well hung men.she needs to feel like a woman.thats hard to do with a guy that looks like a little boy down there.my little penis is such a turn off to her she has no desire to allow me to enter her

  5. Wilt Says:

    I‚Äôm the proud owner operator of a handsome 5 inch Caucasian penis. 5 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. I perused her with every ounce of my being. I asked, she said yes, we married. I was happy. Sex was sweet, not perfect, but I did not care. Having her in my life made me happy. Not so for her. She strayed. We went to counseling. Size issue was put on the table. She wanted more. Counselor advised. We tried everything. Reconciled. She strayed again. Divorced after 5 years. Hearts at half-mast. Her lover moved into my old house after 30 days. I tail spun down, lost my way, my self confidence gone. I prayed, prayed again, and when I was done, I prayed some more. Two years later, the Calvary finally arrived in the form of a pretty brown eyed woman. She found me and dug me out of the deep pit and never looked back. Trust grew. I rocked her in my arms every night for 6 months. No intercourse. I was scared. She wasn’t. She was right. Ultimately had the best intercourse of my life! She thinks I just say that to make her happy, but it’s true, it’s amazing. Her vagina seems smaller and shallower than my other lovers. I feel like I fill her completely, even to the point where she sometimes asks me to not “thrust so deeply”. Me Tarzan you Jane, I love it. Life is sweet, my Girl is sweet, she made all the difference to me! Once again the world spins in well grease grooves.
    PS
    My ex is single again, Her lover moved on after a year. Still a pretty woman. Any of you well hung men out there should look her up. She has a real nice house.

  6. Fred Says:

    Woa Wilt! looks like having a small penis paid off for you!


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