My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Dear Em & Lo,

About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve.


Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

Do you worry about the size of your package?
“15 Ways to Make the Most of Your Small Penis in Bed”

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721 Comments on "My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me"

26 days 10 hours ago

Ok, I’d been with my husband for 25 years before he passed away in his 30s…I considered him to be of normal size by measurement measures. I could not always get my rocks off and sex was mediocre at best. The man I’m currently dating is small. I figured that the first time I tried to put a condom on him and it fell off (granted, it was a magnum – oops) he lost his confidence and his erection that night and I worried it was all over – in the sack. I was so freaking wrong. Once we got the condom thing figured out, holy hell. Not only did he rock my world, but I lost count after 6-7 times the next time we got together. He definitely knows how to work what he’s got. He’s maybe 5.5″ and not girthy and I’ve yet to not have an orgasm. Multiple ones at that…so there ya go.

1 month 2 days ago

It’s done, women are not satisfied with a small penis but a huge dick is too big. There is no middle ground just unhappy partners until the next man, the cycle repeats.

1 month 19 days ago

Dear Em & Lo,
Suicide is a sin in my religion; one that prevents entry to heaven, but I question the veracity of this interpretation. Do you think that if I commit suicide, God might allow me to go to heaven anyway, owing to the fact that my penis is small? It may sound silly or weird and it’s very real to me that maybe God put men with small penises on earth to test them. I think God might be testing me to see if I realize that my relative smallness makes me evil. If that’s the case, my hope is that by committing suicide I might earn a less painful eternity in hell or, depending on how many underendowed men commit suicide instead of remaining evil, perhaps pergatory. To be honest, I think it works as follows: Let’s assume all guys with small penises are evil. I think this is safe to assume because it is generally accepted (for instance people say nazis, Sadaam Hussein etc had small penises… or like when a man drives dangerously or just generally treats people with disrespect it’s because his penis is small). Given this, maybe a guy with a small penis can better his soul (i.e. make himself less evil) by committing suicide, if and only if he also realized and realizes that if his spiritual worth is equal to the size of his penis as measured in cubic inches. I’m not going to kill myself this month so no need to rush your answer, I’m just curious to know your perspective and your readers’ perspectives on how I should kill myself, or if, perhaps, I’m better off creating deceit on earth (by pretending men with small penises aren’t evildoers, doomed to hell) so as to enjoy life as much as possible before my inevitable eternal damnation. Thoughts?
Hellishly warm regards,

3 months 15 days ago

Jeff I hope you read this. From reading your post you seem like a very kind hearted man. But just as you you said your wife deserves satifaction you deserve satifaction. Now I am good at reading people emotions but from reading your comment you dont sound satified with your wife fucking other men and not wanting to fuck you. I know I am just some random guy on the internet amd my opinion is could mean less to you but i would highly advise getting a divorce do your own sake.

a man who has lost faith in the world.
3 months 15 days ago

I have to say reading the comments I found what I was looking for the harsh truth of women nature. In regards to the women talking about evolutionary biology I agree with you every person deserves satisfaction. But you are telling me my role is to support a child that may or may not be mine, support a spouse that constantly cheats on me with another man, and do all this with dignity. I am sorry that is a role I can not and will not accept to do so would be accepting to live a life of torture as you are saying you have lived if not worse. If the you were a male would accept that life? I would like to think not. It makes it hard to believe in god becuase who would create us to be hard wired this way. I honestly dont even want to have kids anymore out of fear that my son might have a small penis and go through this hell.