Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?
Here for the little people,
Em & Lo
January 16th, 2012 at 11:54 am
I’m a young woman 26 years old. I have only had three boyfriends. My boyfriend right now is alittle short. I am a woman that enjoys getting my cervix stimulated during sex and a 4-5inch penis honestly doesn’t cut it. His thickness is fine but some women like their cervix stimulated and I get amazing orgasums from it. The way I feel is if u not hitting it I can’t have a cervical orgasm during sex so what’s the point of having a penis in me. Clitoral orgasms are the easy ones and can be achieved easy. For people that say most of a women feeling is three inches in is wrong not all women are the same .
January 17th, 2012 at 4:55 am
Im 4-5 inches and wish I had an extra inch or two. Ive been with about 25 girls and about 5 said I was the best they ever had and about there were about 5 that I couldn’t do anything for. I noticed a patter than girls with small wrists seem to like smaller dicks. The best 3 girls all told me they were scared of big dicks and didnt like them cuz they hurt. They were all petite 110 lb girls with small wrists and loved me. My girl I’m with now is always horney for me. We have more sex than with anyone shes been with before because I am always hard and always want it and she is flattered. She has told me that I am the smallest she has been with and the only one that makes or orgasm every time. She wants to marry me and we have sex everyday if not twice or three times a day. That said I still wish I had an extra inch or two just for ego sake and to expand the amount of women I could please, but I figure if you have a smaller dick just find a smaller girl with a small frame. I even had one small asian girl that said I hurt her and she couldnt take all my 5 inches…lol
January 26th, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Well, i’m old enough to be quite experienced on this topic. Though certainly not proud of it, i’ve had 9 partners. Their sizes have been scattered. I would say about 1-3″, 1-4″, 2-5″, 1-6″, 2-7″ and 2-8/9″. I’ve also always been very tight, 1 finger is all I need to feel something. 3/4 of the big guys were very painful due to girth. I would say only 2 of the 9 knew what they were doing. None of them have ever gotten me off. Except my current boyfriend actually gets me so close that i’m just as exhausted as if I had climaxed. He is also about 5″.
I would have to say size does matter, but not in the typical way everyone thinks it does. If women could be less judgmental and more accepting, they would be able to experience what I have in that there’s always a perfect fit, you just have to be willing to try it on. It’s ridiculous that some females have a preference when they don’t even know much about, their
January 26th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
*own bodies. I wish there was a way to fix this for all those “average” or below sized guys. And as for my experiences, bigger guys almost always are lazy in bed! The ones i’ve been with also don’t last as long… talking literally 15 seconds to 2 minutes. It’s also a preference thing though, just like some guys like loose women or flat chests. But it is annoying that females have preferences when then haven’t tried all the flavors, they just think they prefer a certain size.