Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?
Here for the little people,
Em & Lo
March 31st, 2010 at 1:46 am
A gay Abercrombie model?!? That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve ever heard!!!
Goodness, all of the record-breaking posts here point to one thing for me: that the brain is the most important sex organ. A smaller penis just ain’t the problem in 99% of these posts. But the issue obviously has great power over our brains. So much so that I suspect David falsified Steven St. Croix’s Wikipedia page to dispute my claim(on page 1) about his average-sized johnson. It’s painful to read how tortured some guys are about it. And instructional for female sadists.
One more thing: people are HORRIBLE, just HORRIBLE at judging penis size. If all the eyeballed estimates of 8 and 9 inch members were accurate, they’d comprise 1 out of every 3 dicks out there. Don’t believe it.
March 31st, 2010 at 2:05 am
I know, @Dave W, I hesitated to even mention it (the Abercrombie model) because it’s so outlandish, but you never know… Totally agree with you in the other dept., so bizarre for me, as in all the discussions I’ve had with friends over the years about past boyfriends and husbands, penis size is just not on the radar…don’t worry, there are plenty of other ways you guys drive us insane (not in the good way) but I’ve never met anyone who considers penis size anything to talk about. Where we do compare? Foreplay, guys, full stop.
March 31st, 2010 at 12:44 pm
dave,
i ALWAYS knew the human brain was the biggest(and most potent) genital in the human body(it is too bad many woman do not go by a guys intelligence over the size of his cock. but oh well – dopes will be dopes
).
March 31st, 2010 at 12:47 pm
dave,
after the human brain, is the heart. the heart has a lot of control over love and the emotions relating to it. if people would just combine the emotions relating to love and attraction(controlled by the heart), and intelligence(with the brain), just imagine the orgasms women would have with the smallest of cocks(they would cum just upon insertion).
April 5th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I very much enjoy large cocks and have recently started dating someone with a very small penis. It is embarrassing to me to look at it. I know that sounds shallow BUT he is a very good lover. I am amazed at how well he can satisfy my needs, multiple times, with only the tools God gave him.
Ladies, don’t judge a guy simply by his size. Be open-minded and give him a chance to satisfy you – you may be pleasantly surprised. And in my experience, they are usually more eager to satisfy.
ENJOY!
April 5th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
it not only SOUNDS shallow – it IS shallow – EVER SO VERY SHALLOW!!! – put the size of his cock right out of your mind and focus on the guy inside.
April 7th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
i have had a FEW penises in my day. and the vast majority of them have been greatly well endowed in both length and girth. i don’t know exact measurements( who does that?) but they have been huge. and now i am engaged to a man who is much less than. in the beginning i didn’t want to have sex with him and i almost broke up with out of fear of cheating.but after awhile i got used to it and plus he is great in EVERYTHING else. plus he lasts longer than all the others. so just give him a chance and try hard to focus on other aspects of the relationship
April 8th, 2010 at 6:35 am
I think the size and girth is important during sexual intercourse.Majority of the women prefer girth because of what they felt in the outer third of the vagina. I got Lenght and Girth
April 11th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
i just started dating a girl who enjoys both anal and vaginal intercourse(esp anal). we have not had sex yet but she is accustomed to being with well hung men(8″-10″) for both. im only about 6″ and she knows this but tells me i shouldnt worry because i still turn her on in other ways(im sensual and sweet with a freaky side too and by my voice. she says when we have phone sex she loves that im creative and not just freaky, but sensual as well). my concern is since shes accustomed to being with hung men is it possible that even by doing exercises her vagina is already to loose to really tighten up and also does the ass tighten back up if you go a while without having anal. any comments or replies are greatly appreciated.
April 11th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
@paul…I wouldn’t be concerned if I were you. Those of us who’ve had kids would really be in trouble if things didn’t “tighten up” again! The largest penis pales in comparison to a baby’s head… Also, not to doubt your girlfriend, but all of her past lovers have been 8+ inches? That size is only found in 1.5% of the population, from what I’ve read…perhaps she’s overestimating just a bit?
April 18th, 2010 at 12:39 am
Based on my experience size is very important. My current gf tells me bow big I am even though we both know i’M maybe average. Problem is she has told me she has been with multiple black guys
and one guy in college who was huge. It difficult to be mr average but the chemistry and love is awesome.my problem is I can’t cum! Good for her I can f her for hrs and hit her spot. For her to cum but there isn’t enough friction to gt my average dick off. Ok, I’m probably a fraction under 7 long and a fraction over 5 in girth. I’vehit bottom plenty of times with of gf but not this one because she had a historechtomy. When I wear my favorite cock ring my girth gets to about 6 inches and honestly screams in ecstasy. Sooo. Long story short I give her the bigger when I can. Just sucks being born small because chicks do like them big and fat.
April 25th, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Richard,
You know that the heart really doesn’t control love and things related to it right? Love and everything you experience from it all happens in the brain… Every emotion is processed through the brain. I just hope you were kidding…
April 29th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
I have an average sized penis: 5 and a half inches to almost 7 inches depending on how excited I am or nervous I’m not. This girl wants a big penis? Well that probably means she has a huge vagina. I would like to see a tattoo that says how big, pretty, pink, fragrant and good-tasting a girls vagina is. But depending on how much I like a girl, I can look past a lot of their physical features that I might not consider perfect. If I were this guy, and I knew this is how she felt, I would move on and look for a more mature and complex women.
April 29th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
OMG! I just read these posts! I was going to go out with a black girl next week-Fuck that! Not with a 5 and a half inch dick! I did not know girls were so hung up on size! yikes!
May 1st, 2010 at 8:48 am
Hi gal,size does not matter in a relationship.What matters is love.Do not be misled by your ex’s size.Men are made different just as everyone is made in his/her own way(tall/short/dark/coloured/white/green/red/handsome/urgly/beautiful etc)but what is important is simply love(how you handle each other)Stop dreaming please.I hope your mindset is converted to a realistic gal!
May 1st, 2010 at 8:55 am
Young gal you ought to be mature in your thinking.Tell your mind the foolowing:
“This is the right penis for me the Lord has provided”And get serious with business immediately.Stop the sarcatic language you are using.He did not make that penis himself.It’s God who made it for him.That is what is suitable for him.As long as it is able to perform as expected.Men with big penis are few if anything.Food for thought!
May 1st, 2010 at 9:00 am
I would be worried if you said he cannot erect or enjaculate and not the size of his penis please.Start thinking differently.Unless maybe your vagina is abnormally big,then you need to see the Vaginalogist for counselling and physiotherapy.If possible adjustment to a better size.Good day
May 1st, 2010 at 9:05 am
In africa ,sometimes men use herbs to enlarge their penis.If you persit that you want a big thing,please get back to me so that arrangements are made for your boy friend.I can help him free of charge.But I will not be responsible for any damage that may cause to your bf.Contact me I can be of great help
May 1st, 2010 at 10:32 am
But what is “small” anyway?
12-15 cm is average, and they work just fine!!!!
May 3rd, 2010 at 12:52 pm
I recently met a guy who i thought i was madly in love with, untill i got into a little rendezvous with him and i felt his penis, it really put me off him, now i know everybody is saying that its shallow to think this but, i just cannot get over the fact that he has got a little willy, the length and width is really small. they say that sex is quite important in a relationship, so the size must matter aswell! i dont know if i can meet up with this guy again as all i can think is small pecker, i have to seem a little bit interested, but i am going to let this guy fade away as theres no way he can satisfy me with that, length is about 4in and the width is about 2in!
May 8th, 2010 at 1:47 am
alright enough talk that men are shallow. women are equally shallow too!
May 10th, 2010 at 5:57 am
I would advice to put your thoughts into having a satisfying relationship. I had a bf who was over 8″ which ended now the current is five and gives me such electrifying f. I just long to be with him. Give the guy a chance, go with a set mind to have a good time and leave the tape out. You would be surprised that size doesnt matter, just give your vigy time to get the elastic back
May 17th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Seriously Ladies ?!? Any mature “woman” knows that very few women come to orgasm by penetration alone anyways. Sorry guys, but it’s true! Many, if not most women require clitoral stimulation to have an actual orgasm. So, speaking from experience and being with an “average” man myself, why don’t you try to connect on a more emotional level, teach him how to “please” you first or in another way and look past the size of a man’s penis. The old saying is true…it’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion in the ocean !
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:17 pm
“we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit”
I come to this website the first time, this sentence impressed me much, cause I seldom hear female advicer would know about it.
It is ture, an experience woman knows how to pretent orgasm, an experience man knows how to pretent under the average, cause he might just get do with others for three hours before come back home.
but talk about the size, we did have to think about it, it depends the female’s vegina, if she is a double larger than the averageg, i thought she better post ad to get an 8″, or if you are just average, then 8″ might make you unconfortable.
for my experience, I thought size is not the most important part, if you are in deep love with your partner, you might get your orgasm before the intercourse, it is ture, an experiencse lover can make his partner have 7 times orgsam even with an average penis in 15 minutes.
June 5th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
I was with Mr 8″ for years. I am now with Mr 5″ and so much happier. Maybe because when I talk about a guy’s package, I am talking about his heart and mind and what he does with what he has.
Physical attributes are no match for a guy who wants you and tells and shows you how much he wants you.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
I have had several relationships with very well-endowed men. My current bf isnt large and at first i was worried but he has ended up being a the best lover I have ever had. he takes him time – can go for hours and always makes my needs a priority. there are also positions that are much better with him. i can honestly say that larger size does not make it better. finding a man who cares for you and is a considerate and creative lover is so much better.
June 30th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Speaking only about the physical act and leaving out the emotional for a moment, my experiences with average/below-average sized men have not been near as explosive as the men who were average/above-average in size.
However, keep in mind ladies that each man and woman are different and when certain pieces of the puzzle fit together, no matter the size of either party, explosive doesn’t even begin to describe the result.
Woman are visual creatures too and we evaluate penis size like men assess a womans weight. No one is more shallow than the other.
July 2nd, 2010 at 2:31 am
A big penis is not always that great, i know, my penis is just on 15 inches long, yes 15 and it is 8 inches + around the girth and when it is erect it is hard as a rock,BUT this is not always good as young ladies are scared it will hurt them, to tell you the truth i do not have sex that often anymore because of it being so large i wish it was smaller, some older ladies like it but they are hard to find for me, so all those that want a larger penis i say be happy with what you have. Thank you
July 14th, 2010 at 11:34 pm
My bf is really well endowed.. He’s almost an 8″. He’s my only one ever though, but he’s so sexy to me. I love his penis
Takes up the space in my mouth and self beautifully! But I’d say a cool girl wouldn’t worry about size!
July 19th, 2010 at 3:19 am
Hi, aikenv,
8″is a nice size i was 8″ when i was 13 or there abouts, my Dad used to say how lucky i was, but as you see from my last post i am not.
My oversize ugly penis has ruined my life, can’t get a girfriend, well i can get them but when we go to have and then have sex i can see just how uncomforable it is for them
My last girlfriend was 49 i am 22, she has had a lot of sex in her life and she could accommodate me quite well, not completely but a fair bit, in the end i think it even got too much for her even.
Sometimes i feel like killing myself because of this monster as i cant see a future of me with a nice young girl.
So once again anyone thinking of wanting a bigger penis or those wanting to buy things to make it bigger i say Don’t.
July 20th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I’m sorry but I prefer well endowed men – anything over 8 inches. And, I like them uncircumcised and have good girth.
I suppose I’ve been spoiled because many of the men I was with in my teen were well hung (some VERY well hung black guys) and now that’s what I like, prefer and seek out.
I think girth is most enjoyable for a girl, thickness stretches the walls of my pussy and intensifies the sexual sensations. But, boy! when those big boys go deep, hard and fast into me, I’m in sexual euphoria.
July 21st, 2010 at 1:02 pm
@Joe, you are going to be a great hubby one day. Keep up the positive thoughts, it worked for me–I get married in 45 days, and I’m 27.
July 21st, 2010 at 4:30 pm
i beg to differ im having that problem right now just broke up with my ex of 2 years he had a really big dick i enjoyed the sex very much, now i feel like im down grading .. dont feel like i can be pleased sexually as much as i was with him! sex is so gooooooD!!!
July 22nd, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Study after study shows that the average penis length is 5-6 inches. It’s funny how many guys imagine they have 8,9, 10 or more. Either they don’t know how to use a ruler, or are just lying. They try to include their balls!
Ladies – if the guy says 8, then its 6. If he says 6, then is probobaly 4, and so on!
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Well Shane, i wish i could say i was 8″and only be 6″ instead of saying i am 15 ” and i am 15″, I get this “Your Bullshiting” thing all the time until i drop it out, then on i get funny looks, try wearing shorts when you have a piece like that it just is not a nice look, but like i said before no Lady wants that size Penis in her.
It is so serious for me it is not funny, by the way i am not black either.Thanks
July 25th, 2010 at 7:37 am
FYI: I have been married twice and had two serious boyfriends. I have also had a few men that I have played around with. My first husband was average, he was a minute man though and I never reached orgasm with him. I was young and a virgin and knew nothing about sex. Then I had a boyfriend for 9 months that was small. He lasted but I could still never reach arousal because I never felt anything. Then I met this guy who was packing it, above average to say the least and oh yeah, he lasted. Both things made sex amazing and our relationship lasted 3 years on just sex. Eventually I decided I wanted someone financially secure though. Then I met my current husband. Above average but doesnt last very long. I rarely reach orgasm. So…I think it’s a combination of size and how long he lasts!
July 26th, 2010 at 1:03 am
oh boy!! it’s never the size that matters lol. the ACTION should speak louder and believe me you will get into orgasm more than the size itself. explore the average sized & lead your new bf to your liking. you will definitely ask for more if he can perform orally better than imagining what’s in you.
August 8th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
If you decide to stay with him, please don’t let him know you have size issues, it is really a bad distraction. I have had women tell me all my life how big my cock is (7 3/4 long, very thick) but when my current girlfriend mentioned when talking about past lovers whom she felt had big cocks (she said it in a way that made me feel she didn’t think mine was big), it left me insecure for the first time since my teens.
It’s bad to say, but we men are super self-conscious about the perception of our penis size. This girl made me self-conscious even though she is so tight (even though she uses butt-plugs and kegal toys daily)that I always struggle to get my cock inside her. That feeling was not eased by her frequent, multiple, squirting orgasms, gagging issues or anything rational.
It took time, plus a day when she was giving me head from a point I was totally flaccid until erect, at which point she said “amazing”,to kinda get over it. Please, be gentle…
August 10th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Wow,more online p*nis propaganda.The d!ck issue has been completely beaten to death.The facts of the matter are that the average is 5-7.(race regardless) Any reputable medical journal will tell you this.Furthermore,as a woman i see these topics as reverse-sexism directed at men.All of these get bigger infomercials,pornography etc..no wonder men have a complex or hangup..go figure.
My personal belief is people get brave when they get on the web and say all kinds of things that would most likely cost them big time in the real word.Being women we have been subjected to unrealistic beauty standards for years through various mediums,so we should be sensitive to this kind of propaganda tripe.Besides i think its even worse on this issue being directed at guys because the focus is on 1 bosy part,the most private part of a mans body..so to me to make a deal of what a guy’s size is,is just plain sick and terribly hurtful.Just my 2 cents,thanx
August 17th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
my penis is just 4 inches.
i was during many years troubled by this fact.
But since i got married and i saw how my wife reaches orgasms and is fully satisfied, i don’t worry now at all.
I consider myself normal.
I went with three other women just to see…
two were satisfied the third a little.
I feel ojay.
August 17th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Okay this sounds really silly but
When me and my boyfriend first had a fumble I was immediately worried that he was not going to be able to make me orgasm. He was just 5 inches and my ex had been 7.5.
However… after a few sessions i swear he has grown (he even said it so myself). With regular sex and less inhibitions you may just find yourself a very very well endowed man. Oh and by the way, he still made me orgasm like i never had before on our first session.
Hope it helps xx
August 21st, 2010 at 4:30 pm
well. first I think I will be single for life. How sad for me. This whole topic is guite disturbing I mean shit crap shit. I am just dealing with fucking (E D) and you girls want it to be like 40 million feet long. shit crap shit. Well first I thought about this for like for weeks and a day or two. So I looked into the blue pill. ok I now can now jack off successfully at least “Dude” is at attention. However I dont like the side affects. so I try Cialis. Thats better. Then I thought as I enjoyed my long lost friend “Dude” ok while in waitng. Bigger is better. Prehaps this is why they (the hot gourgeous women) hate me. It could not be that I am poor, out of shape and like 49 years old. Please (stop laughing) I am laying it out here. Anyway I see this gaget. I think I will try, called FastSize. So I get it all the while I hope know one finds out as this is awkward. bordering on sissy. After 6 months it is going well however I still have not found well Mrs Rock Myworld but I feel more confident. I never had like a complaint in the past but reading blogs can mind fuck a person. Just a little TMI Love Me and “Dude”
August 22nd, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Size matters – in your head. If you THINK you’ll only be satisfied with a large penis, then that will be true for YOU. If you think a penis of almost any size will be fine, it’s just a matter of emotions, confidence, and experimentation, then you’ll be fine.
It’s all in your head, ladies and gentleman. And I’m not talking about the one covered by your pants.