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Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Wed, Jun 17, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

baby_carrotsphoto by ILoveButter

Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..

Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.¬† This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

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705 Responses to “Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me”

  1. Imminent Says:

    I agree with uknown about female circumcision, which is contributes immensely both to a woman’s hygiene and is also the mark of a healthy society that cultivates refinement and civility. We shouldn’t hate women who reject a chode (very short penis) anymore than we should scorn shrewd and well reasoning men who recognize when a girl wishes to give her body over to pleasure and so takes his turn. Just don’t marry! Ha ha!

    Have fun!

  2. some guy Says:

    Women are proving how calus,morally bankrupt and demonic they really are in this thread.Funny how the feminists empower themselves by eviscerating men on this topic endlessly online.Keep continuing to an already out-of-control male suicide rate in america you irresponsible losers you effing make me sick !

  3. John Says:

    God, humans these days…
    Inb4 men start turning to women-bashing arseholes http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1mitex/a_ladys_honest_thoughts_on_penis_size/ (read especially the comment by TigerEyeTurtle who’s 4″ . Yes, fuckin’ 4″ !).

  4. josh Says:

    My wife hates my little penis.4.5.length 4.25 girth.i alow her hve sex with well hung men.she needs to feel like a woman.thats hard to do with a guy that looks like a little boy down there.my little penis is such a turn off to her she has no desire to allow me to enter her

  5. Mindy Says:

    Funny you mentioned size. I was just having a pint with your new boy friend, a dear old friend, and he mentioned that your vagina seemed loose and cavernous compared to his last girlfriend. He was at a loss as to what he should do. The thought of getting involved with a loose vagina is scary, I mean it’s probably not going to get any tighter. What if it’s not the only the looseness, but what if it’s bottomless!!!! What if one of those pendulous labia lips catches while he is thrusting and gets pulled into the vagina, oh my!!!! His last girlfriend was Asian, no labia so to speak, and he could barley get a finger in her with out 30 minutes of foreplay! The things she could do by just squeezing him were amazing. In the right position he could actually bounce off her cervix, enjoyed tapping out Morse code, SOS. I told him it wasn’t his fault, how could he have known, I mean it’s not like a woman’s cooch tightness is printed on her forehead or something. I told him to at least give you a chance, but be prepared to be thrusting for a long, long time. If that fails he can always flip ya over…….. hopefully no loose sphincter, that would be sad.

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