Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist
Dear Sizeist,
We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?
But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.
For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).
On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?
Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like. This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?
Here for the little people,
Em & Lo
January 16th, 2012 at 11:54 am
I’m a young woman 26 years old. I have only had three boyfriends. My boyfriend right now is alittle short. I am a woman that enjoys getting my cervix stimulated during sex and a 4-5inch penis honestly doesn’t cut it. His thickness is fine but some women like their cervix stimulated and I get amazing orgasums from it. The way I feel is if u not hitting it I can’t have a cervical orgasm during sex so what’s the point of having a penis in me. Clitoral orgasms are the easy ones and can be achieved easy. For people that say most of a women feeling is three inches in is wrong not all women are the same .
January 17th, 2012 at 4:55 am
Im 4-5 inches and wish I had an extra inch or two. Ive been with about 25 girls and about 5 said I was the best they ever had and about there were about 5 that I couldn’t do anything for. I noticed a patter than girls with small wrists seem to like smaller dicks. The best 3 girls all told me they were scared of big dicks and didnt like them cuz they hurt. They were all petite 110 lb girls with small wrists and loved me. My girl I’m with now is always horney for me. We have more sex than with anyone shes been with before because I am always hard and always want it and she is flattered. She has told me that I am the smallest she has been with and the only one that makes or orgasm every time. She wants to marry me and we have sex everyday if not twice or three times a day. That said I still wish I had an extra inch or two just for ego sake and to expand the amount of women I could please, but I figure if you have a smaller dick just find a smaller girl with a small frame. I even had one small asian girl that said I hurt her and she couldnt take all my 5 inches…lol
January 26th, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Well, i’m old enough to be quite experienced on this topic. Though certainly not proud of it, i’ve had 9 partners. Their sizes have been scattered. I would say about 1-3″, 1-4″, 2-5″, 1-6″, 2-7″ and 2-8/9″. I’ve also always been very tight, 1 finger is all I need to feel something. 3/4 of the big guys were very painful due to girth. I would say only 2 of the 9 knew what they were doing. None of them have ever gotten me off. Except my current boyfriend actually gets me so close that i’m just as exhausted as if I had climaxed. He is also about 5″.
I would have to say size does matter, but not in the typical way everyone thinks it does. If women could be less judgmental and more accepting, they would be able to experience what I have in that there’s always a perfect fit, you just have to be willing to try it on. It’s ridiculous that some females have a preference when they don’t even know much about, their
January 26th, 2012 at 4:36 pm
*own bodies. I wish there was a way to fix this for all those “average” or below sized guys. And as for my experiences, bigger guys almost always are lazy in bed! The ones i’ve been with also don’t last as long… talking literally 15 seconds to 2 minutes. It’s also a preference thing though, just like some guys like loose women or flat chests. But it is annoying that females have preferences when then haven’t tried all the flavors, they just think they prefer a certain size.
February 7th, 2012 at 3:33 am
If we concetrate on the size we won’t enjoy sex, as a man I do meet females wth huge hole but I try my best to make sure they also enjoy, same as their sizes of boobs n arse coz it does matter to some of us but we do try to settle for less. So nan u women out there stop descriminating the shorter guys out there, instead find a way to make use wat they have
February 14th, 2012 at 6:47 pm
This letter just screams inexperience to me. Sex isn’t about how big someones penis is, not even close. Not only is the vagina actually only 4 or 5 inches deep, most women only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Size matters to an extent, but bigger doesn’t always equal better. Thanks for setting her straight Em and Lo.
March 10th, 2012 at 7:07 am
This is crazy… A woman’s vagina is the size of a softball. I’ve never seen a penis with this kind of girth. why are we not questioning this issue. It’s all psychological. I’m 8″ and about 5″.25 girth and guess what? I want to be bigger. It’s all male ego, period. If your girlfriend tells you that you have a small penis, get rid of her. If you want to work it out, tell her to do keagles and in a short time she’ll be tighter.
March 14th, 2012 at 11:26 pm
I’ve lived through a similar situation but with girth (apparently it’s more important in pleasure for us girls).
My current boyfriend and my ex are exact in length but my current is half the size in girth. One is the biggest I’ve ever been with and the other is the smallest (coincidence, one right after the other..)
But I’ve now been longer with my current than I ever was with my ex. Even I’m surprised. =)
What I can tell you is that it’s HARD to get used to, and I think you only go through with it if you really love that person. For now I am content, even though I can’t help missing that feeling of fullness every once in a while..but then we play in bed and i get over it.;)
I don’t think it makes you a bad person at all, I think your reaction and questioning is absolutely normal(I went through the same ones!) I would say to try him out if you like him, you never know.
Good luck!
March 19th, 2012 at 12:27 am
Look the whole 4-5 in guys cant hit the cervics is bs the average length of the vagina is 4-6 inches and the openening of the cervics moves month to month its all abt angling to hit it. I hate that some girls bash the average guy cuz he dont have a penis like a porn start like they think theyre better then the average guy. When women bash the average size guyband say i want huge dick the 1st thing ppl think of u is that ur a whore. Learn how to have sex its not just stick it in and thats it no ots skill that gets the job done.
March 19th, 2012 at 12:49 am
only true hoes say this.
March 21st, 2012 at 9:28 am
I must say, I feel much better after reading this thread. I was kidded in high school because I matured late, and when soft my dick just doesn’t look impressive. But when hard, it’s 5.75. So even today, I have issues with it, even though I have literally had over 100 women in my life. I have had many tell me I was the best ever (I LOVE to eat pussy), I even had an Asian hooker in a foreign country come back a 3rd night, FOR FREE. And I have the cutest and thinnest 50 year old wife of anyone I know. Moral of the story: get it over it (myself included), and learn some new techniques. If you are an attentive lover with an average size, you’ll be just fine.
March 22nd, 2012 at 4:59 am
Although I am pretty well endowed (8″) I think these women have it mixed up. First of all, I would say 70% of women find my penis hard to take and then the anxiety of taking it can make it even worse and the sex can sometimes suffer, although if they relax I always ‘whips that pussy’ and get them off. We’d all like bigger for ego sake but most women can’t take them.
Anyway, for the OP, have you girls ever considered it’s not the average mans fault for being average but your fault for being a dime store hooker who’s had a truck load of cock and a vagina like a wizards sleeve?Let me tell you, confident and experienced guys mock girls with huge pussys so just think about that….
March 22nd, 2012 at 3:09 pm
I’m 5.5 inches and I’ve been with 4 girls in my life. Three of which I’ve given multiple orgasms to. Hell, I even had one who was a Caucasian screaming in spanish(I’m Spanish). Bottom line is, it depends on two things. 1 the motion of the ocean and 2 the emotional bond between both parties.
As an experiment I bought my wife a big dildo to see if I’m inadequate because of my insecurity of my penis some days. Turns out she doesn’t like the dildo because it hurts. My motto is “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” If you love the guy who cares what size his member is?
March 24th, 2012 at 5:31 am
Try Mine.
March 29th, 2012 at 11:15 pm
ok.. dont worry about it.
am a 30yr old guy an ive been with my girlfriend for about 4yrs now.
when we first had sex i was really wored as my manhood when hard is about 4 and half inches and i dint think she would be ok with it…
as the yrs have gone by i now no when we have sex sometimes she gets of on it and sometimes she dont.
even though my dick maybe on the small side she will always love me and sex is not always a big deal
March 31st, 2012 at 2:07 am
What a bunch of misandry and propaganda…way to stir up some good ol fashion male bashing,judgements and sex negativity ladies!!
March 31st, 2012 at 10:44 am
^ Assuming you’re a dude, you doubt you have preferences regarding the female form. Do those make you a misogynist and a propagandist?
April 5th, 2012 at 7:15 pm
When will men and women realize it’s not size that matters? And I mean all kinds of sizes, not just penis.
I’d like to weight in my two cents though. My husband has a 9 inch penis, very thick. Is he fantastic in bed? Yes, after a lot of trial and error. Has it made me looser down there? No, it still hurts when he penetrates me.
My previous boyfriends has had around 5-6-7 inches. Were they fantastic in bed? Yes.
Both have their advantages and disadvantages. So relax men, enjoy your penises no matter the size, most girls do!! Now I just wish someone would put us small chested women to rest ;P
April 21st, 2012 at 12:01 am
One of the best lovers I ever experienced was small. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Intercourse is not the only sex act in the world. There are lots of other things couples can do to have fun and have explosive orgasms. Size is not everything.
May 4th, 2012 at 11:35 am
I am 44yrs old and have not been with many women becuase I was married for 20yrs. She died in car accident while I was in Iraq. I am 8.25in long and almost 6in around but have always thought of myself as small due to comments my mother made while molesting me as a child. She luaghed and told me that being so small I have to eat pussy real well or be alone all my life. I don’t think women understand how comments regarding size can damage. Size does not matter when you love someone. Love has a way of blinding you and you just want to be with your love always.
May 16th, 2012 at 5:31 pm
A 4′ inch dick is average for asian region. Even here in Asian region prefer that size, becaze it doesn’t hurt them.
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