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Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Wed, Jun 17, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

baby_carrotsphoto by ILoveButter

Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist

Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.¬† This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

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711 Responses to “Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me”

  1. Imminent Says:

    I agree with uknown about female circumcision, which is contributes immensely both to a woman’s hygiene and is also the mark of a healthy society that cultivates refinement and civility. We shouldn’t hate women who reject a chode (very short penis) anymore than we should scorn shrewd and well reasoning men who recognize when a girl wishes to give her body over to pleasure and so takes his turn. Just don’t marry! Ha ha!

    Have fun!

  2. some guy Says:

    Women are proving how calus,morally bankrupt and demonic they really are in this thread.Funny how the feminists empower themselves by eviscerating men on this topic endlessly online.Keep continuing to an already out-of-control male suicide rate in america you irresponsible losers you effing make me sick !

  3. John Says:

    God, humans these days…
    Inb4 men start turning to women-bashing arseholes http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1mitex/a_ladys_honest_thoughts_on_penis_size/ (read especially the comment by TigerEyeTurtle who’s 4″ . Yes, fuckin’ 4″ !).

  4. josh Says:

    My wife hates my little penis.4.5.length 4.25 girth.i alow her hve sex with well hung men.she needs to feel like a woman.thats hard to do with a guy that looks like a little boy down there.my little penis is such a turn off to her she has no desire to allow me to enter her

  5. Wilt Says:

    I‚Äôm the proud owner operator of a handsome 5 inch Caucasian penis. 5 years ago I met the woman of my dreams. I perused her with every ounce of my being. I asked, she said yes, we married. I was happy. Sex was sweet, not perfect, but I did not care. Having her in my life made me happy. Not so for her. She strayed. We went to counseling. Size issue was put on the table. She wanted more. Counselor advised. We tried everything. Reconciled. She strayed again. Divorced after 5 years. Hearts at half-mast. Her lover moved into my old house after 30 days. I tail spun down, lost my way, my self confidence gone. I prayed, prayed again, and when I was done, I prayed some more. Two years later, the Calvary finally arrived in the form of a pretty brown eyed woman. She found me and dug me out of the deep pit and never looked back. Trust grew. I rocked her in my arms every night for 6 months. No intercourse. I was scared. She wasn’t. She was right. Ultimately had the best intercourse of my life! She thinks I just say that to make her happy, but it’s true, it’s amazing. Her vagina seems smaller and shallower than my other lovers. I feel like I fill her completely, even to the point where she sometimes asks me to not “thrust so deeply”. Me Tarzan you Jane, I love it. Life is sweet, my Girl is sweet, she made all the difference to me! Once again the world spins in well grease grooves.
    PS
    My ex is single again, Her lover moved on after a year. Still a pretty woman. Any of you well hung men out there should look her up. She has a real nice house.

  6. Fred Says:

    Woa Wilt! looks like having a small penis paid off for you!

  7. Woman Not So Sure Says:

    I hate when obviously “small” guys sit there like “some guy” and call women into question for being feminists, callus, demonic and irresponsible because we don’t want your smaller penis. I’m sorry what do any of those labels have to do with us as women and our personal preference? Men are all different sizes and so are women by trade.

    I also have broken down my partner with my anger and sexual frustration for his smaller penis and premature problems. I feel like it’s a bad date and he has no idea how to be a dominant male, even before my outspoken feelings. I told him I won’t cheat and I mean that but I wish I could every day. I’m so horny and he is so not working for me anymore. Love is bullshit; it keeps you while keeping yourself unhappy and unsatisfied. Why couldn’t he be dominant?! Why can’t his penis be larger?! Our son is one and before it was ok but it was never great….we franks little too much when we graduated college and voila. Our lives aren’t were we want them to be.

    I can see why women cheat. I never knew the possible reasons for their unhappiness. Poor things. The guys want to think we are evil, but we are not, we are just deeply unsatisfied. When you know what satisfaction really is,it’s like be punished your whole life!

    In evolutionary biology, we learned something some odd years ago that stuck with me. In lamest terms, women want high testosterone driven men with extreme sexual dimorphism to have sex with and bear the children while we prefer low testosterone, submissive males to care for the children and marry. So yeah, I guess we are bitches; we want the caring, “I’ll do anything for you guy (who is clearly compensating)” and the huge hulk of a man who can make you feel protected and satisfied with his demeanor and well ya know….hmmm.

    It’s nature for women to want that and the reason both still exist and one group hasn’t been evolutionized (obviously not a real word) is because we want to feel love in both ways. We want it all in one man and I’ve been very close to one but he was still a dick, yes both literally and figuratively.

  8. Woman+Not+So+Sure Says:

    I hate when obviously “small” guys sit there like “some guy” and call women into question for being feminists, callus, demonic and irresponsible because we don’t want your smaller penis. I’m sorry what do any of those labels have to do with us as women and our personal preference? Men are all different sizes and so are women by trade.

    I also have broken down my partner with my anger and sexual frustration for his smaller penis and premature problems. I feel like it’s a bad date and he has no idea how to be a dominant male, even before my outspoken feelings. I told him I won’t cheat and I mean that but I wish I could every day. I’m so horny and he is so not feeling my needs (yes, pun intended). Love is bullshit; it keeps you there while you keep yourself unhappy and unsatisfied. Why couldn’t he be dominant?! Why can’t his penis be larger?!

    Our son is one and here we are in the shitty mess. We worked a lot before him and the shitty sex life was manageable but with the same problems as before in a smaller way. My doctor and other men before me told me I had a very tight bag one which is why we were ok before said kid but even after doing kegels I am still not really feeling him the way I want to. I DON’T care about length as much as girth because of what the article mentions for women. My vagina is not blown out or overly-gapped and even when I tell him that it could be me, he says “No……honestly, your vagina is still really tight; not as tight as before but still tighter than the girls before.” It isn’t a farce, I couldn’t even get a tampon up there before the laboring of my son…which is why we worked in the first place.

    I can see why women cheat. I never knew the possible reasons for their unhappiness. Poor things. The guys want to think we are evil, but we are not, we are just deeply unsatisfied. When you know what satisfaction really is, it’s like be punished your whole life!

    In evolutionary biology, we learned something some odd years ago that stuck with me. In lamest terms, women want high testosterone driven men with extreme sexual dimorphism to have sex with and bear the children while we prefer low testosterone, submissive males to care for the children and marry. So yeah, I guess we are bitches; we want the caring, “I’ll do anything for you guy (who is clearly compensating)” and the huge hulk of a man who can make you feel protected and satisfied with his demeanor and well ya know….hmmm.

    It’s nature for women to want that and the reason both still exist and one group hasn’t been evolutionized (obviously not a real word) is because we want to feel love in both ways. We want it all in one man and I’ve been very close to one but he was still a dick, yes both literally and figuratively.

  9. Mr Lala Says:

    I have to say, reading these comments makes me so happy I’ve never married. The crap these guys put up with is insane. They have to work like dogs, never show any weakness, keep her juices flowing year in and year out..and in the end she leaves him or cheats for a dick that is two inches bigger? Really? My dick is 6.75 inches..its never been called small..but I know it’s not a monster. If some woman ever left me over the size of my penis..I would laugh. Seriously, I would find that shit funny. I mean, would you really want her as the mother of your kids if she is willing to do that? I just turned 40 and I treat women like disposable sex objects. That’s all they are to me at this point. A vessel for my pleasure to be cast aside when I am done using them. And to the woman above that mentions evolutionary biology..yeah we get it. Women are hypergamous..they want the alpha male for the thrill, but settle down with the beta to raise her kids ater she hits the wall in her thirties. Well..guess what sweetie? Men are waking up to the true nature of woman..and we dont want you. Alpha, beta, zeta..we simply dont want used up cock carousel riders for girlfriends or wives. Your partner should leave you, kids or not and count his blessings that he didnt get in any deeper with you. That poor bastard.

  10. steve Says:

    I’m about 5 1/4. Not big by any means and yes at times it has bothered me. My current girlfriend shows me so much affection it doesn’t matter. We talked about it openly once after she commented on a fantasy to feel a large penis. After getting over myself I decided to make it to a point of humor. If while walking together if we passed a man I’d say “did you just look at his crotch?”. Of course shed reply in shock. We’d tease each other and end up having mind blowing sex. I bought a large thick lifelike strap on and was able to use it on her once for about 10 seconds. It’s never been used again. She actually prefers what I have. She’s accustomed to it and orgasm regularly. So my advice is don’t ignore the elephant in the room. If it’s a deal breaker move on. Every one is different.

  11. Aris Says:

    There is some interesting feedback here I must say. I am part of the small percentile fortunate enough to have a large member (a hair under 6″ flaccid and a hair under 9″ fully erect). I am 6 ft 4 and thin (although I have read height doesn’t matter with respect to penis sizes). I have been with the same girl for about 3 years now and needless to say, we have mind blowing sex, and she absolutely loves my member, as have most of the girls I’ve been with. Recently she told me she once blew off a guy roughly 1.5-2 inches larger than me and this has been bothersome, I feel like it has affected my pride, but to be honest, I really just take it out on her in the bedroom (guys, little advise, big or small, always put in 100% effort). I am not sure what the purpose of my post is but I just thought I would share, I have a feeling my girlfriend is a “big cock” lover and to be honest, those kind of girls do not make the best wife’s. I am concerned on a few levels but whatever, I have a very big dick and I guess I shouldn’t complain..

    Oh and guys, size isn’t everything, my best friend has a small member and he has banged probably 70-80 woman in his life, confidence and hard work go a long way..


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