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Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Wed, Jun 17, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

baby_carrotsphoto by ILoveButter

Dear Em & Lo,
About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I’m really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that’s been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can’t good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
–Sizeist

Dear Sizeist,

We almost didn’t print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It’s the secret fear that everyone — male and female — experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

But on behalf of all the average-sized men out there, i.e. the vast majority of men, we think you should give Mr. 4-6″ a chance. It’s not like you’ve dated a string of 8″ men and have discovered that only a super-sized schlong can satisfy you. (In fact, you need to understand that, statistically speaking, 8 inches is freakishly long). No, you just had one great experience with one 8″ penis. And this is by no means a guarantee that sex with a 4-6″ penis will feel only 50-75% as great.

For a start, men with big swinging dicks can get lazy in the sack, assuming that size is the only thing that matters. They may also assume that intercourse is the only thing that matters — and we all know how few women climax from intercourse alone; remember, orgasm achieved through non-penile means still counts as sex! Not to mention, you may suddenly discover new penetration positions that you really enjoy — positions that perhaps were not so comfortable with a larger specimen. Oh, and don’t forget that, when it comes to size, most women agree that girth is a lot more important than length, since the majority of sensation is felt in the outer third of the vagina, thanks to the extensions of the clitoris, the g-spot, and the pelvic floor muscles around the lower part of the vaginal canal (and also since a lot of women don’t enjoy having their cervix rammed).

On a final note: Maybe he was nervous and not fully inflated, as it were. Basically, you have no idea what sex is going to be like with this man. So if you dig him (and we surely hope the handwork you exchanged means that you do), why not find out whether the motion of his ocean can get the job done?

Of course, we can’t discount the fact that you may simply be less attracted to him (or not attracted to him at all) now that you’ve scoped out his unit — you like what you like.  This doesn’t make you a bad person, though you are severely limiting your dating options — at least until your tattoo idea catches on. We suppose you could post a personal ad specifying that only 8″-penis-owners need reply, but something tells us that’s not exactly the way to find the next Boyfriend of the Year. Here’s a better idea: Why not just spend some quality time with an average-sized penis and see if the experience converts you?

Here for the little people,

Em & Lo

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704 Responses to “Advice: My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me”

  1. Spes Says:

    Angie, I’m a chick, and I say 5 inches is just fine if the guy knows how to use it properly. If you wish you can argue using some other points, but don’t try to use gender as a valid point when you are WRONG. It’s like saying only a chick would say that anything less than a C cup is acceptable–and from another thread on this site we’ve found that such is certainly not the case.

  2. Madamoselle L Says:

    Hmmm, that’s a hard one. (OMG.) My man is big, 8.5 or so and bigger around than I can get my little hand. I dated a few other guys in college (we were on a break, jeez) and they were, well, not nearly as big. These guys were also mostly lazy lovers. (College horney, drunk, inexperience, I am not sure. But, they weren’t much to write home about.) If a man can’t give up some head, he’s not gonna get a 2nd (3rd?) chance with me. (That can be the deal breaker, especially with a guy with smaller equipment, hell, it is, even with a guy with HUGE equipment.)

    I married the man with the huge shlong, (it is not the only reason I married him) he is not “lazy” at all, loves giving head as much, if not more than getting it. All in all, I am glad he’s the size he is, but a man who is smaller, who knows what he is doing would have been OK, too. Big was my first, didn’t know they came any smaller, so it’s the standard I measure by. (Also, my vag doesn’t only have sense in the “outer 1/3″ that we always hear about, the WHOLE thing is sensitive, and I like it that way. A longer stroke just feels better….)

    One piece of advice, make sure you know him well before bringing the 9 inch long, 2 inch around vibrator/dildo into the relationship. Yeah, some guys get intimidated if you want to use that. My man bought me our first one, I hated the smell of it (that vinyl-rubber shower curtain smell) and the thing was not good quality, so I bought a Boss Lady from Fun Factory through Babeland. The Man took one look at it and said, “My God, it’s bigger than me.” I don’t think so, seems about the same, but he was a little taken aback.

    It doesn’t bother him a bit, though, as it often helps get the job done. If you are going to introduce such a toy, get him used to the idea, first. (most guys will be OK with a toy if you introduce it as an adjunct to oral, or, to even more to his benefit, a way to DP.) And, hon, always tell the guy “I like you better.” (And don’t add, “but you don’t have 9 different vibe speeds and patterns at the push of a button. Plus,I can’t keep you in the underwear drawer.”)

  3. E Says:

    I disagree that this is like guys preferring a certain breast size. Approximate breast size is obvious even when covered by clothing and guys can (and do) use that information along with personality, facial features, etc when deciding if they’re attracted to someone. I say this as someone with 32AA size boobs. I’m grateful their size is obvious so a guy who doesn’t prefer my body type won’t waste my time or his. Penises generally only come out after initial attraction is established, which complicates matters. It is more similar to the guys who claim to be disgusted by certain labia sizes, when perhaps a woman nearby has large labia and is suddenly made insecure about her body. Sucks to be on that side of things, whether you’re male or female. And I think it would be nice for both males and females to have more sensitivity when discussing negative *to them* traits others might “secretly” have.
    Some people care about penis size and some don’t. I’ve had *great* sex with men who’ve had small, average, and large penises. (and mediocre sex with all of the above as well.) Truly doesn’t matter to me if the chemistry is there. It does to some people, which doesn’t make them shallow, just reduces their chances of finding someone compatible. I “only” have to consider personality/temperament, sense of humor, intelligence, character, chemistry, goals, communication style, and whether they like me too… thank goodness I don’t have to worry about penis size in addition to all that! :)

  4. jamie-lynn Says:

    I am a young african american woman who has been in a relationship with my with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. Before him in pervious relationships I have been with men who a majority of them had penis’s over 8 ins. (I don’t kno if african american men just generally have bigger ones.) So when I got with my current boyfriend who is about 6.5 I didn’t know what 2 expect. All I can say is size isn’t eveything because most times with foreplay and everything else, (You know what I mean.) When its time for intercorse I’m half way done with my goal. Don’t let the size of his penis blind your judgement for everything good he has to offer. And if its still not what you expected let him know politely that he’s just not what your looking for.

  5. Lela Says:

    Well I guess men with small penis’ & women with small breast (like myself) could possibly sort of feel each others pain.

  6. Jaime Says:

    What I have learnt about women and penis sizes is that altough it seems most women do not care about it ( unless we are talking about extremes over and under the average, too big and painfull, too small ).. there are plenty of women that I can see enjoy making mean yet subtle comments about penis size.
    Seems there are these type of woman that enjoys being aggresive in their mean remarks. Unfortunately , like in most issues, the bad remarks are the ones that make larger echoes, despite the fact that these mean hostile remarks are the less prevalent.
    well, I guess you girls ( the mrs large penis ones ) got what you were asking for, I see no point in being nice to women while it seems that gender is mean as nails. So from now on I am going to go after, and say it outloud, near perfect women.
    No fat chicks.
    No celullite.
    Beautiful face features.
    Blond or red head.
    10+ bodies.
    Nice round and big breasts.
    Long legs.
    And anything that is relevant to that model

    Anything short of that would be considered a dog. Sorry girls, but anything short of that model just does not cut it.
    Wont be easy to find that kind of women , but the search is worth it. And let me tell you, it is easier that thought, those women are easily available, most men feel intimidated in their prescence, all it takes is courage and personality/self confidence.
    Why lose time with an average woman that , on top of her medeocre qualities, she is going to tell me, an average man ( not a small guy ) that I am not good because she demands a Long Dong Silver rod.

    Get lost……no time to waste

  7. Madamoselle L Says:

    quote “So from now on I am going to go after, and say it outloud, near perfect women.
    No fat chicks.
    No celullite.
    Beautiful face features.
    Blond or red head.
    10+ bodies.
    Nice round and big breasts.
    Long legs.
    And anything that is relevant to that model” end quote

    Says the soon to be celibate (and perhaps peroxide and silicone poisoned) gentleman.

    I hope that was a lame attempt at being sarcastic. Really, what woman yells out their preference in penis size in public?

    I don’t think any woman on this reply page, even if she does tend to prefer larger men SAYS IT out loud, or even in private when with a smaller man. Preferences don’t mean “that’s the only way I’ll take it.” Just “I like it better that way.” I don’t think one can help that. We all have preferences, that doesn’t mean anything other is off the list, just some things are preferable.

    Good luck trying to find the Perfect Aryan Princess, though. ;)

  8. jake Says:

    All you women saying you ex had 8 inches. Did you actually measure him or just take his word for it? If you have the spare time, get a tape measure and look at how long 8 inches actually is.

    As for sizeist, godd luck on looking for another guy with 8 inches (assuming he did have 8 inches). 97% of men are under 8, so statitically speaking, you’d have to screw a 100 men, and you may find three that size. And then if you do, you also have to take in account if they are the right person, have other qualiuties that make you attracetd to them.

    Remember this, a guy with a huge dick is rare, but hot looking women are a dime a dozen.Don’t think you’re so special honey, I’m average sized myself at 6.5 long, but any women demanding a big dick better be outsatnding looking.

    No fat chicks.
    No celullite.
    Beautiful face features.
    Blond or red head.
    10+ bodies.
    Nice round and big breasts.
    Long legs.
    And anything that is relevant to that model

    I agree with this, accept I want dark haired with olive skin over red heads and blondes.

    Any fat chick demanding a big dick, get on the treadmill first dear.

  9. Johnny Says:

    Ten+ bodies? You think that’s a dime a dozen? Are you insane? You might see a 10 a couple times a year.

    Consider the olympics. Those are the best athletes in the world. How often do you see one of them get a perfect 10, in any event? Sometimes an entire Olympic Games goes by without anyone scoring a ten.

    Tens are so rare as to practically not exist, as far as most guys are concerned. Stop bullshitting.

  10. jake Says:

    Where did I mention 10 + bodies? I said there plenty of hot looking women, I quoted the 10 from someone else you idiot.

    There’s a lot more hot looking women then there are men packing 8 inch + cocks, that’s for sure.

  11. Madamoselle L Says:

    Jake seemed a little put out and said: “All you women saying you ex had 8 inches. Did you actually measure him or just take his word for it?”

    Measured, babe. 8.5 at full, and bigger around than my little hand can span. (Or about 8 in. circumference or about 1 3/4 to 2 in across.)

    About the size of the Fun Factory “Boss Lady” vibe.

    I would recommend a cloth tape measure, as the metal workshop type can really hurt, if they nick the side of you.

    Yep, and I married him, too. He’s not my ex, he’s my husband.

    I agree with Johnny. A 10 Woman is rare. And, seeing the effort which is put into women staying that way, I’d say a 8+ cock is probably more common. (Of Jake thinks “10″ women are a “dime a dozen” my guess is he either is VERY generous with his “grading” or he is wearing his beer goggles a bit too often.)

  12. Johnny Says:

    Whether or not you said it originally, didn’t you write that you agree?

    Moron. Don’t parse words with me. I’m too smart for you.

  13. jake Says:

    Somebody else who can’t read. I said hot looking women are a dime a dozen, and yes they are. 10+ women are rare, I quoted that from someone else, but 9+ or 8+, their are plenty, and I have high standards.

    The reason I ask I ask if you measured is because men talk BS, and most women can’t measure with their eyes. BTW if he’ 8 inch circumference, he’s in the world record books.

  14. jake Says:

    Johnny you’re a retard, just accept this and move on.

    And yes I agree with him. I have high standards, I refuse to date dogs. I dislike fat people with a passion. Anybodies who’d fat out their needs to lose it, you are embarrassing the world with your ugliness and laziness.

  15. Madamoselle L Says:

    “most women can’t measure with their eyes” ???? We know how long our hands are! (mine’s 6 1/4 in. from base to middle fingertip.) As for “BTW if he’ 8 inch circumference, he’s in the world record books.” I don’t think so. That’s about the length between my thumb and middle finger, hand outstretched, give or take. (Plus, my dh thought it was funny when I brought out the measuring tape all those years ago…) Guess I’ve seen more than you have…..(Unless you are gay, which I am guessing you’re not,(and it wouldn’t matter) from your posts, I would hope so….)

    Oh, well. Like I said, it isn’t a “deal breaker” a preference doesn’t mean “that or nothing.” Just “I prefer that.”

    *shrug*

  16. Madamoselle L Says:

    Sorry, the “I would hope so” referred to my saying “I guess I’ve seen more than you have.” I didn’t mean to insinuate anything I didn’t mean. Sorry.

  17. jake Says:

    8 inch circumference is a coke can thickness, you don’t see em that big in porn. I don’t envy you if you can take that. Like I said before, women do get measurements wrong. I heard girls say I’m over 7, I’m not I’m 6.5 (non bone pressed), and I don’t lie about it either because it’s pointless. No point saying you have a 9 incher if you don’t. Measuring from cloth I’m almost a 7, but I don’t count that.

    Everybody has a preference, nothing wrong with that. But this Sizeist lady strikes me as a little dumb. She can’t tell the difference between 4-6 inches, which tells me she’s never measured before.

    And the women who do mock guys with small dicks need to realise, they themselves aren’t perfect. There’s such a thing as Karma, they need to remember that.

  18. Madamoselle L Says:

    Jake said: “8 inch circumference is a coke can thickness, you don’t see em that big in porn.” Depends on what kind of porn you’re watching…

    I don’t have a soda can (we don’t drink the stuff) But a 16 oz beer can in the fridge was about 8.5 in circ. So? Doesn’t seem THAT big. Flesh is VERY different, and feels VERY different than cold metal. (That’s why they don’t make the Stainless Steel PurJoy that big. But,they do make ‘em that big in Vixskin or even silicone.) And flesh is malleable. Also, men tend to wax and wane during the duration. But, all men have a “high point” turgid size. I’ll say, again, I’ll bet I’ve seen more than you have. I think I know what I am talking about. I doubt most men are at their best in the locker room.

    You said: “I don’t envy you if you can take that.” LOL! You don’t get it…..(That one left me, and most ladies reading laughing…)

    Ah, well. I’m not a sizist. Whatever that is. Done here….

  19. Madamoselle L Says:

    Oh, I see why you are confused. You said: “But this Sizeist lady strikes me as a little dumb. She can’t tell the difference between 4-6 inches, which tells me she’s never measured before.” No. There IS a difference between the SIZE of my hand, from the base to my middle finger (6 1/4)(like holding up your hand to say “Stop”) and the DIFFERENCE between my middle finger and my thumb. (Like attempting to imitate Rachmananoff on the piano, with fingers outstretched, and measuring BETWEEN the longest finger and the end of the thumb, the outstretched hand is MUCH longer) BIG difference (about 2 inches) If you didn’t read carefully, I can see where you would be confused. It’s two different things.

    Plus, I used that as a “fir’instance” when you said “most women can’t tell size by eye.” Add actually whipping out a cloth sewing tape measure (which I wouldn’t recommend unless you are in a VERY stable relationship with a VERY confident man) and my post made sense.

    Over and out.

  20. jake Says:

    Sorry I’m not gay, and secondly the boss lady vibe was only 5 and a half in girth, yeah it is over 8 inches long. The man with the worlds largest penis is 13 inches, I’m not sure he even has an 8 inch circumference, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t.

    And Sizest was the name of the person who made the letter. It was her who couldn’t tell the difference between 4 and six, and there’s is a big difference in length.

    And for the record, it wouldn’t matter if I was nine inhes or one inch. Any women who demanded to know my measurements would be out the door. A bit like me demanding to know a women’s breast or waist size.

  21. Madamoselle L Says:

    jake, dude, no one is asking or demanding ANYBODY’S measurements. That would be RUDE. (I don’t date anymore, but I certainly never would do that. EVER. It’s tacky, crude and unattractive.) I made a point of saying, “No woman does that.” YOU ASKED and you questioned what I posted.

    According to legend, John C. Holmes was between 12 and 14 in long, and although I don’t know the girth, from videos (which can be deceiving) I think those womens’ hands (and mouths) are either my size or bigger than mine) probably at least about 9 or 10 in circ. I don’t know who keeps these records. So, I don’t know if there IS a real person or people keeping records, and as there is no “National Directory of Penial Size at Full Erection Department” (thank GOD) most men have never been recorded.

    You have me running around with the tape measure like an 18 year old girl. LOL! Yeah, the Boss Lady IS about 5 1/2 or a little more around. If you read my critique on the Babeland.com site you will see what I said about THAT and my experience LONG before I ever posted here. My critique is the second to last (so the second to FIRST as you read them) I have no reason to lie. Who knows then, maybe my dh could have had a different career. (Joke.) He was my first, (one of those “meet-as-teens-and-go-on-to-sample-other-stuff-before-rediscovering-each other things.) so I didn’t know any better then. NEVER said a word of discouragement or certainly never anything rude to any of my other lovers. I would never do that.

    This particular part of the forum is about this subject, so I gave MY impressions. SOMEBODY has to get that “scary big” guy….

    And, I DIDN’T think you were gay, I just didn’t want any misunderstandings. My guess is your experience with men and their junk is from locker rooms,which doesn’t expose you to the full spectrum of full strength hard ons of other men, I think, so I simply used that as a way to make understood I have probably seen more than you have in that department, and I made that clear.

    Remember this is a sex positive site. I have no reason to disrespect anyone, and no intention of doing so. Just posting according to my feelings and my experiences.

  22. ars3435 Says:

    After being spoiled by my first boyfriend who was a longer and wider than average (say 7 in. and 6 in. ish respectively), I didn’t really think that there was all that much difference to penises. A penis is a penis, right?

    Well, over the next few years, I picked truly nice guys with totally different penises: average and thin, average and thick, ect. Then I dated what my friend liked to call “the tripod.” It seems almost a mythical creature that rarely is found and honestly, I found to be fun but overrated. It was so long that it hurt (not the fun kind of hurt either). I progressed on to the littlest penis and thinest I had encountered. It was MAYBE 4 in. if I was measuring generously and kinda shaped like a cone where the tip is noticeably smaller. I continually waited to feel the rest of it going in, but instead it was already going back out. It got to the point that while I liked the guy reasonably well, I found excuses to avoid sex. It was the worst sex I had ever had (that and he had no idea what to do with it no matter what I suggested. It was like I was 17 again with lots of enthusiasm, pumping, and fast release). It ended, but there were other issues that far outweighed sex.

    So long story short, I am not a sizest per se, but I would have to say that a nice balance to moderate size and width just does it for me. That is just me though. I can speak for no one else, but if I do end up meeting a guy that is bigger than the last, knows what to do, and I love him, I will count myself lucky.

  23. mm7802 Says:

    I’m a 22 year old black male, 6′2″ tall 185 lbs. with a 7 inch penis and 5.5 girth. I used to think I was big when I was 16 and 17, but over the last few years I have had some insecurity about it. I’ve had a few girls tell me it was big, and I haven’t had a girl tell me I was small but I can’t help but think that girls expect me to have like a 9 inch penis with 7 inches of girth!

  24. wolverine Says:

    i really dont think that this is even worth you guys bantering over. i think my killer dick is just under 6 inches and “maybe” 2 inches around. when flaccid, hell good luck finding it! i am very insecure about it but it is not because every woman i’ve been with has complained or insulted me. in fact, not a one has broken my ego but have told me how it was the first time that they had ever experienced multiple orgasms and ever became emotionally involved enough to cry due to the orgams(yes tears of joy). i think that my hang up with my size stems from fantasizing about having such a big dick that a woman would endure the pain just to feel the pleasure? if that makes sense. or be willing to take the pain just because she loves me? hell i don’t know- all i know is that i would love to have 8+ inhes to ram down a girls throat or to pleasure her with anal sex. funny though, i’ve been told that- mine is the perfect size for oral and orgasms have been achieved analy. yet and still……i want a massive member and i dont want to give up deep thaoting and anal sex……damn, i just dont know. so i guess size matters to both women and men don’t really know why…but it does. fellow smally’s enjoy yer bj’s and anal sex and live in the comfort knowing that you cause no pain…..just pleasure! cya folks!

  25. Mo Says:

    I have a 5.5 inch penis…despite how small it already is, it looks even smaller becaus of the small tip. More like 4 inches lyk ars3 says. I think the head size determines how big the penis looks. And does 1 or two inches bigger really make such a difference in the pleasure?

  26. Jaime Says:

    Plenty of 10, 9 and 8 ( on the scale ) women around town.

    That is no bullshitting. Most of the attractive women are not show offs. I work in Court Houses and I see all day long gorgeous women that are not showing off.Those women look amazing, and at the same time those women are not the trashy kind you may find at taverns and bars/nightclubs. Stop looking for that gorgeous woman at those places, look around at work, at the market, at the bank, gym, movies, bookstore, etc.
    Most men think of a 10 woman as a woman that has to dress up ultra provocatively to be a 10, or as if dressing like that is a mandatory requirement. In fact, most of the girls that dress up provocatively are in fact the opposite, and are using that display to cover up for their low points.

    So it is not any difficult to find attractive and well bodied women at all. Like I said before, most of the issue with a 10, 9, 8 ( on scale ) woman is the fact that most men feel intimidated in their prescense. Get over that intimidation factor and you are out there in the water with all those gorgeous fish swimming around you…the female fish.

    At the same time, for those that doubt my words and insist there are not as many perfect or near perfect women around as I think , even if that is what you think, that should be incentive enough to stop worrying about Miss Long Dong Silver, the woman that demands a large penis because she thinks she has the right to put down 80% of humanity ( of males, her sexual world of interest ). If I ever encounter such a trashy woman, let me tell you and reiterate my position, she better be a 10+ “plus” lady, in that case, I can understand ( not endorse, but at least understand her narrow minded uptight brain ) why she thinks she can become so irrational and demand such preposterous characteristics. She may have been spoiled all her life, and she may have stayed frozen in her teen years, when she looked at porn movies in her PC and hence expected all men to be like that.
    If all men expected women to be like porn stars, 90% of women in this planet would die virgins!
    So, Miss Long Dong Silver, you better be a supermodel if you are going to bring that crap around me ( that I have to be Long Dong Silver myself, or his clone ), other than that, I would not even lose my time talking to a mediocre creation of God ( perhaps you were made on a Friday, it is known cars made on Firdays are flaws…)
    Plenty of super good looking women out there, you are nothing more than a statistic, freaks do exist in the world!

  27. Matt Says:

    Taverns?!? Where do you live, Jaime–the Middle Ages?

  28. jake Says:

    I 100% agree with you Jaime. I have no problem with women having a preference for liking a large penis, when you get some who say something outrageous like ” nothing under 7 or it’s a dealbreaker”, you gotta question what type of women this is.

    It would be a bit like me demanding to only date a woman with the body of a swimsuit model or a cenrefold girl.

    But like I said before, a lot of girls aren’t great at estimating size. So all these 8 and 9 inch cocks they say they’ve had, you gotta take with a pinch of salt.

    Madamoselle L’s husband might be 8.5 long, but a dick that size is incerdibly rare. 97% of men are under 8 inches according to studies, so all these women who claim to have had giant cocks, are either pornstars, liars or whores. Because you’d have to go through quite a lot of men to see so many big dicks.

  29. Johnny Says:

    Pornstars, liars or whores!?!?

    You’re like the skinny nerd who would rather hate on jocks than hit the gym… or the jock who’d rather beat up nerds than open a book… or the sexless frump who’d rather call other girls sluts than try to have a little fun of her own… Or the lovelorn dork who calls women cockteases rather than upping his game…

    There are so many girls out there who will like your average or smaller-sized dick. Why are you insulting the ones who like the big boys?

    Insecurity, that’s why. So lame. I bet women smell your rotten attitude a mile away.

  30. Johnny Says:

    And by the way – so WHAT if she has “gone through quite a lot of men to see so many big dicks”?

    Does that make her bad? No. It’s just threatening to you. She likes sex, and she likes it with the big boys. Nothing wrong with that.

    You may think you’re hurting these womens’ feelings by saying shit like that, thereby galvinizing your own fragile ego, but believe me… they see right through it, and they’re laughing at you.

  31. jake Says:

    Listen little Johnney, I’m not interested in hurting anyone’s feelings. If someone says they’ve seen a lot of dicks you have to question their morals. I don’t date sluts period, regardless if they slept with many giant dicks or many tiny dicks.

    Likewise, I’ve no problem with women who prefer bigger dicks and never insulted them you retard. What I don’t like is when they think they can demand it. A bit like me demanding a swimsuit model, I may have a preference for a women with such a body, but to demand it, smacks of arrogance. Like the other guy said, unless you’re a 10+ women in the looks department don’t demand anything.

    And btw up your game Johney, your insults are rather lame. There’s no such thing as jocks in my country, and I don’t go checking out othet guys dicks. If you did that over here you’d be considered a queer.

  32. jake Says:

    btw, when a woman claims to have slept with over 20 men, she is considered a slut. Most of my buddies would consider her a slut and “easy”. Women like that get a bad reputation, that’s how it is, nothing to do with being insecure with penis size, that’s how women like that are seen whether they like it or not.

  33. Johnny Says:

    Ok, what about a guy who’s slept with 20 women? Is he also immoral?

  34. jake Says:

    Personally I think so. The reason why we have so many filthy diseases around nowdays is for this very reason. And before you ask, I’m not one of these that preach “sex before marriage”, and stay a virgin till 50.

    People mostly just screw around because they have nothing better to do with their lives. Mindless sex keeps them entertained for five minutes or so because they have nothing else to live for.

    The old sterotype that women who screw around with loads of men is true though. To me it would be a total turnoff to be with a woman who’s slept with loads of men. Nothing to do with dick size from previous guys, just the fact that so many men have spunked up her. I may as well just stick my dick in a bag of garbage.

  35. Robbie Says:

    I have a 4 1/2 inch long penis;I’m 45 yrs old..For most of my younger life i have been teased about it!
    I hear comments regularly;even today from women and men making fun of small penis sizes.
    I guess i have radar!
    From all that i have always felt i would never please a women sexually.
    I got my first wife to sleep with other men because of it..(she didn’t want to).I drove her to it..
    That relation ship ended after 13 years..
    My next(been some in between)The woman i am now with has been sexually with over 100 men before me..
    I got her to tell me i am the smallest she has ever had!(I had to hear it)Believing i would never please her sexually..She had told me from the start the she was happy about my size and loves me..I couldn’t hear it! because of my low self a steam ;convinced her she is missing good sex and really forced her to sleep with a co worker of mine..
    took 2 years to convince her and make happen.
    end result is;She did and the sex was great!
    But she wanted it to great with me!
    she said it was great because of the connection she had with him..not his size..
    we almost broke up right after..
    She wanted to have a connection with me and enjoy sex with me the man she loves..not just a penis..she wanted me to be there emotionally connected with her..
    I was living with sex as an action! Not a emotion or connection!
    we are still together and working it! i’m still fighting with my low self a steam of having a little cock but day by day it’s better!
    If Penis Size is so important for you I can finally tell you that you are missing so much more..
    please go see a psychologist they can do a world of difference..

  36. Madamoselle L Says:

    Thanks, Johnny, you have remained on target, honest and Sexusally Positive (which is what this site is ABOUT) I have sat here, and agreed with about everything you have said, thank you for your interpretation. I don’t want to insult anyone (and I have tried hard NOT to do so) but, like you intimated, when someone uses terms like “these women who claim to have had giant cocks, are either pornstars, liars or whores.” and “btw, when a woman claims to have slept with over 20 men, she is considered a slut” and “The reason why we have so many filthy diseases around nowdays is for this very reason” SHEESH, these are NOT Sex Positive messages.

    NO ONE, I repeat NOT ONE of the women here DEMANDED or even required Big Boys, some of us were just HONEST in our preference. A preference doesn’t mean, “It’s the only way I’ll have it.” Or “I won’t have anything else, and I’ll be mean to anyone who doesn’t fill my rigid requirements.” it means, we have PREFERENCES, my husband PREFERS women with round asses and nice hips, (he’s LUCKY he’s with me, LOL!) But, he doesn’t REQUIRE it, nor has he ever been mean to a thin woman with a boyish figure. It’s just HIS preference.

    *SIGH* I tried to be nice to this dude, but he just wants to insult. Many women have “reclaimed” the word “slut” like many Gay man have reclaimed “Queer” or “Fag” for their own. But, when someone uses the words the way some of these posters have, you can just SEE the insecurity showing through.

    I’m forgiving, though. No skin off my nose.

    Thank you, Johnny, you’ve been honest and kind and you really seem TO KNOW what the women here are saying. And many of us are really NICE women who have just been HONEST.

    Blessings

  37. jake Says:

    Nobody seems to read my posts properly it seems. I never said anybody on here DEMANDED to be with a big dicked guy. There are size queens out there who do however, they’ll refuse to sleep with a guy who isn’t big. Those type of people better be spectacular looking themselves, there’s nothing wrong with having a preference, but if you’re average looking, don’t be knocking guys who aren’t big and thinking you’re deserving of something you aren’t (aimed at the women who do).

    Nothing to do with being insecure, if a woman sleeps with many men then she is a slut, most men will see her that way as well. Just because someone disagrees with me, doesn’t mean I’m insecure. It just means I’m correct and they’re wrong.

  38. richard ludwig Says:

    inside i am a very sweet guy, but i do have a bit of a fear(i guess you might say it is an insecurity). i have a disability called epilepsy(it is a seizure condition), and a small pecker. what i am afraid of is that women will not want and love me for the me inside and kick me right to the curb because of the small cock and/or disability alone.
    i have been stung before by women and thats why i have a small fear of dating and getting kicked to the curb(because of the disability and dick size reason) plus i have issues with trusting people other than myself(and my biological family).

  39. richard ludwig Says:

    any thoughts – and please OH PLEASE – do not spare my feelings.

  40. Don Says:

    What I found years ago is that if you are a guy, you get only one penis to work with. You can wish all you want, but it will be whatever if is and nothing more. Given the usual stated
    average” size, I guess I fall a little below those figures, but have never let if hinder my game in the dating world. I have found that if a guy with a small penis makes it a point to date women with small hands, he usually will find one who knows how to work her body to the best of possible enjoyment for not only herself, but for her partner as well.
    If a guy runs into one who insists he is too small for her, he needs to consider himself fortunate to have found it out before he has invested much in the relationship such as matrimony.
    Regarding “women who have been around”, are the guys deriding this saying they would prefer a woman nobody else would want?

  41. Sizest-too Says:

    I would be ecstatic with 4-6″. I am a 50 yr old woman who just had sex for the first time with a 53 yr old man who had been married 25 years and will be divorced this month. Before we had sex he talked about what he would do to me. Well, he was less than three inches, maybe less than two and he was basically humping my leg while telling me how madly in love he was with me. There was no thinking about me. The things that he claimed to do were lies. He even asked me if I felt him. He wasn’t even inside me (and I am tight by the way)I tried to get him to try different positions. He thought the sex was great. I ran out of there and I ended it with him because I couldn’t tell him that the real reason was that sex was terrible. He asked. I told him we were both not at our best, that we weren’t compatible (he kept pressing me) that I didn’t feel the same way about him. I was worried about his excessive sweating. It never occured to me that he would be so small. Oral is great, but I like a good f**k, and I like it past the outer part of my vagina. If I wanted just oral or a dildo I could be a lesbian. I know I am not perfect but I am looking for perfect FOR ME. Perfection is different for everyone. Life is too short to spend it with someone you don’t want to have sex with, don’t you think? And while sex can suffer because of various issues, there should still be that desire of wanting to rip someone’s clothes off. I don’t know what I should have told him. I feel like I am too old to have to train someone in the art of lovemaking. I always thought that at this age it should come pretty naturally. He also started talking about his ex AND his mother in the short time we were in bed together. A total turn off. I know there is a woman out there that he will make happy. I just wish he would realize it. Shoot, we have only known each other for a month so I am not sure why he keeps pursuing me or how he could have been so madly in love. Do any men have any thoughts on this situation, besides telling me I am a terrible person? I have never encountered this issue before. Any women agree? He wants to be friends, but I don’t see any good coming out of that. Thanks.

  42. richard ludwig Says:

    also in my situation, i feel that i would be better off with disabled women because they would be a lot more honest with me than ”normal” women and would make it a whole lot easier to click, relate, and maybe fall in love. does that make sense or is there something screwed up with my logic?

  43. Jaime Says:

    Madamoselle L.

    I can see you voice your preference for the unconditional support one member is arguing with another.

    You argue about the term “slut”. I do not consider a woman that enjoys her sex life and has male sexual friends a slut. As long as she is enjoying their company and respecting them, she is entittled to enjoy her sexuality with mutual respect.

    Contrary to that definition, a woman that sleeps with men, with the one and only intention to screen men off based on the size of their penis ( which apparently average is not ok, it has to be a large one), while she heralds this message outright, slighting and belittling men that do not conform to her standards, in direct form or vicariously, by simply never talking to them again after that scouting sexual experience in which she determined that guy was not Long Dong Silver.
    That kind of a woman, that empty headed scrotum brained woman is a slut. Do not give me a speech about how much the word slut offends women. The kind of woman that I define as slut is not the average everyday woman, she is a garbage case that most often I never get to see.
    So far I encountered her at this site. Women that herald and proudly display an attitude of entittlement and boorish concept of love and relationships.
    And, because there are women that herald that message of hate, of humilliation, ( because telling 90% of males in this planet that they are not good enough is sufficient proof of hatred and slightous tendencies )… then I think it is just fair to herald a message that only 10* women could even consider making such outlandish demands.
    I see the double standard, a woman saying that an average guy is small, that she only gets satisfied with Xlarge cocks, and all the malice and hatred that those comments spew around is a “lady that deserves to say what she thinks”. But a guy that says: No fat chicks, no cellulite, no sagging boobs, no dark pussies, etc, that guy is mean.
    A woman that seeds that message of scorn about penis size is as rotten piece of garbage.

  44. Madamoselle L Says:

    UG, OK one more post, then I am done.

    jake said: “I never said anybody on here DEMANDED to be with a big dicked guy. (MY RESPONSE, that’s right NOBODY SAID THIS, So WHY do you insist on saying this is happening or talking about it?)

    jake goes on: “There are size queens out there who do however, they’ll refuse to sleep with a guy who isn’t big. (MY RESPONSE: “really, you KNOW this? HOW? Nobody here EVER said that.”) jake again: Those type of people better be spectacular looking themselves” (My response: LOL!)

    and jamie said: “a woman that sleeps with men, with the one and only intention to screen men off based on the size of their penis ( which apparently average is not ok, it has to be a large one), while she heralds this message outright, slighting and belittling men that do not conform to her standards”

    Who ARE these women? WHERE are these women? Do they actually exist? I haven’t heard from one on this page. I don’t know any in real life who act like you are describing. (PREFERENCES? YES. Complete avoidance of or humiliation of a man who isn’t enormous? No, I know of NO women who do this.)

    My guess is they are a figment of an imagination rent with insecurity or lack of knowledge about how to treat the female of the species, then blame their lack of skill in and out of the bedroom on HER and an imaginary reason when the congress doesn’t go as planned. (Kinda like those guys who keep hitting on you in bars, and then, rather than realizing their method of attempting to woo a female as ridiculous, call you either “SLUT!” or better yet, “Dyke!” because you really aren’t interested in them. And, yeah, THEY exist, ask ANY woman who has ever….left the house.)

    Some women actually “never talking to him again” due to his penis size? REALLY? (I am doing some eye rolling here.) I would investigate OTHER reasons why, and do not blame it on that. Unless a woman actually SAYS something (and I have never met one who would) you don’t know that’s the reason, it most likely ISN’T the reason at all, and I would consider other reasons for no second date……

    This is getting silly. The insecurity in this room is overwhelming. A man who treats women well, and knows how to make love, and cares about his partner’s satisfaction is not worrying about the mythical hate filled “size queen slut” who might never “speak” to him again, for no other reason than the size of his Sex. Really, it’s not the way things go. If a woman doesn’t SPEAK to you again after having sex with you ONCE, it AIN’T your DONG, love. I can pretty much guarantee it.

    As for jamie’s comments: “Do not give me a speech about how much the word slut offends women.” Um, I didn’t. (Why? Did you expect it? Because that is why certain men USE the word in the first place. I couldn’t care less. I think it’s kinda cute.)

    I said the way it was used HERE by some of the members was NOT Sex Positive, when paired with phrases like “filthy diseases” and what not. LOL!

    jamie said: “The kind of woman that I define as slut is not the average everyday woman, she is a garbage case that most often I never get to see.” Then HOW do you know this, again, mythical “size-queen-slut creature who rejects men on one aspect alone” exists?

    Of course you are welcome to use words “how you define them.” ie “make up definitions for words already in common usage” (But don’t expect others to necessarily agree.) Heck, J.K Rowling made millions out of inventing mythical creatures, although she never blamed one of them for her lack of second dates….And I would HOPE you wouldn’t “Define “slut” as “the average everyday woman.” (Some guys do…why would one need to clarify that?)

    Enough. It’s beyond silly at this point. You two are talking about “some women” who appear not to exist,(at least not in any significant numbers) and have certainly not related the type or behavior or thought processes on THIS site (or anywhere else) you seem to be railing against.

    WHY the need to vent hatred against a rather blurry behavior which was NEVER in evidence here, or elsewhere?

    I think about everything that needs to be said about this subject has been.

  45. Jaime Says:

    I had a good time reading your reply. It is entertaining to read how much you try to explain the problem caused by those Long Dong Silver crap preaching women with insecurity.
    I see insecurity in your adamant defense of the untenable.
    This thread, as well as a similar one, and plenty of stuff in the internet and in real life, has plenty of comments from women that claim that5 size matters, that only X large men satisfy them and the rest of that trash.
    Idiotic ideology equal to a man saying that only a perfect looking pussy in a perfect looking woman is acceptable.
    You start saying that you never said this, you never said that. This is directed to the Long Dong Silver women in general, not at you as an individual, so do not try to evade the issue by trying to portray others wrong on ludicrous technicallities.
    These women that you try to portray as inmaginary in an effort to add sarcasm and derison into the issue are the woman that outright profess their ideology that 90% of men are inadequate.
    A lot of women enjoy saying those things apparently, be it for reason of slighting men, or because they really believed the porn movies they saw in their teen age years at home while mom and pop where dinning in the dinning room, to the point that stupidly they think that all men are or should be 9 inches plus.
    Your term “you two” is beyond me. I speak for myself, not for “Those two”, your “imaginary” nemesis.
    You insist on calling this issue imaginary. I do not care if there are woman that say this stuff and profess it, but lets be clear, if some women think that making those hatred comments about men are fun and show only the right a woman has to be satisfied in bed, then , by the same token, no fat chicks, no cellulite, no dark pussies, no short women, in other words, those things you can not change about yourself are the things that disqualify that woman from enjoying her life. Why?, not because men are mean, but, ( learnt from the female gender ) because we have the right to be satisfied in bed.

  46. jake Says:

    There’s shit posted in this very site. The women who sent the letter saying 6 inches is small, and some other women in the previous page saying a man who’s 5 inches long can’t satisfy any women. Every person has a preference, but when a women says this, it’s a kick in teeth to some men who don’t have porn dicks. As far as I know, 5 and 6 inches are average but according to these two women they are small.

    A bit like me saying a centre fold girl is too fat and I’ll only date a girl with a supermodel build.

    Imagine the outrage if a guy wrote “my girlfriends too fat, she weighs 120 pounds, my previous girlfriend only weighed 90″. All the feminists would be screaming their sexist little asses off.

  47. richard ludwig Says:

    you also have to be happy and settle with what the man upstairs gave you and shut the f+++ up. if the girls are not happy with what you got – then just tell them to shut the f+++ up, show them the door and kick them to the curb BEFORE THEY DO IT TO YOU!

  48. Chris Says:

    Yes..little guys with big dicks is hard to find…I am 5′ 6′ tall, weighs 130 lbs..my dick size is 8 inch long and 5 inch grith noe thats cool…race and culture does play a part.

  49. Jen Says:

    I have been with the small (less the 5″), average (6″ or so) and large (about 8″+). The small was not enough .. he lasted about 5 minutes (not normal .. or so I think) but lots of oral sex. The large actually hurt (we were not together long enough to learn what worked .. but seeing how he was older you think he would know) And in the end I have the ‘average’ guy. We fit perfect together and I don’t know if it can get any better… he drives me crazy. My advise .. size does not matter give them all a try, you need to find someone compatible and knows how to please you .. large is not always better.

  50. Barb Says:

    I went from dating a very well endowed man to dating a well… not so well endowed man. I was shocked at first too. He was without a doubt the smallest man I had ever dated. To my amazement, he was also the most gifted lover I have ever had. His insecurity over his penis size caused him to really work on his other skills.
    Our relationship ended a few months ago and I still find my mind wandering back to our love making sessions. I never think of Mr. Well Endowed. It’s true what the ladies tell you guys. “It’s not what you have but how you use it”.


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