In news that will probably be surprising only to the male readers of this site, a recent study found that expensive cars don’t really impress the ladies. Researchers in Australia measured changes in the brain responses of women toward a range of men in different cars. Turns out a man having a mid-life crisis in a Porsche is still a man having a mid-life crisis. And a hottie surfer is a turn-on even if he has to take the bus. Apparently one of the “biggest surprises” of the study was that the classic MG Roadster car turned women’s heads when it was empty, but failed to impress if a dude was driving it. Well, that’s only surprising if it has never occurred to you that women are more likely to fantasize about driving a classic sports car than they are about dating a man who owns one. And an insecure man in the throes of a mid-life crisis kind of spoils that fantasy. What’s next — scientists demonstrating that crotch-rocket motorbikes don’t actually increase the size of your penis?