Comments on: Wise Guys: How Should a Woman Pick Up a Man in a Bar?

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:34:41 +0000

Daniel said: “Wouldn’t your heart just melt if you met a genuinely straight guy who loved shopping for clothes and talking about it?” LOL!

No Dan, I’d be suspicious. (Wow, 5 dates and he hasn’t tried anything yet. What a gentleman. ) Dated some guys, spent my college years as a….hag, (probably still am, according to some friends) and I have yet to meet a straight guy who really likes to shop for clothes. *sigh* That’s why we have Gay Friends. (Well among other reasons.)

I’m serious, the last time I tried to get my Man to go clothes shopping with me (for a wedding on HIS side of the family) he continued to stare at the TV and mumbled, “Don’t you have a Gay Friend you can call?” So I did.

My Man shops for his own clothes with the speed and grim determination of Hercules cleaning the Aegean Stables. RUNS through the store, pulling things off racks, barely glancing at the tags, throwing them over his arm (because he forgot to get a cart, “I only came in for two things.”) and races to the checkout, with his jaw set, in 3 minutes flat…..with only the two things he came in for.

He prefers if I just pick up “anything” for him while I am out shopping, when I start to find holes in clothing, “Damn, I’ve only had these jeans since my Junior year.” (he’s nearly 50.)

By: Rob

Rob — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:44:58 +0000

I’ve got to admit, as i’m writing a book, i actually came on here to get some insight into how women flirt and show signs of interest; but the points they make about men are very true. If you want a one nighter, then be a bit more superficial and outgoing; because, you’ll be more likely to have success with people who are looking for the same. However; if you are looking for something more, then use flirtation, etc, as nothing more than a catalyst for striking up a conversation with the right person and showing him a deeper side of yourself…at this point, they’ll give some sort of subconscious clue as to where their interests lie. For instance; a man only looking for sex will act like a dear in the headlights if you throw a surprising act (i.e. offering him a drink) at him. This is because the man has a game plan; and it works because the girls he picks up will normally act in a very mechanical manner; and if you throw an emotional curveball at him, you can identify him immediately.

Try it

By: liljay

liljay — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:09:45 +0000

i got 2 say if a women came up 2 me and offered 2 buy me a drink i wouldn’t b intimidated at all actually that would b down right sexy and if she looked good it would def. b on.. so ladies thats probly the best way 2 go about it.. atlest wit me

By: frantzy Acluche

frantzy Acluche — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:42:39 +0000

I’m a straight 19 year old guy and I think that a girl can just be upfront with it all. Just tell us you are interested and ask for us to get you a drink (that could be a sign that you would not rule out drunken sex or you want to chat.) I really like it when girls ask me out, it’s less work specially if you already find the girl attractive (everybody wins)..I think that all modern day guys (guys who are not afraid of a strong independent woman) would love it if we kept getting asked out by women instead of us doing the chasing all the time; because frankly it gets a little exhausting after a while. Or it could just be me, I love women but the whole process of getting them to fall for my lies and stupid game is just a huge hassle. If it was possible to just get them without all the work why would I say no

By: Juan Manuel

Juan Manuel — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:42:25 +0000

I think Daniel’s idea is pretty good, because it’s new and unexpected. However, I think straight men are scared of strong independent women. So I’m not sure the whole ‘her buying him a drink thing’ would really work in the real world.

I love the columns. Keep the good work, guys!

By: PhD Guy

PhD Guy — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:00:18 +0000

Great advice, wise guys! I think Daniel’s approach is quite refreshing and unconventional. That whole scene he described of a lady coming up and offering to buy a drink…totally hot and sexy.

By: joy

joy — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:30:28 +0000

i’m with daniel. dudes love ladies who talk sports!

By: nic

nic — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 18:00:23 +0000

First, let me say, I love the Wise Guys columns – I only wish it had been around when I was still trying to figure out my huband (thankfully after 16 years, we’ve got it worked out). I have a single friend my age (not a hypothetical friend, I promise) who is very successful and would rather not be single. She has no hesitation asking men out, but her impression is that most guys aren’t comfortable with women being the “aggressor” for anything other than a booty call, particularly in public.

I’m not sure if it is because men over 40 (our age group) favour more traditional roles, or perhaps it’s just the type of guy she’s attracted to. Any thoughts? Do guys prefer being the one who asks?

By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 02:28:35 +0000

I feel like in a relaxed bar scene, if the guy’s really interested, he’ll probably follow up on any subtle flirtation you give. I’m all for asking the guy out, but in this sort of setting, unless the guy is terribly shy (which, in that case he’d probably be scared to even make eye contact with you), he won’t need much coaxing to ask for your number–IF, like I said, he’s really interested. In my opinion, coming on too strong in a bar might indicate you’re only looking for a one-night stand. Which, if you are, go for it! Who cares if you’re rejected then.
I thinking simply striking up a conversation is always a good way to go. If the guy’s into you, he won’t be too picky about what the conversation topic is