Comments on: Confession: I Don’t Do Handjobs http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/ Your daily dose of advice, news, and stories about sex, love, and other important stuff. No yoga mat required. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 22:33:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: james http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4405 james Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:14:48 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4405 I woul not mind, and I would enjoy a handjob very much. I think the point in here is not if it is an ejoyable practice, I am sure the girl enjoys giving a handjob ( those that do like giving it ) as well as the guy enjoys feeling her soft hands on his body. The issue in this article, I think, is that the guy seems to have been annoyed or dissappointed at the girl because apparently she could not bring him to cum. That would be a very ummature guy, to act in that manner. One thing is a man, and another a boy, so girls, you have to understand that fact. A man would never be pissed just because his GF could not make him cum through a handjob. That is laughable. I woul not mind, and I would enjoy a handjob very much. I think the point in here is not if it is an ejoyable practice, I am sure the girl enjoys giving a handjob ( those that do like giving it ) as well as the guy enjoys feeling her soft hands on his body.
The issue in this article, I think, is that the guy seems to have been annoyed or dissappointed at the girl because apparently she could not bring him to cum.
That would be a very ummature guy, to act in that manner. One thing is a man, and another a boy, so girls, you have to understand that fact.
A man would never be pissed just because his GF could not make him cum through a handjob. That is laughable.

]]> By: papertiger http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4402 papertiger Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:57:41 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4402 Strangely, handjobs are the only thing I'm ambidextrous at. It's very useful when one arm gets tired; the other can take over. That being said, I don't know if I'm particularly good or bad at them. My boyfriend has taken over the job near the end quite a few times, and it's understandable. You can only wait so long when it's so much easier to do it yourself. I don't much mind that he does it for himself. It just means that I can do the same when the roles are reversed. I have to say that I am a fan of giving hand jobs, as far as a sex thing where it's about my partner goes. Strangely, handjobs are the only thing I’m ambidextrous at. It’s very useful when one arm gets tired; the other can take over. That being said, I don’t know if I’m particularly good or bad at them. My boyfriend has taken over the job near the end quite a few times, and it’s understandable. You can only wait so long when it’s so much easier to do it yourself. I don’t much mind that he does it for himself. It just means that I can do the same when the roles are reversed. I have to say that I am a fan of giving hand jobs, as far as a sex thing where it’s about my partner goes.

]]> By: Candice http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4397 Candice Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:02:43 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4397 Mega cool! I'm good at something that girls are rarely good at! I'm not naturally dextrous, so I'm suprised. I read up a lot of stuff online before trying and "worked" with my boyfriend to discover what he liked. Cool! Cool! Cool! Mega cool! I’m good at something that girls are rarely good at! I’m not naturally dextrous, so I’m suprised. I read up a lot of stuff online before trying and “worked” with my boyfriend to discover what he liked. Cool! Cool! Cool!

]]> By: figleaf http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4391 figleaf Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:08:49 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4391 Doh! And if it's not clear I'm agreeing with Abby about why there are easier ways to get someone off. What started out as a simple comment turned into its own post. Apologies. And last comment. figleaf p.s. :-) Doh! And if it’s not clear I’m agreeing with Abby about why there are easier ways to get someone off. What started out as a simple comment turned into its own post. Apologies. And last comment.

figleaf

p.s. :-)

]]> By: figleaf http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4390 figleaf Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:03:51 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4390 <em>Complete aside: Ooh do I hate those little automatic smiley-conversions! As research at Carnage Mellon demonstrated in the early 1980s, the use of emotion-carrying icons is important to disambiguate light-heartedness from intentional snark in text. But that doesn't mean we need to blow them up into bright yellow comics to get the point across. End of rant. Um. Colon/hyphen/closed-paren. :-) -fl</em> Complete aside: Ooh do I hate those little automatic smiley-conversions! As research at Carnage Mellon demonstrated in the early 1980s, the use of emotion-carrying icons is important to disambiguate light-heartedness from intentional snark in text. But that doesn’t mean we need to blow them up into bright yellow comics to get the point across. End of rant. Um. Colon/hyphen/closed-paren. :-) -fl

]]> By: figleaf http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4389 figleaf Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:58:09 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4389 I sort of held off waiting to hear other people's comments before leaving my own. But based on what's been said so far I think the big surprise ought to be where people (who haven't tried it) ever got the idea handjobs for men are easy. And please don't worry about it or feel dumb for not knowing -- you're so not the only one it's not funny. I think it's sort of a natural mistake. Very young men can be pretty quick to ejaculate, and unless I'm really mistaken handjobs are most common really early in sexual relationship formation. Conversely handjobs fall out of favor pretty quickly once men, and their partners, begin to add penetrative acts to their repertoire. Add in the mistaken observation that if <em>he</em> can rub one out in a minute or two then it ought to be easy for her. (Most men, if you think about it, take months and even years to figure out how to do it the first time too!) Yes, there are men for whom handjobs are easy and rewarding, and there are women for whom it comes naturally. But out of all the times I've had sex with partners I can think of only one or two times that someone managed to find the right spots, and the right rhythms, and had the interest, and the stamina, to get me all the way off -- and not just warm me up -- with just her hands. That said, if you've actually been bruising your partner? Back off! There are some (not most) kinksters that might work for but even though almost all men like firmer pressure than most women would, but if you're being rough enough to leave marks you're also being *way* too rough to get him off. Point being "try harder next time" is *not* the solution to every problem! :-) figleaf I sort of held off waiting to hear other people’s comments before leaving my own. But based on what’s been said so far I think the big surprise ought to be where people (who haven’t tried it) ever got the idea handjobs for men are easy. And please don’t worry about it or feel dumb for not knowing — you’re so not the only one it’s not funny.

I think it’s sort of a natural mistake. Very young men can be pretty quick to ejaculate, and unless I’m really mistaken handjobs are most common really early in sexual relationship formation. Conversely handjobs fall out of favor pretty quickly once men, and their partners, begin to add penetrative acts to their repertoire. Add in the mistaken observation that if he can rub one out in a minute or two then it ought to be easy for her. (Most men, if you think about it, take months and even years to figure out how to do it the first time too!)

Yes, there are men for whom handjobs are easy and rewarding, and there are women for whom it comes naturally. But out of all the times I’ve had sex with partners I can think of only one or two times that someone managed to find the right spots, and the right rhythms, and had the interest, and the stamina, to get me all the way off — and not just warm me up — with just her hands.

That said, if you’ve actually been bruising your partner? Back off! There are some (not most) kinksters that might work for but even though almost all men like firmer pressure than most women would, but if you’re being rough enough to leave marks you’re also being *way* too rough to get him off. Point being “try harder next time” is *not* the solution to every problem! :-)

figleaf

]]> By: Leigh Olivia http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4385 Leigh Olivia Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:06:43 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4385 Register a hearty 'disagree!' over this way. it sounds like everyone is not giving the penis nearly enough credit as a complex sexual organ. yeah, i know, all the stand-up comics would have us believe that men's bits and pieces are about as complicated as a self-adhesive postage stamp, but come on...that's not really so, is it? sure, sometimes a guy is in the mood for jackhammering pump-pump-pumping as you put it, but how many guys really only want jackhammer vaginal, anal or oral intercourse? plenty of gentler, non-arm-cramping motions can be super for guys (i'm basing this on feedback, not having the requisite equipment myself) and lead to an orgasm just fine, in my experience. Register a hearty ‘disagree!’ over this way. it sounds like everyone is not giving the penis nearly enough credit as a complex sexual organ. yeah, i know, all the stand-up comics would have us believe that men’s bits and pieces are about as complicated as a self-adhesive postage stamp, but come on…that’s not really so, is it? sure, sometimes a guy is in the mood for jackhammering pump-pump-pumping as you put it, but how many guys really only want jackhammer vaginal, anal or oral intercourse? plenty of gentler, non-arm-cramping motions can be super for guys (i’m basing this on feedback, not having the requisite equipment myself) and lead to an orgasm just fine, in my experience.

]]> By: Katie http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4379 Katie Thu, 27 Aug 2009 07:04:03 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4379 I've only given a full-on handjob once--the guy was pretty clear that's what he wanted (he was saving sex for marriage). obvi lube really helps. I didn't think it was that difficult to make him cum (this was my first sexual experience of any kind), but he was actually shocked when I was able to do it! I always joke that's why you want a girl who weight lifts because she has the stamina to finish it out--scrawny arms aren't good for much when it comes to sex ;) I totally wouldn't mind doing it again but I think most guys don't object when a girl jumps straight to oral and just uses her hands as accessories. And, it seems like a lot of guys automatically assume a girl would suck at giving a "full" hand job. I’ve only given a full-on handjob once–the guy was pretty clear that’s what he wanted (he was saving sex for marriage). obvi lube really helps. I didn’t think it was that difficult to make him cum (this was my first sexual experience of any kind), but he was actually shocked when I was able to do it! I always joke that’s why you want a girl who weight lifts because she has the stamina to finish it out–scrawny arms aren’t good for much when it comes to sex ;) I totally wouldn’t mind doing it again but I think most guys don’t object when a girl jumps straight to oral and just uses her hands as accessories. And, it seems like a lot of guys automatically assume a girl would suck at giving a “full” hand job.

]]> By: Heather http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4377 Heather Thu, 27 Aug 2009 06:04:13 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4377 Speaking as a 19 year old, communication does lack for those who just jump into the sexual parts of relationships. We think its awkward and we want them to think we know what we are doing, even if we don't. But, I have never given a handjob with the intent to make them cum. It has always been the beginning for me. Speaking as a 19 year old, communication does lack for those who just jump into the sexual parts of relationships. We think its awkward and we want them to think we know what we are doing, even if we don’t. But, I have never given a handjob with the intent to make them cum. It has always been the beginning for me.

]]> By: Abby http://www.emandlo.com/2009/08/confession-i-dont-do-handjobs/comment-page-1/#comment-4372 Abby Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:29:48 +0000 http://www.emandlo.com/?p=5168#comment-4372 Hey ya'll- I agree. Everyone likes to be touched. However, younger folks these days are awkward, confused and under pressure. Sadly, communication is not always high on their to-do list. It is widely believed that handjobs HAVE to end in explosion. Those are the kind of handjobs I am vetoing. Casual and comfortable petting with someone I love? Sure! I'm just not there yet. So for now, I am giving up on pump-pump-pumping. I'll just go to the gym for my work out. -abby Hey ya’ll-
I agree. Everyone likes to be touched. However, younger folks these days are awkward, confused and under pressure. Sadly, communication is not always high on their to-do list. It is widely believed that handjobs HAVE to end in explosion. Those are the kind of handjobs I am vetoing. Casual and comfortable petting with someone I love? Sure! I’m just not there yet. So for now, I am giving up on pump-pump-pumping. I’ll just go to the gym for my work out.

-abby

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