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Dr. Kate: I Orgasm in My Sleep

Thu, Aug 13, 2009

Advice, What's Up Doc?

eye_sleepingphoto by Photos8.com

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

I’ll just cut right to the chase: I have orgasms in my sleep, what can be called “wet dreams.” When I dream something erotic (even if it’s just my husband and I having sex), not only do I become aroused, but I have actual orgasms. I would say I have several wet dreams a month.

Now, I’m not complaining — it’s kind of awesome, to be honest! — but I want to know how common this is amongst women? Because I’ve never heard of women having wet dreams. Men, yes…women, no. Although, my own husband hasn’t ever had a wet dream. I find that strange, because I always thought that men are the only ones to have them.

So what’s the deal?

– Sexy Sleeper

Dear S.S.,

You’re not alone. The 1950s sex researcher Alfred Kinsey estimated that 40% of women will experience an orgasm while asleep before the age of 45. And these unconscious orgasms seem to be more common as we get older (something to look forward to!). The going theory is that during sleep, our normal inhibitions don’t hold us back, so things that we find erotic — even if disturbing or “forbidden” — will arouse us in a way that wouldn’t happen while we’re awake. And women may climax faster when asleep, for the same reason. For good or bad, these orgasms are not usually voluntary or under conscious control — so there’s no point in trying to prevent them.

Having orgasms while sleeping is not a sign of sexual dysfunction, and they’re not a comment on the quality (or quantity) of your sex life. While there’s some crazy psychoanalytic research out there about what sleep orgasms signify, I think they’re just a sign of a highly tuned sexual system, one that’s built for our pleasure round the clock. So enjoy!

Best of health,

Dr. Kate

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

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37 Responses to “Dr. Kate: I Orgasm in My Sleep”

  1. Regina Says:

    I’ve have ‘wet dreams’ as well. I can remember having them as a teenager and have never been bothered by them. I always wake up in a nicer mood…. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.

  2. tara Says:

    i get them almost everyday and if i get to take a mid day nap, usually orgasm 6-7 times in that dream!!! its awesome!! but good to know im not weird!

  3. Alexis Says:

    Lucky you. I just wake up aroused and frustrated.

  4. rolisela9 Says:

    it happens to me once in a blue moon, i have a sweet dream and i can literaly feel myself touching my parts or humping the bed.. its weird, but i have gotten off, just hope my man didn’t witness it. i’d be slightly embarassed.. (humping the bed) lol!

  5. Paulina Says:

    Hello Doctor,
    I write because I am very frustrated, im 21 years old and been sexually active for 3 years, but I have never ever had an orgasm while awake. Not with a partner and not by myself either, BUT, I have had orgasms in my sleep.
    Does this mean that I have no physiological problem? Since I am apparently capable of orgasm, just have never had one awake. It makes me really sad.
    When I touch myself, my whole body gets really tensed up, but I never reach an orgasm for I must stop before I get one because I feel a weird, almost pain, uncomfortable feeling on my vagina. What is happening? I hope you can help

  6. Unicornicopia Says:

    I’m only 17 and sometimes I get an orgasm while sleeping. But the particularly strange thing is, it’s never happened during a sex-related dream. They just occur if I’m having an intense dream, like if I’m running away from someone, or any nerve wracking dream. It’s like I’m building all this tension and then suddenly I release it and it feels so dang good. So I’m pretty sure it’s an orgasm, even though I’ve never experienced a real one before.

  7. valarie Says:

    Hi I have just recently been experiencing orgasms in. My sleep at first they feel good but intense pain immedatly follows. I’ve stopped my sex life for a year now and I have sex occasionally cause my boyfriend looks like he’s at he’s no sex limit lol. The reason why I stopped with sexual activity is beacaues I have extremely painful orgasms and painful sex with penitration. This started about a year ago I have had a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis ( test was inconclusive). Anyways I. Don’t want orgams they hurt how do I stop them? Or better how can I fix myself so they don’t hurt anymore? I want to have sex again!

  8. dallas Says:

    Not strange at all! I too have had orgasms in my sleep; in fact today, during a nap, I had a sexual dream and was so close but unable to climax, but upon waking up I was able to finish myself off in about 15 seconds. I’ve found that if I haven’t masturbated in awhile, I will orgasm in my sleep. Sometimes I will masturbate during the day then orgasm in my dreams later that night, so I guess it just depends on how much pleasure my body desires at any given time.

  9. chacho Says:

    I had a “wet dream” and during my dream state i was having sex then the inside pleasure part became all to real and when i was ripped to consciousness my penis was cumming in my shorts!!! I remember seeing all white all white between the transition of my dream state and actual consciousness and there was a smell that was not really there but was being made up by my imagination

  10. sar Says:

    I get them anytime I sleep for longer than 8 hours. I will be sleeping I’m and my dream will turn from pg to created and It’ll build up into one big orgasm.. if I don’t wake up right away whatever is having sex with me in my dream, I’ll actually feel them enter me… and in those cases its really intense and almost hurts upon awakening…I’ll wake up jumping the bed and pamting. I feel something might be wrong though cause in the dream its usually with unattractive fat bald PR bearded men, I’ll get my boyfriends friends once in a while, but its never with my boyfriend… and I’m not a cheater… anyways, it only happens when I sleep in.

  11. sar Says:

    My auto correct screwd up my grammar, I said my dream will go from pg to x rated *

  12. Brit Says:

    I just experienced this last night. I wasn’t even having a sexy dream. I dreamt I was sitting on the arm of a couch, and it hit me the right way, and it gave me an orgasm. Thing is, I have never had an orgasm while awake, and I’m only assuming I had an orgasm in my sleep because it felt SO good. Better than anything I’ve ever experienced. Is there something wrong with me?? Help!

  13. Dr. Franceen King Says:

    Some of you might be interested in my new book, “Waking into “The Big O – a New Look at Sleep-Related Female Orgasms” available from my website or Amazon. As far as I can tell, it is the largest study of women sleep orgasm experiencers since Kinsey’s, with data and commentary from women ages 15 to 85. Some of the information is really ground-breaking. While it appears that more women are experiencing these at younger ages, many don’t start until pregnancy or menopause. And 10% of the SRFO experiencers from my survey report that these are the ONLY orgasms they have ever experienced at any age.

  14. Timika Says:

    March 18 2013 I was taking a nap and out of no where I had the best orgasms I ever had and it was so big that it woke me up if only I could feel that while having actual intercourse .

  15. Renee Says:

    I’ve recently been experiencing orgasms in my sleep. I’m 13 weeks pregnant, and have placenta previa. currently not allowed to have sex. since this has been discovered (the previa), I began having erotic dreams that end in real orgasms. I know the female “wet dream” is quite normal and common. Wh at worries me is that I’m on complete pelvic rest, mraning no orgasms, either. I guess my mind and body don’t agree. Hoping these nightly climaxes aren’t putting my baby, or myself, at higher risk.

  16. autumn Says:

    What’s the youngest your supposed to have wet dreams as a girl because I have been having them for a long time n I’m 25 now but been having orgasms in my sleep since before I was supposed to I think. Am I weird? Should I talk to a doctor about this

  17. tiarra Says:

    I orgasm in my sleep without even dreaming about sex, I just wake up to my body climaxing my clitoris pulsating!!

  18. Dave Says:

    Watched my wife this morning next to me breathing heavy as she does when she’s excited and coming close to orgasm. It appeared she never woke up but at one point moved her hand to her crotch and very slightly massaged herself. She only did this for maybe ten seconds and them rolled over and snored a little. She denied doing this and was a little angry, I dont know why. my only worry is that I am not giving her the pleasure she needs. She is multiorgasmic with my tongue, toys, and penetration. I am on the small size but the head of my penis hits her g spot with every stroke. I hope I am not filling some need of hers to cause these sleep orgasms. She is beginning menopause and it is interesting that sleeping orgasms increase as she gets older. I wonder if this a natural reaction to mans increased chances of ED as he ages. Just doesn’t seem far to me, women have multiple orgasms and then can continue long after their man is limp or dead and buried. On the other hand I guess it makes up for all the premature ejaculations you put up with when we men were young, and don’t try to deny it guys.

  19. Donna Gagnon Says:

    I am 52 years old and I’ve been starting to experience sleep orgasms. (I had to Google search to see if anyone else has been experiencing the same.) Second time this has happened. Like Tiarra, I also experience the sleep orgasms without dreaming about sex. Early morning, (approx 5:00) I woke up to my body climaxing my clitoris pulsating! As I am typing this, I feel pulsating. Life was good before this, and even better now!!! I hope there is so much more to cum! Pun intended :-)

  20. sarah Says:

    I am 21 years old and I recall in the past waking up to being incredibly aroused! Well The other Day I woke up Having an actual orgasm. Kinda Freaked me out but was pleasurable at the same time.

  21. miss lala Says:

    I am 26 and I have had 2 major orgasms in my sleep this year. I have an active sex life and I orgasm everytime I and my partner have sex because he is that good. But the orgasms I have in my sleep actually shake me up and my secretion is waaaay more when I go to wash up. I thank God I am not the only one going through this. It feels good tho.

  22. Sarah doser Says:

    Wow I thought I was the only one .. I’ve never climaxed with a guy… Only by masterbation … And in my dream, I dreamt that I was having sex.. The guy pulled in and out about 5 times and right away I came, my clit was pulsating like never before .. I wish it was that simple to orgasm with a guy but nop, never has happened, and that’s cuz my boyfriend has a huge ding dong, even if I’m on top I won’t come.. .. How is it that in my dream as soon as they put it in it feels so good and right away I come not even 5 seconds later.. And in real life I can go at it all night and no climax for me :(

  23. Marie Says:

    I woke up this morning twice because I had 2 orgasms in my sleep.. I think it was 2 within 30 minutes.. This wasn’t the first time it happened but it’s the first time I actually understood what was going on. I am so glad this is normal and happens to many others. It’s a great feeling you don’t even have to be dreaming or thinking about sex or anything sexual. I am 21.

  24. Khalil higgins Says:

    I don’t know if I even had a wet dream but when I’m having sex in a dream and about to reach climax my goes numb everything goes black and that’s it no more dream like my body is telling me not to have an orgasim in my sleep I don’t know what to do it’s still confusing to me

  25. David Says:

    Update. I’m annoyed that my wife chose to “nap” today than be with me and BOB, battery operated boyfriend. Observed her having great big orgasms during her nap. So big they woke her up and she caught me watching. Now she pissed at me?? Really. She could have had time with me but spend them in never-never land with whom ever. Damn. And as far as my size. I’ve been working on it. Phallosan ladies. Gained almost an inch in seven months

  26. Billy Says:

    DR. KATE, I have been married for 20 years, my wife and I are both 42 year old. In January 2014 we were packing up to move out of our house, we were sleeping on an air mattress and I heard my wife rubbing herself down there. Within the next two months her schedule has become very apparent to me. She is still masturbating 3 to 4 times a night on a two hour shedule and she is climaxing every time. If i say something while she is rubbing, she answers but does not continue to rub herself.
    when I first noticed it I asked her about it she became very angry and denied it, and now (once in a short while) we just discuss it but she still denies it. She tells me it must be in her sleep. She either rubbs here breast to climax or her bottom to climax. Every time it has come up, she totally denies it.

    After she climaxes, her breathing is very heavy, and her heart is bounding.

    Ever since this has started, have gone through so many different emotions. I don’t believe there is any other problems in our marriage either sexual ly or emotionally. Please shed some light on this subject for me. I still hurt mostly because I don’t feel she is being honest.



  27. James Says:

    Clitoris orgasm during sleep without sexy dream? Really worried

  28. Susan Says:

    Hi, I will on Dec. 26 be one year since my period stopped. For a long time I had no desire to have sex. Lately I am so aroused. I have tried to master bate but I can’t have an orgasm. I get so frustrated I just stop. Last night I had an orgasm in my sleep. I don’t recall the dream, but there were men involved. I woke up still climaxing my clit was just pulsing away! I almost cried I was so happy. But the minute I touched myself it stopped. I had NEVER heard of this before. Thanks for the site. I know I’m not alone.

  29. June EA Says:

    Hi :)
    I’m a 21yo girl. Been experiencing orgasms in my dreams probably since I was eleven. I would always dream of a man who would touch me and my whole body would shudder in excitement.
    When I got sexually active, I became very disappointed because I have never experienced such a great orgasm in RL! :(

    I have sex constantly & have had multiple partners, maybe looking for that guy who gives me breath-taking orgasms in my dreams! I hate waking up after such dreams, because I realise the person with me wasn’t real, but what he gave me was real.

  30. June+EA Says:

    I just want to know why I orgasm in my dreams, but never in RL :’(

  31. Roso Says:

    I am 46 years old. For the past six months I have been
    experiencing the most pleasurable orgasms ever.
    Usually, I am not touching myself or dreaming about sex. I have been having orgasms since age since. I was lying on a pillow and felt extreme pleasure. I had no idea why, but felt like it was wrong. As I got older and knew what it was, I would have sexual thoughts for arousal. I’ve masturbated since age six, like I said. I have never had one from penetration and was very diisappointing to my ex husband and I. I never told him I masturbated because I was so embarrassed. When I married my second husband, I could not orgasm thru penetration. I was older and more comfortable discussing sex. I explained to my husband that I had to be lying face down on a pillow by rubbing my clit. So before he climaxed, I would first. I would lie on my belly and he would stick a finger in me as I bumped the pillow and rubbed myself until I climaxed. We could wait a few minutes, I would get excited again,and then he would climax thru penetration. This embarrassed me until I read that some women have never climaxed in their life and some only in dreams. Now at age 46, I climax sometimes twice in one night while sleeping and I sometimes I awake and sometimes I don’t, but I remember. It is the most pleasurable feelings that I ever have. This bothers some people, but just enjoy it. Iove the feeling whether I’m dreaming about sex or not. When it is a dream about sex, I’m still on my belly masturbating, with a partner joining in. Not only are they extreme intense, but last longer. The first two times, I thought it was a dream, now I’m sure it’s a real orgasm. I love having them, I just wish I could have one thru penetration, oral sex, or by my partner just rubbing me. I wish I could have one on my back. The reSon that I think I can’t is because my body is so used to lying on a pillow on my stomach. After reading that some women can’t climax at all, I’m glad I’m able to through masturbation. I have read that this is the only way some others can because they started so young.ike I said, for years, I would feel anxious down there and would lie face down on a pillow and masturbate for pleasure as well as ridding myself from that anxious feeling. It started at six as I mentioned eaier and took years to figure out why. Even them I didn’t know why, I never asked anybody because I felt ashamed and thought it was bad. I never told my first husband unfortunately because he felt inadequate and I’ve never told him. I’m so glad I was more open to my second husband. Sometimes I can easily have multiple orgasms by masturbation. Last night I was lucky enought to have two in my sleep and awoke during two of them. So ladies, don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Just sleep and enjoy. They are wonderful. Excuse mistakes as I don’t have my glasses on.

  32. Amandah Says:

    Mhhh I’ve read your comments guys and I know all about wet dreams or multiply orgasms. The truth is you all have what you call ‚Äúspiritual husband‚ÄĚ its a very wicked sexual‚Äúdemon‚ÄĚ or let me sat satan. It is an attack and you need to be deliverd from that thing because it can destroy your life up to no percent. I know what am talking about most of you will not agree with me,bt I know its the truth. If you’re under that demon attack most of the time you hate your husband for no reason and sometimes you will loose affection towards your husband,you will only enjoy that sex of the night and the thruth is it is so good but it is hell. I was once a victim of a night sex slave, then I accepted Jesus as my lord and saviour and I was deliverd from all that sinful nature and I hv a new life in Christ Jesus, thou that thing still comes to me in the night the difference is now I hv an ability of God to rebuked and cast that demon out of my life in Jesus name. I pray that God may deliver your families and opened your spiritual eyes. When you sleep you suppose to sleep not having sex in your sleep it is not normal. No doctor or any1 can help u without Jesus.

  33. RED Says:

    Get help AmanDUH!!!!

  34. Bittersweet Says:

    I am 63 yrs old. I have not been with a partner for over ten years thus, I live alone. I am sick of periodically humping the bed….it is actually frustrating. It wakes Me up & I feel horrible down there because I can’t release. There is no one usually in My dream but Me. Once in a blue moon it is a faceless Man. It wakes Me up & I feel like crap down there inside. I have been going through menopause for over 10 years so the night sweats are horrible as well as during the day. Does this ever stop???? It is very frustrating.

  35. Bittersweet Says:

    PS….I read Amanda’s comment & I have God in My Life. Have always been a Christian. I have no Husband to even be mad at. I live alone. Haven’t had sex with a Man for over ten years. So I have no sex demon rebelling against My husband because I am single. The sex dreams happen twice a year, not all of the time. I have a picture of Jesus hanging up right in My bedroom. And Mary’s statue in My kitchen. And Jesus on the cross at The inside of My doorway entrance from outside so people who visit can be blessed when they enter My home. So I think the sex slave thing is nonsense. I think Our brains release Our inner sexual desires once in awhile to keep Our hormones in tact. Nothing more…nothing less. Just at age 63 it’s annoying…I have no desire for sex at this age because I have been going through menopause for over ten years.

  36. Bittersweet Says:

    Ps again…..having twice a year sex dreams is surely not destroying My life either.

  37. J.D. Says:


    I 100% agree with Amandah. Being a born-again Christian nor having religious symbols in your home does not prevent the spiritual husband from entering in or manifesting. Even the demons & satan himself believes in Jesus. Having sex isnt the only way for this demon to enter in either. At any point that lust has enteted in, even in the heart, or if your eyes have been compromised by seeing things they shouldnt is potential for this spirit to enter in. This demon also has the ability to lay dormant for many years, or its possible that its been working in dreams or even while you sleep without you knowing it. Having orgasms while sleeping is just one sign. Have you ever felt a presence in your sleep, ever felt like a hand or a body near you while sleep, or that stage of inbetween sleep. It also effects other areas of life too. Its a very jealous & territorial spirit. Look up the incubus spirit for yourself & just read. Seek deliverance because i know from experience too that it’s not only affecting you w orgasms in your sleep.
    I say this with the greatest love & concern for a sister-in-Christ.

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