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Poll: Would You Cheat If You Could Get Away with It?

Tue, Aug 11, 2009

Confessions, Poll

If you could cheat on your committed long-term partner, just once, and it was guaranteed they would never find out, you wouldn’t get an STD or have to deal with an unintended pregnancy, and you’d never see or hear from the fling again, would you?


Can’t see the poll? Click here to take it.

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33 Responses to “Poll: Would You Cheat If You Could Get Away with It?”

  1. Mrs. Shiva Says:

    The guilt would do me in!

  2. TS Says:

    Some people think cheating is great for relationships.

  3. Molly Says:

    I would so much rather talk to my boyfriend first and come to an understanding that allowed occasional flings as long as they were as safe as possible and always secondary to our relationship. It might involve some negotiating about how to make both partners comfortable, but I wouldn’t have to deal with that awful guilty feeling.

  4. james Says:

    I selected the No option.

    If there was something like selecting the outcome of a sutuation, like being able to cheat w/o getting caught, I would rather select the “I would rather rid myself of any cheating desires by improving my relationship to my significant other”.
    Rather than cheating or working at doing it w/o getting caught, lets work at having a better relationship, emotionally, physically, etc.
    Rather than cheating ( if all avenues have been tried ) I would break up / divorse and re start.

  5. Slartibartfast Says:

    I’m just old-fashioned enough to try and treat people as I’d like to be treated. It’s a matter of respect, both for myself and my SO. Whether my partner would ever know about it is irrelevant, since *I* would always know and I don’t want to be that kind of person.

  6. Yatz Says:

    What slartibartfast says: it’s a matter of respect and honesty. Cheating is selective disclosure or a lie of omission.

    This is different from an “open” relationship. You want flings? Call it like it is….

  7. Lady Tarrant Says:

    I agree with Slartibartfast, Yatz, and James. It all comes down to integrity for me. I mean isn’t that integrity is all about; doing the right thing even if no one ever knows simply for the sake of adherence to one’s own ethical code.

  8. phatbootycutie Says:

    Honestly? There’s a little part of each and every person who wouldn’t having a tryst and NEVER have to be “caught”. I mean face it, it’s only natural to want something that’s forbidden. I’m gonna step out of the box with the other commentors on this subject and say that I, would do it (considering the whole NEVER being exposed thing), and I’d move right along.

    And I know it doesn’t make me a bad person, just an opportunist that would take advantage of a “pass go” card!

  9. Emi_ Says:

    No, I wouldn’t do it. It doesn’t seem right even if no one finds out, and the guilt would do me in too. That and for some reason the idea of being with anyone with my boyfriend physically repulses me. I don’t even like to think about it.

  10. Lady Tarrant Says:

    Alright, let’s assume that theoretically every person is tempted by the forbidden, and thus has a yearning for it. Such does imply that every person would actually act on it. Perhaps, that’s what fantasies are for–harmless indulgence.

  11. Johnny Says:

    Some of the people who voted “yes” would turn back at the precipice out of guilt, and a WHOLE LOT of the people who voted “no” would go for it if this situation were right in front of them.

  12. maria Says:

    I selected no, because me and my boyfriend have the best relationship ever! I know from the way he treats me that he would never cheat. when I talk about other girls and what he might do with them he says “nothing!” and then wrinkles up his nose. we talk about everything! that’s on our minds. we’re honest with one another and love each other dearly. H e is the world to me and he is always telling me things he likes about me. I would NEVER cheat on the one person that means so much to me, even if I did get away with it!! The guilt wouldn’t eat at me it’s just that if he’s being 100% with me (and I know he is) then why not be the same. That’s why so many relationships fail these days- honesty and communication are not valued well enough amongst couples. I’m happy to say that I have that special relationship with the two most important qualities. ( If it works for others who am I to judge?)

  13. Rei Says:

    Why would you cheat on someone who gives you love everyday, passionate sex, and trust?? I guess to those who said ‘yes’ is in a bad relationship, aren’t happy, or just plane bored and lazy about ending the relationship. Cheaters are weak, unhappy, lazy people.

  14. Jay Jay Says:

    I selected no. I just couldn’t do it. While I have little to no guilt about cheating WITH someone, I couldn’t cheat ON someone. Yes, I realize my Karma is fucked either way.

  15. J Says:

    It’s a question of ethics, not morality. You can substitute “steal” or “kill” for “cheat” i.e. -Would You Steal If You Could Get Away with It?‚ÄĚ
    How you answer defines you. If fear of retaliation or punishment is all that keeps you from doing wrong, then what kind of person are you really? Theists don’t get their morality from god, they get it from a fear of hell… and that’s just sad.
    I’m all for open marriage, if you can handle it, but cheating is just solipsism. Cheaters feel the only thing that matters is there own sense of entitlement – “I want what I want, the hell with everyone else.” Forget morality, go with ethics and you won’t go wrong (usually).

  16. nigel Says:

    i have done it and would do it again life is far to short for a single partner relationship

  17. Keith Says:

    Nothing in life is that simple. Time, circumstance, opportunity, time of the month, testosterone level, emotional level and sexual attractiveness stc all have a bearing on whether one would or would not indulge. Men are probably more likely to just because they are made that way. Talking about it in the cold light of day is a totally different ball game and one which is not necessarily going to elicit the correct answer.

    For those women who “know” what their partner is thinking all the time and what they would and would not do, I commend them for their loyalty but they will never know what is actually in someone else’s mind at any given time no matter how much they think they do.

  18. Slartibartfast Says:

    Nigel-

    You may be completely right. However, I would urge you be honest enough to inform your partners that they have should have no expectation of exclusivity. See, if everybody knows and agrees to what the rules of the game are then it’s not ‘cheating.’ I think “polyamory” is what the kids call it these days. If you explicitly or implicitly give your SO reason to expect monogamy from you and then go astrayin’, that’s best termed something else. “Narcissist cowardice” comes to mind, but there are probably other descriptors as well.

  19. james Says:

    Nigel.

    Life is too short to do things you do not really wan to do, so if you feel compelled by society to have a girlfriend when in reality you do not like commitments, then stop mallingering and be a man. Stop misleading women into believing you are a relationship kind of guy when you are not.

    It is ok to be noncommital, but it becomes a problem when you drag a woman with you into your world of falseness, false because you accept a commitment when you are not mentally able to perform.

    Keith.
    I am a man, young, full of testosterone, run, surf, box and practice Tae Kwen Do. I do not accept that explanation about testosterone being culprit for cheating. that is the excuse of the imbecile, the boorish and the mentally retarded.
    Again, if you are not ready for a relationship, then do not mislead a woman into believing you are ready. Men like you are cowards that feel they will not be able to have a woman by their side, so you take one woman as your GF and then cheat, misleading the first woman into believing you are a man to trust when you very well know you are not capable of being trusted, and then cheating to prove to yourself that you are a man.
    Insecurity, and that goes for both girls and guys that cheat, cowards and insecure inferior beings.

  20. AlanK Says:

    As described in the question, there are no lasting consequences at all: nobody knows, nobody feels, nobody cares. Two bodies pass in the night.

    This is not an affair: this is a nocturnal emission. As well feel guilt about a dream as about this. Even an interaction with a paid sex worker generates more emotion than this.

    What is described is a dream, having nothing to do with the sweaty reality of our lives. This not “cheating” any more than a brief fantasy about a pretty girl seen out of the corner of the eye is cheating. It is simply something that will never happen and–as long as we’re people and not sex machines–shouldn’t happen.

  21. LOLA Says:

    you cant get await with it the guilt is always there

  22. Rebecca Says:

    My fiance would have had to PISS me off massively and even then I wouldn’t. I’d just drop his sorry ass and date someone who would make him jealous in the public eye. I’d much rather make a man jealous and regret losing me than just cheat. If I somehow (virtually impossible as my fiance is the most all-around attractive man in my mind) met a man who was amazingly amazing while in a good spot with my fiance, I would probably be tempted but I wouldn’t do it even if I could get away with it as it’d make me feel rather filthy. Frankly, I wouldn’t want my fiance to do that to me so why would I do that to him?

  23. Lady Tarrant Says:

    “you cant get await with it the guilt is always there”

    It seems you’re forgetting that there are some who don’t feel guilt, just as some people can’t see the color red.

  24. Rei Says:

    How about this: The people who cheat can date other cheating, disgusting people. The people who do not cheat, and have morals, trust, and loyalty, can have the people with the same attributes.

    Do to others how you would like to be treated. So, if you want to ‘BE’ cheated on, you should go find filthy cheaters; won’t last long since both of you will cheat on each other, and you have a never ending cycle. Maybe you’ll actually get a conscience, or a heart, and have a mature, worthwhile relationship and never cheat again.

  25. Mari Says:

    Rei: I disagree with your statement:

    “Why would you cheat on someone who gives you love everyday, passionate sex, and trust?? I guess to those who said ‚Äėyes‚Äô is in a bad relationship, aren‚Äôt happy, or just plane bored and lazy about ending the relationship. Cheaters are weak, unhappy, lazy people.”

    I presume for most of those of us who clicked “yes” would do it because of the chance of never getting caught. Yes, I understand that the guilt would most likely get to most of us eventually – but you only live once.

    You’ve forgotten to mention in your post those who are in a controlled relationship and those who are in a black-mailed relationship and would do something to have a bit of control for themselves. If you want to go and tell them that they are “weak” and “lazy” – be my guest.

    I certainly wouldn’t.

  26. Kim Says:

    Imagine that a woman is in a long-term relationship, but as the time goes by, the satisfaction from sex is minimal, and not getting better. A woman will eventually have enough.

    I think that justifies a “trial” to find out whether the man is good her. So I would click “yes”.

  27. Rei Says:

    Mari, then those people in ‘controlled, or black-mailed relationships’ should get OUT of them! Duh!! Why lie and cheat? Just get out of the relationship, and save yourself, and others. Cheating just causes pain, for the cheater, and the one being cheated on. And the ‘you only live once’ BS, yeah, live a good life, not a lying cheating life, because you only live once, make it a good life!!

  28. bushra Says:

    ive done it before and i regret it so my answer is no

  29. Madamoiselle L Says:

    When My Man and I decided to become mongamous (about 4 or 5 years into our relationship) I made him a promise and he made me one. Only me for him, and only him for me. IMO, it’s the same as what marriage vows are supposed to say. We are married, now, but I think the conscious intention of MAKING A PROMISE to each other is stronger than a lot of people’s legal marriages, looking at the cheating rate and divorce rate in this country.

    Not that I haven’t been tempted, when that happens, I remove myself from the situation, and make sure I am not in that situation or around that person again. You may not be able to control WHO you are attracted to, BUT you CAN control the situation and what you do to make sure you remain true to your monogamous lover and relationship promises. I am sure My Man has had similar temptations.
    It’s just a part of being a sexual being. The temptation is normal, but the ability to say, “No, I love my lover too much to risk his love and our relationship for a fling.” that makes it work.

  30. jumanjie Says:

    hell yeah, if i could cheat on him i would. i love him wit all my heart, i want to be with him forever.. but i need some excitement. and thats not someting i get often. if i could i would cheat, fer suree.

  31. G Says:

    Would be and should be a dream come true for most people. We only live once and the actual act is exactly that; the act of a penis entering a hole (vagina) in order to receive pleasure. (brainscans reveal an orgasm is comparable to a shot of heroin!) It’s nothing more and nothing less. It astonishes me how ppl say they would feel guilty. I would feel guilty if I grew old and was dying and never fulfilled my life. Opportunities like the one mentioned above (no finding out, no std’s) would be a shame to let pass. Feeling guilty for not taking the chance is a better reason to feel guilty for. For males it’s even condoned as healthy and manly and obviously helps the self esteem. Perhaps women would feel guilty as they are biologically wired nesters and the feeling of being slutty would be an uncomfortable burden.

  32. G Says:

    Dear James,

    Some wouldn’t feel guilt but actually feel pride, and who are the guilty bunch to judge that this is wrong behaviour? ¬†Having a girlfriend and ‘cheating’ the way the above article mentions does in no way make the indulger an unfit person, a coward as you state or incapable of maintaining a loving relationship with a long term partner/wife/husband till death to him or her part. ¬†Instead the indulger is living the life he/she wants. ¬†Why is that wrong to you and who are you to judge what is right. An opinion is one thing that everyone is entitled to and if thats what yours is then it is respected. ¬†However, Having ones cake and eating it too IMO is smarter than sacrificing/regretting simply because a church or an opinion of your teacher has persuaded you.Cowards are those who don’t have the courage to do what they want in their short lives and go on to let guilt put set their barriers.
    As time goes by we become more liberal whether we like it or not. 100 years ago things were not as acceptable as they are today but we progress. Progress is the key word here. Some people catch up later than others but there will be progress and development. Kudos to those who teach their children how to think and  not what to think.

  33. Johnny Says:

    ^ I partially agree with you, G, but that’s because I usually don’t promise women monogamy, so I don’t think it’s cheating. Now that I have promised my lady monogamy, cheating would make me a liar. Sticking your dick in everyone you want is fun, sexy, and thrilling. But lying is not nice. Lying is where most guys go wrong. They promise they WON’T fool around, then they DO. THAT is spineless and cowardly. They don’t have the balls to risk losing a woman by admitting their polyamorous needs.

    Cheating IS cowardly. ADMITTING that you’re gonna be boning other women from time to time takes big balls. See the difference? Most people gamble on a “they’ll never find out” scenario. Some of us just live out in the open.


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