I went through 20 years with a philandering husband who would verbally and emotionally abuse me in front of the children. when my eldest completed her uni degree. She stepped in and told me to dump her dad.

She said many things that hurt all because I had thought my staying in the marriage would be better for the children, How wrong I was.

Both children were so happy with the divorce. They knew about his affairs from young even though I never mentioned it when they were around.

Today my girl refuses to speak to her dad, and my son calls him an asshole after he heard his father yelling at me in public.

We reap what we sow. Lust or lack of responsibility , who knows –

In our lords prayer we say ” lead us not into temptation”

Thanks for your kind words. I believe this issue is a matter of honesty and courage. Courage to do things the right way, courage to work things out, and courage when the time comes to accept things have no other solution but an amicable dissolution.
No amicable dissolution could take place if there is cheating involved, and the perpetrator is found in blatant connivance.
So the cheater is not only disrespecting his loved ones, he/she is paving the road for a divorse war and the man, if he is the cheater, is walking strait to the cleaners, in which case I do not blame the party turning on the cleaners switch .
We accepted and in the case of men, we got on our knees to promise the best of the world to that woman we chose. Women did same by accepting the offer, and the decision was made to live together and love each other.
If for some reason the situation stops working, and all avenues for repair have been exhausted, then it is time for an amicable dissolution, if it comes to that point.
Cheating, we already talked about it, that is the avenue for the coward to remain in posession of phisical belongings, while avoiding reality.

You are a funny person.

A guy with no morals wants to teach his kids openness.
A guy with no morals wants to teach others what true love and marriage life is all about.
A guy with no morals talks about disease and the dangers of it.

The lesson you are giving your daughters is to accept a cheater and abusive spouse, to be submissive and to be attracted to that kind of abusive man. You are distroying her life by imprinting in her mind the seeds of destruction. She will ne ver know, or it might take her years to learn why she is attracted to lying cheating men that are abusing and demeaning.
The lesson you are giving your sons is a lesson on how to cheat, how to be a lying womanizer, and how to disrespect a woman that you chose as wife.

Your explanation about cheating in order to keep a home together is as stupid as a thief’s explanation of his robberies with stories about poverty and living in a poor area of town.

All your bravado and your insults are nothing but the shield behind which a coward that is afraid of losing his phisical home, his confort, hides behind.

Like a thief, you operate under secrecy, and you are not man enough to face your wife, your children, and rreality, so you profess bravado, and cheat on your wife, contaminate the young minds of your children, and deny yourself of the opportunity to become a real man, by portraying yourself as the victim, the poor guy that is misunderstood by his wife, the guy that is subjected to “celibacy” ( as you erroneously use as terminology ), a victim of his wife’s lack of interest in sex.

That is not what you got married for Mr. Had that been the case, you should had warned your wife that upon a few years you would had or reserve the right to find sex outside the home.

When you laugh about the word Diseases, let me remind you that catching herpes on your side can easily spread to your entire family by use of bathroom towels, eating utensiles, etc.

In summary, you are the classical portrayal of a coward man, that boasts and conveys an image of manly man, a happy family, while in reality you are a sad individual, whom is subjecting his wife to humilliation, cajoling his friends and family into a false image of a happy family, disrespecting your children, and cowering behind ludicrous stories about european families that supposedly cheat by agreement, only to keep your false fazade in place.

What a coward, smells funky in here.
And like a real coward does, blames his wife for the situation, and while he indoctrinates and destroys the lives of his loved ones in the process ( he is to coward of a man to face reality ) he heralds a preposterous message about him being the home protector, the one that requires a medal for his great efforts into maintaining his home together.

Your kids would be better off w/o you, you are the worse thing that can happen to them.

Yes Mr macho man, I bet you could apply your theories of home maintenance with a role reversal. Why not allowing your wife to have men on the side? I bet your wife does not want any sex with you because you are in a slob of a state.
Perhaps your wife should start meeting with other men so she can see what she is missing out, and you should accept it, because, if your wife goes out with other men and has fun getting what she can not and will never find in you, she would be doing so “out of Love” as you say, just to keep the home together.

If you are so sure about your theories, you should allow your wife to go out and enjoy the company of other men. Or do you think that only men can cheat, is it that?

I wish people would stop “confusing” the two. A celibate person will NOT choose to have sex or partner. If they did, they would be ABSTINENT.

Personally – no matter what is going on in your life – sorry, but what you are showing your kids is not openness. You are showing them how one should treat their spouse – which to you, means lying. Teaching your children to be open isn’t done by deceit.

And finally – Not everyone in Europe has lovers, but those who do generally have spouses who are aware of what is going on. It is a different situation than someone LYING. If a wife asks where her husband is, she will be told the truth. Which I doubt is something you afford to your wife. You can’t really compare the two.

Bottom line: Orton, if you really believed most of the things you said up there, you wouldn’t be lying to your wife. Getting your sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere isn’t cruel if everyone is aware of what’s going on.

If you are a swan and mate for life and can suffer a period of celibacy spanning a decade or more fine you can win the lost youth monk award and while you are at it why not beat yourself senseless with birch switches.

Too many families are torn apart by sexual affairs. The world does not come to a crashing end because you have a lover.

James is so afraid of disease he must wrap himself in latex every time he leaves the house or jacks himself off.

It seems to me if you live your life in a black and white world you are missing a hell of a lot of interesting colors.

I am teaching my children to be open to life and willing to embrace it.

Good luck with your lives.