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Your Call: Can a Bad Boyfriend Make a Good Booty Call?

Tue, Aug 18, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo, Your Call

kiss_bwphoto by _StaR_DusT_

Dear Em & Lo,
I am in a situation where I can’t let go of my ex boyfriend. We dated for almost a year and in the beginning I felt loved, but as time went on he stopped calling. He wouldn’t answer my calls, didn’t reply to my texts — and that went on for 6 months. I broke up with him and then, three days later, went back to him. Currently I have a boyfriend and when things don’t go well in our relationship I always go to my ex for comfort. As much as I hate to admit it, I still love him and feel like he is the only person who gets me. So I thought maybe we could be friends with benefits, because he’s not a good boyfriend. What should I do?
–Pining


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8 Responses to “Your Call: Can a Bad Boyfriend Make a Good Booty Call?”

  1. figleaf Says:

    I think I always overinterpret specific words from short messages like this but I’d like a little clarification of what Pining means by “I still love him.”

    Because if it just mean “still attracted and fond of and mostly still just rocks my socks off” then, well, fine. If it means “heart still aching for, would rather have a lifetime relationships, but will take what I can get” then no, that’ really bending the idea of “booty call,” or even “FWB.” (To be an FWB, by the way, means you have to be actual *friends* too. Sounds like that’s not the case here.)

    figleaf

  2. SC Says:

    Everyone in this scenario needs to stop what they are doing and go buy a gross of condoms right NOW; Old BF, New BF and especially Pining. Someone is going to get pregnant and 20 years from now our kids are going to be reading the same questions. Someone is going to get an STD (if they haven;t already – where was Old BF when he wasn’t returning the calls from Pining? and does New BF know he’s partaking in a little bit of Old BF every time he gets together with Pining?).

    Pining, you have a New BF!

    Everyone – STOP (and think for just a few minutes about whether or not you have your shit together enough to be putting yourselves and future generations at risk for more of the same)!

  3. Dave W Says:

    Not answering your calls or texts for 6 months? Sounds like he’s just not that into you, and was too chicken to break up. The FWB thing probably works just fine for him, but I see heart pains down the road for you in this current situation.

  4. Sarah Says:

    You are about to enter a world of pain. Sincerely. FWB is really great when you don’t want more. Bootycall is great when you simply want the sex. But this sounds like you want the person more than anything.

  5. Rei Says:

    Did I read this right? A current boyfriend, and wants to have sex with her ex-boyfriend. Uh, cheating, great you stoooopid girl!!!

  6. TS Says:

    Unfortunately, it seems the best sex I’ve had has been with the WORST boyfriends. Men who weren’t even boyfriend material. Maybe it’s the passion of the forbidden fruit, that they’re unavailable. Men who are bad boyfriends are often a bit promiscuous, so they have lots of experience.

    But most importantly, it’s nice to have a booty call with someone you’re familiar with, who knows your body and who you don’t have to act like strangers after. Hmmm, maybe I should make some calls…

  7. kb Says:

    figleaf said it all. Don’t go for booty call or fwb if you want more. He probably won’t change his mind. that said, the reason some of my booty calls/fwbs aren’t boyfriends is because I know they’d make bad ones.

  8. LR Says:

    Honestly, I’m in the same situation. Except I was with him for over 7 and a half yrs. I left him because I was feeling neglected and other stupid crap. Now I want him back and he doesn’t want it. We live in two different cities now so its kind of hard to get him back. He got a taste of freedom I guess. We still talk and believe me he was the best sex I’ve ever had. I would want to have him as a fwb too but we both know I want more than that and since he doesn’t it will only cause me more pain. We would definately have sex if we lived in the same city even when we first broke up we traveled just to have sex. I wanted more he didn’t so that went to shit. So here I am wondering if he could still just be a fwb. I’m thinking its not a good idea. Right? Try telling my heart to get over him and my vagina to stop wanting his penis. So to Pining I think we need to find a better sex partner than our ex and then we’ll get over them.


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