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Dear Em & Lo: Why Do I Laugh Before I Orgasm?

Wed, Sep 30, 2009

Advice, Dear Em & Lo

woman_laughingphoto by ElektraCute

Dear Em & Lo,

I have this little problem that I have no idea what to do about. It seems that every time I get close to climaxing when having oral sex or fingering I can’t help but to laugh. Every time I feel like I am getting close I push away and start busting out laughing. I know it bothers my boyfriend and I don’t want him to think it’s something to do with him, because it’s not. It feels good, and I try to hold out as long as I can, but I can’t help but to laugh. I’d love to get some advice before I hurt my boyfriend’s feelings. Thank you!

– Funny Boner

Dear F.B.,

This sounds to us like a classic case of nervous laughter. You know, like when your teacher is reprimanding you for passing a note in class and suddenly you’re overcome with a case of the giggles. Or your dad is lecturing you on the importance of taking your curfew seriously in order to establish mutual trust, and you can’t help cracking up. In a tense situation, your body wants some kind of outlet, and sometimes it chooses a completely inappropriate one.

Sure, sex is a wonderful thing, but it can also be a tense, anxious time — even if you’re not necessarily aware of it. Could it be that you feel self-conscious when your boyfriend is paying such dedicated attention to you with his hands or mouth? Are you nervous about letting go and climaxing? Do you feel embarrassed that it’s all about you in that moment? Are you worried what you’ll sound or look like if and when you do climax? If any of this rings true, try sharing your feelings with your boyfriend. Perhaps if he understands where the laugher is coming from — i.e. that you’re not sniggering at his technique or his penis — he’ll be more understanding. Because stressing out about how your boyfriend feels about the laughter is only going to increase the tension level… making you even more likely to laugh. It may also help your boyfriend to know that this is a pretty common occurrence (seriously: just Google it).

There’s also the possibility that you’re laughing because you’re so sensitive down there — a simple case of the tickles — in which case you might want to ask your boyfriend to use a manmade lube: this can help you take more stimulation without getting numb or over-sensitive. If that doesn’t work, ask him to experiment with different forms of stimulation until you hit on something together that doesn’t make you squirm.

Finally, you might want to consider not stifling the giggles sometimes — after you’ve given your boyfriend a heads-up, of course. Some people cry when they climax, some people sneeze, and others laugh — orgasms are funny things that way, and sometimes they’re even funny-ha-ha things. If you’re one of those people whose climaxes are accompanied by laughter, then by trying to hold it in, you may be preventing your orgasm from happening. So let it flow!

Laughing with you, not at you,

Em & Lo

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5 Responses to “Dear Em & Lo: Why Do I Laugh Before I Orgasm?”

  1. Dave W Says:

    Your answer sounds just right. I had a girlfriend who, instead of laughing, would push me away when she got close to orgasm.

  2. Dana Says:

    I’d love to see TV and movies show a wider variety of orgasmic expression, beyond “Yes, yes, oh God, oh God,” etc. The laughing orgasm would be a good one.

    There was a B-grade movie some time back called “Two Moon Junction,” with Sherilyn Fenn and Richard Tyson, in which Fenn’s character had the most interesting “crying orgasm.” I had never seen or heard of anything like that before, and I was mesmerized by it. This was no award winning film, but it sure was fun to watch.

  3. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Aw, honey, there is NOTHING wrong with laughing during sex. My Man and I have learned, over the decades, not to take it TOO seriously. (I mean sometimes it’s serious, but it’s OK to be amused.) My guess would be the same as Em and Lo’s, that it’s either a build up of tension (which orgasm will take care of) or you may be ticklish. My bet is on the first.

    A few weeks ago, my Man fell off the bed. He was trying something….different, and he FELL OFF the bed onto my nightstand (knocking everything off, including the bottle of lube) and I just laid there for a minute thinking “WTF?” Then he started to laugh and before you know it, we couldn’t stop. I’d say one or both of us laugh at least once every 3 or 4 times. Last night, he couldn’t find the Sugar Sac (my GOD, it’s the only silky thing in HIS underwear drawer) and he was getting anxious, so I started to laugh and leaned over an bit his butt and we were both off with laughter. It was GOOD for us.

    Don’t worry about it, explain to your bf, and explain that’s how YOU, individually respond to orgasm. A lot of people push away, either during or before or after (it IS a very intense feeling, and sometimes it is SO intense we either want to wait for it, or aren’t realizing what we are doing.) If nothing else works, have him tie your hands, so you don’t push away once or twice, and maybe that will help.

    Laughter is good for us, no matter what is going on. (the only time it is NOT appropriate is when he takes off his pants for the first time, not classy, and kinda mean, really. I would advise not doing it at that juncture in time. ;) )

  4. Sebastian Says:

    I think laughing is a wonderful way to orgasm :-)
    Might just be hard to not start laughing along, so that sex would turn into a fit of laughter before she really can orgasm.

    I’d find it easier to deal with a girl who laughs during orgasm, than if she’d cry at least. Crying always would make me think that I did something wrong or that I hurt her..

    And sneezing… I honestly never heard of it, but I surely would be VERY surprised if that happened! But hey, everyone is special in his own way and should be loved for being like that :-)

  5. Angelica Says:

    Hey I do understand what you are saying. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 yrs. and I have never organism. When I get close I start to laugh and push him away. I still don’t think im organism while laughing. I have tried so many thing but cant get a handle on the laughing. My boyfriend thinks if he conflicts pain it will make me stop thinking about laughing and just organism. Is this true or should I just have him keep going when I laugh. We have talked about this over and over I still I don’t know. I have read and watch shows regarding this but still nothing.


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