Other peopleâ€™s dreams are never interestingâ€¦except when theyâ€™re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means (after the jump). This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I keep having extremely explicit dreams about cheating on my boyfriend! There are two kinds: #1) I meet a friend of a friend, a funny brown-haired band guy who’s shorter than me (he doesn’t actually exist in real life). He hits on me a lot, hugs me in the way my boyfriend does and I distinctly recall thinking that it’s nice because if my boyfriend breaks up with me this guy’ll date me. We hook up in a bathroom. I say, “I’ve never done this before,” and he says, “I have,” and I say, “I don’t mean sex, I mean cheating.” Then it goes into the raunchy part. #2) I and my real-life best friend’s boyfriend are fleeing a flood and he finds a dry room. The boyfriend says that since we’re going to die, we should have sex. And, well, yeah. Raunchy stuff.
The odd part is that I don’t climax in either of the dreams– it’s totally about his satisfaction. But I don’t seem to have a problem with that in either. I’m very in love with my boyfriend and I don’t want to cheat on him. I’m somewhat disturbed about what my subconscious has conjured up…?
Lauri: The first rule of thumb, when it comes to the cheating dream, is to ask yourself if there is a third wheel in your relationshipâ€¦ not necessarily another person, but rather a job, a project, an X Box, something that is taking time and attention away from the relationship.Â Since you are the culprit in the dream you just may be the one who is allowing work, family or some other focus to â€ścheatâ€ť you and your BF out of your time with each other. If thatâ€™s not the case then letâ€™s look at the other common bond in these dreams: your inability to â€ścomplete the transactionâ€ť so to speak.Â Is there any area of your life where you are not getting the release or satisfaction you need?
In the second dream you are running from a flood, which indicates something in your life is getting increasingly worse OR you are on the verge of being in over your head with responsibilities. Your best friendâ€™s boyfriend is in the dream for a reasonâ€¦ and letâ€™s hope itâ€™s not because you are secretly crushing on him!Â More likely, it is because there is something about him that you could really use in your own life right now.Â Is he laid back? Does he have a good sense of humor? Maybe heâ€™s selfish and you need to realize that you need to think of yourself instead of others all the time?Â Your dream is showing you that there is something about him that you need to bring into your own personality just as you brought him into your body in the dream.Â Â When you can pinpoint what that is, it will all make sense.
Oh, and a little adviceâ€¦ DONâ€™T tell your BFF or your BF about this dreamâ€¦ EVER!