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The 10 Worst TV Shows to Come On While You’re Having Sex

Fri, Sep 4, 2009

Pop Culture, TV

office_steve_carellphoto via NBC

In honor of the beginning of the fall TV season, we present our top picks for the most sexy-mood-destroying TV shows:

  1. Gossip Girl — Because who can possibly compete with fantasy, airbrushed sex like that? It’s enough to make your own sex life feel positively black and white.
  2. The Office — The butt-clenching stress that results from all the second-hand embarrassment makes for good comedy but bad sex. Especially if you’re knocking on the back door.
  3. Supernanny — We guess that this show could be classified as the best contraceptive device ever, but one episode might be enough to convince you that even a condom plus two back-up methods isn’t safe enough.
  4. The O’Reilly Factor — If we need to explain this one, you need more help than we can provide on this site.
  5. CSI (any of them) — Unless you’re a necrophiliac, this show really should not turn you on. Please tell us it doesn’t.
  6. The Family Guy — Because it would really suck to learn that your relationship fails the Stewie Test; i.e. is the sex more engrossing than a baby with a football-shaped head and a British accent who’s bent on world domination?
  7. Sunday Night Football and/or Dancing with the Stars and/or The Bachelor – The only thing worse than both of you wanting to watch TV instead of having sex? When one partner is really into the sex, and the other is watching TV over their shoulder…
  8. Madmen — This show makes us crave whiskey and cigarettes and equal pay for equal work, but we have yet to see an episode that has made us crave sex. Then again, we suppose some people might consider this show an excellent springboard for roleplaying.
  9. Lost — We can barely chew gum at the same time as trying to keep up with all the plot twists in this show — forget about having an orgasm!
  10. The View — Do you really want to risk any of these women accidentally becoming part of your fantasy life?
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6 Responses to “The 10 Worst TV Shows to Come On While You’re Having Sex”

  1. Elizabeth Says:

    I am fairly certain that there is no CSI: Special Victims Unit… It’s Law and Order: SVU.

    In other news… This is hilarious. I would like to add ‘any cartoon show you may have enjoyed as a child’… because nothing is creepier than being reminded of 10 year old innocent fun while having sex.

  2. RatherMoore Says:

    I will never get over having watched the South Park “queefing” episode with my boyfriend. Because now if I ever queef in bed we both can not stop laughing.

  3. Suzanne Hamilton Says:

    Of course you could always put a little bit of porn in the DVD drive and not take the risk of being put off. :)

  4. emandlo Says:

    Oops, thanks Elizabeth! It’s fixed now…

  5. Harriet Handley Says:

    This is well funny! I was reading something (don’t ask me what!) and this woman was talking about how she likes to watch Dr.Who to get off. That baffled me alot! Whats horny about Dr.Who?!
    And i completly agree with the Supernanny point. That would be enough for me to stop what im doing to put on 7 pairs of extra thick tights before even thinking about continuing!

  6. Madamoselle L Says:

    Cougar Town. (and I’m older that Courtney Cox.) UG. Don’t even think about this show…..EVER. Even when you are not having sex. AWFUL.


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