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Wise Guys: What Makes a Great BJ?

Tue, Sep 1, 2009

Advice, Wise Guys

blowpopsphoto by iandeth

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the difference between an average blowjob and an excellent blowjob?”

Straight Single Guy (Chris): I have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in my lifetime. Generally I say something to any talented giver, pointing out how noteworthy her skills are. One lovely woman asked me to explain why I thought it was so good. I thought about it for a minute and I think my answer to her is the same answer to this question:

  • Enthusiasm. You’ve got to enjoy what you do.
  • Vigor. You’ve got to do it like you want to finish the job.
  • Lubrication. You can’t be afraid of a little saliva.

Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-my-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, if you want to give a guy an excellent blowjob, get into it. There is nothing sexier for me than when the person blowing me is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so. I understand blowjobs are not everyone’s¬† cup of tea. So it’s time to play-act a little. Find out what your man likes and go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully you’ll get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo,¬† the cardinal rule of blowjobs is NO TEETH.

Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): No teeth, and a lot of practice. Problem is, women don’t know how it feels to have your dick sucked, and how it should or shouldn’t be done — and we guys aren’t about to tell them how.¬† We’re far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints.¬† We just lay back, relax, and hope it doesn’t grate too much.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here.



87 Responses to “Wise Guys: What Makes a Great BJ?”

  1. Jack Alan Says:

    Personally, I don’t think it’s fair to say, NO TEETH. I happen to love teeth, and I know for a fact that I’m not the only man who does. I’m not saying I like being used as a chew toy, but a little nibble or tooth scrape here and there is exhilarating. Especially when he makes eye contact with me. My golden rule: Every man is different and enjoys different things. It’s just a matter of figuring out what those things are. When you’re going down on him, use your senses. Listen. Does he moan louder when you do that thing with your tongue? Touch him. Put a hand on his chest or legs. Are his thighs and torso tightening when you hum? Look him in the eye. Does his head tilt back when your teeth gently scrape along his shaft? Mine does. His might too. I’ve noticed some guys are a little hesitant to admit that they like a little tooth action, because all they’ve ever heard since age 13 is how much of a bad thing it is. If he adamantly swears against it, then you have your answer. But if he’s open to it, it just might be his favorite thing. You’ll never know until you try and find out, and that’s the fun part. There’s nothing more unsatisfying than a “one size fits all” blowjob. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, its a partner with a “sex doll” mouth and a head like he’s bobbing for apples. Remember, variety IS the spice of life.

  2. Shasta Says:


    Why don’t you tell us readers what it feels like to have your dick sucked?

    Most of us want to be pleasers, but you’ve got to help us out a bit.

  3. K Says:

    Yes, I agree Shasta. Since we don’t know, TELL US!! We can’t learn if you won’t teach.

    Honestly I found this article to be a bit disappointing. I was expecting some juicy tips or sound advice, like “Make eye contact” or “Do this thing with your tongue where…” I know it’s all about personal preferences, but there have to be some things that are universal. And even if they aren’t universal, it’s nice to just have a guy’s perspective, even if it’s his individual tastes. Who knows, maybe one time this person did this one thing that was great, and we ladies just haven’t thought of it yet since no one will tell us what it feels like to get a blowjob.

    Do the men in our lives a favor, will ya???

    And I agree with Jack Alan about the teeth thing, one guy I dated really liked it (and he wasn’t just saying that).

  4. Leigh Says:

    I really hope some guys don’t mind a little bit of toothy exposure. My lips aren’t the biggest, and it’s been mentioned to me before that I’ve let the teeth slip by accident x_x Eek.

  5. james Says:

    My opinion, a great blow job is when a girl:

    1) Has deep throating skills. Long and deep strokes is all it takes.

    2) A very wet mouth. Women that have this ability to get their mouths wet , very wet while deep stroking .

    3) Uses mostly her mouth and tongue, as opposed to her hands.

  6. Johnson Says:

    Seems as if the ladies want truth. I am prepared to give it, but unfortantely very limited by experience.

    I have never experienced a BJ I like. Currently I decline all offers of a BJ.

    In my mind I can see no point in it if I am not going to be sucked (operative word) till my sperm is swallowed. (A woman sexologist actually used these words (similiar obviously) to me and I agree, I was asking about the technicalities of aids transfer with BJ’s. She said the the stomach acids take care of the necessary and chances are remote) My experience is that most woman are too queesy to swallow. Stopping before I ejaculate is like that email of loading the trolley full of nice things etc…and then not paying for it at the till. I am sure you all have received it.

    It seems as if I can’t get one where the teeth is in the way.

    Teeth means injury and I stay in South Africa. Wound could mean aids.

    Seems as if I am the only male who does not like them though so I must be doing something wrong in my mind.

  7. Johnson Says:

    Sorry : “teeth is not in the way”

  8. -R Says:

    I’m definitely a subscriber to the “no teeth” philosophy. Though a little contact doesn’t hurt, imagine it from the lady’s perspective – it must be very difficult to differentiate between a tickle and utter agony; best to play it safe.

    Can’t say eye-contact is particularly important to me, but I do like having my balls fondled while being sucked off. Of course the big question will always be whether to neck it down or not. Now, though I LIKE being swallowed, I have three conditions:
    1) It’s done voluntarily.
    2) It’s done without gagging, choking or fuss.
    3) She stops sucking the second I ejaculate – it’s bloody sensitive afterwards.

    Been with a couple of girls who’ve just asked me to wank straight in to their mouths – probably quickest and easiest solution for all concerned!

  9. John Says:

    I agree about the lubrication part. When a girl uses a lot of saliva I find it extra nice.
    Personally,I like it when a girl uses her hand a bit as well.
    I also enjoy it when it feels like she is really enjoying it too, nothing feels better when I look down and she is working it with a passion.
    Some girls also do it by sliding their lips along the penis. nice.
    Teeth – keep them out of the way!
    Don’t over do it by licking the head of my penis too much, it can hurt a bit.

  10. Bryon Says:

    For you ladies:

    What I consider to be an awesome BJ.

    First off the Rules apply:

    1) It had to be done voluntarily.
    2) You need to show signs that you like what your doing.
    3) Teeth are OK but do not bite
    4) Most important, if you plan on completing the job do not stop as soon as I ejaculate – some men orgasm during and after ejaculation. If you are not the type to swallow then use your hand.

    Additional Things that take it over the top.

    Make and OK symbol with your hand so that the thumb and first finger are wrapped around the shaft of the penis. As you take into your mouth keep the finger right under your lips squeezing with a semi-firm grip. Make sure you stop your fingers at the head of the penis so as not to make your partner shoot too quick.

    Swirl your tongue around the base of the head on the penis it is very sensitive there.

    Make eye contact and smile during the event, not saying stare at me just keep making eye contact.

    Play with the scrotum but be careful not to squeeze.

    Find a good rhythm that works for me, too slow it will never happen, too fast and I get friction burns.

    Reminder, do not stop as soon as I ejaculate.

  11. Jenna Says:

    Question for the guys, how do you feel about us getting you to the point of ejaculation and then getting on top of you? Is that acceptable, I like the feeling of “together” at the same time, my man has never complained of having it done that way, but I get so excited making him “happy” that I just want to finish by getting on top and giving him a ride. Any responses would be appreciated :)

  12. kevin Says:

    Hi Jenna, at first my ex-gf we do that without BJ, but after that it satisfies me more when she started to BJ me.

  13. rose Says:

    I DONT LIKE BJ..i never do it bcoz …

  14. Aubrey Says:

    I appreciate all the input guys on preferences when it comes to blowjobs. I know there are so many of us ladies that just adore it, and those that might need help. I get that some mwn are so grateful that they don’t want to discourage or interrupt.. but just like we may be afraid to question, don’t be afraid to point out something afterwards that would really drive you into the headboard. I knew that the moment I saw my guy’s eyes roll back that communication was a part of it. And to keep her from feeling like she didn’t please you at all (even if she struggled a bit) tell her what you did like and give her a few tips. “Differnt strokes” and all that. We learn by doing. Point of fact, we don’t have that nifty appendage you have spent so much time with, and could use your sexpert advice. Whether its teeth, or no teeth, ball handling, or no, keep sucking or stop immediately… there is so much for us to know about you.
    My point – eye contact is sexy, confidence, gusto, and overall appeal for giving the guy you are with the sensation of a lifetime is what we strive for everytime, but communication has to be in there somewhere… Or you might as well expecting the royal treatment from something as animated and knowledgable as a blow up doll. Which would you prefer? That should be the real question boys.

  15. james Says:


    That would feel great. I like to do a similar thing with my GF. I like to give her oral sex, I like eating her pussy, make her very wet and horny, and then I penetrate her.

    Then I like going down on her and driving her crazy, then again, penetration.

    Make sure you are moving on top before he comes. That would not be fun, to ejaculate in the air.

    Nothing is better than alternating penetration and oral sex.

  16. Arieda Says:

    I have been told that I am fantastic at giving head, and by more than one guy. I believe the expression, “A golf ball through a garden hose” was used once. My bf actually asks for them all the time. Problem is, I don’t care for giving them. I’m glad that my bf enjoys it and has fun but it bores me and isn’t a turn on. So how do I work with that? And the whole sucking the sperm thing; eew. I tried it many years ago and you know what? It was like trying to swallow peroxide (I had a mouth injury that required me to gargle peroxide if you’re wondering why I know the taste).

    Any advice for a woman who just can’t get into it?

  17. honey Says:

    I honestly enjoy giving my man a bj. Its really turns me on to see how he reacts to what I am doing. I love to try flavored oils and lubricants.

  18. Brian Says:

    First, I (and hopefully all men) love the feeling of a BJ and you (all spouses) know it, so don’t make me/us ask you for one or tell you I want one when we have sex. It needs be part of almost all love making sessions. Surprise me sometimes with a BJ: in the car, wake me up with one, I come home from work push me down on the bed like you mean it and give me one.

    Second, men a very “visual” when it comes to sex. So wild messed-up hair we can run our fingers through and gently grab, to great eye make-up like you are a sexual diva is great. A pushup bra to show a lot of cleavage when I look down at you verses no bra so I can see your breast and nipples bouncing. Blindfold me sometimes to take the “visual” away and maybe some light bondage by tying my hands to the bed frame so you can surprise me, leave me wondering what is coming next: enthusiasm then pause and watch me writhe, suck on an ice cube or drink hot tea first then take me into your mouth, etc.

    Third, what feels good? The head of the penis can be “very” sensitive (not good, not pleasurable), not very sensitive (does nothing for us), or somewhere in between (good), so “feel out” the situation and adjust as needed. About a 1/2″ past the head of the penis, on the underside is a very good spot. Slide your lips back and forth over that area. This will distract from a “very” sensitive head and the heat of your mouth feels great. About 1″ at the base of the shaft is the next good area, so slide as much as possible into your mouth to hit that spot with your lips. Now alternate a couple strokes between those two good areas. To make those areas more sensitive, gently grab the “skin” of the scrotum (not the testicles inside, that hurts sometimes!) and gently pull “down” or “back”, this will stretch the skin on the penis so it will not “move” up and down with your mouth, now your lips will generate more movement over the good areas. To give yourself a break, run the tip of your tongue over the skin where the scrotum meets the body, down one side, across the bottom near the anus, and up the other side. If you suck on the testicles do it gently (hard sucking pulls hard and hurts) or “roll” them around with your tongue.

    Fourth, the finish. I love to finish in your mouth. How good does it feels? Imagine you are receiving oral sex, you are in the groove, building up to the orgasm, getting near the edge, about to go over…and your partner stops licking your clit when you start coming and uses his fingers to finish you. Sort of “anti” climactic isn’t it. When I come, the head gets “very” sensitive, so try to keep your lips off of the head until you finally pull the penis out. When I come, I will be jerking my hips upward which will push my penis deep into your mouth, I may even grab the back of your head to help push my penis deep into your mouth, it’s part of the orgasm, we can’t help it. Also, because having the bottom 1″ of the shaft (along with the rest of my penis inside you) stimulated when we come…is great. If you can deep throat, it will be absolutely amazing. If you can not deep throat, place your hand around the base of the shaft at a point where you can fit as much as possible into your mouth as we “loose all control”! After I come, keep working your lips up and down the shaft for about 30 to 60 seconds, there are a lot of orgasmic after shocks you can work on. If you swallow, look us in the eyes and do it like you mean it, it will drive men wild (remember we are “visual”). If you can’t swallow, have a towel ready, dip your head and get rid of it.

    Men, please…have good hygiene! Be careful with the scissors and razor.

    Wow…now I have to get my wife ;)

  19. Neeva Says:

    What about 69? I like that a whole lot better than giving just a bj.
    And make sure your gagging reflex isn’t engaged. Jenna’s suggestion is great too, first oral to get horny, then penetration.

  20. Shay Says:

    Thanks guys for all the info…definitely helpful!

    I love giving bjs in the sense that it is so hot to watch my boyfriend loose control and get off! And I know he likes when I go all the way but I would rather start with a bj but finished by having sex since then I get something too. Sorry but having a guy cum in my mouth is not as hot as having my own orgasm!

    Please know that while many of us love doing it we can also get a little tired. You guys may not realize how exhausting this is (I’m not sure if going down on us is equivalent). But my mouth gets tired and that’s when I’m afraid I may accidentally use my teeth.

    Also my legs and back start to hurt from maintaining that sexy view either on my knees or straddling him. Is it okay to pause while I switch positions?

  21. Kid In The Front Row Says:

    I agree, it’s not fair to say no teeth. I always used to say no teeth, but found the only women I could find with no teeth were over 86 years old. This was not a problem in itself, but I had trouble maintaining long-term relationships with them as they kept dying.

  22. jamie Says:

    my ex man asked me 2 give a blow job ad at 1st i realy didnt want 2 but whn i saw how he reacted mmmmmmmm i would luv 2 try it again ovr and or no problem

  23. Johnny Says:

    1. Lots of spit
    2. Lots of sound (moaning & slurping)
    3. Steady rhythm
    4. If possible, depth of insertion

    That’s what makes a great BJ.

  24. crazydaizy Says:

    Guys… after you finish, do you like it when your partner keeps going? or does it start to hurt?

    Also, how long of a recharge period do you need after you finish? After a few minutes I already want to go down on my boyfriend again, but I don’t know he needs more time.

  25. Johhny Says:

    Hi Daizy,

    It doesn’t hurt right after, but it feels extremely weird. Like, very ticklish.

    A few minutes aught to do the trick.

    And kudos to you for being so fellatio-positive!

  26. Sam Says:

    When a woman/man puts so much enthusiam into giving you pleasure it should be returned. Your woman/man would really apricaite that.

  27. lydia Says:

    i really enjoy giving my boyfriend head. he loves it and i love giving him pleasure. when he cums it really doesnt taste that bad as he eats lots of fruit and stopped drinking coffee which dramatically inproves the taste. you just shouldnt think about it and just swallow it before it enters your mind. if your a beginner to giving head you should begin with tossing him off first until he almost climaxes then go down on him. that way you wont have to spend too long down there and you wont gag or get bored.

  28. Periphida Says:

    i recently had surgery on my jaw, and although it hasnt really displaced them i have the hardest time now not mauling him with my teeth! hes uncircumcised, and EXTREMELY sensitive. yes, i know about those creepy mouthguard things…but is there any way i could just change something im doing to reduce the risk of biting his member off? im pretty sure that would put a damper on our relationship, not to mention sex life.

  29. Madamoselle L Says:

    Knowing when to use variation,(tongue speed, flicking or swirling, and moderate or heavy pressure (men tend to NOT like light pressure much at all) when to move and when to suck, and when to take the whole thing down, it’s kind of like going underwater, hold your breathe on the way down, and exhale on the way out, knowing how to “open your throat” (like when you have to swallow a horse pill, like those huge while ones for UTIs) and work on desensitizing your gag reflex, it CAN be done, and it doesn’t have to hurt at all. Just take it one step at a time, at first.

    Also, knowing when to KEEP doing the same thing, at the same speed, and when NOT to use any variation at the time. His balls will start to pull up NEAR his body when he’s close to orgasm, so DON’T CHANGE what you are doing then, and keep doing it with the same force, friction and speed. (At least most men are like this, ASK him, if you need to know. Have him SHOW YOU with his hand the amount of force and pressure he likes. I guarantee, if you are new to this what he will like is STRONGER than you would think. And, don’t forget the boys. Men tend to like some sucking and pulling on their balls, most of them, anyway. In fact, some men find this so intense they may actually push you away, (it’s a reflex, he’s not being mean) just go back to his cock and you’ll both be fine.

    Once you get to know him (or maybe before that) using his prostate (from the OUTSIDE at first) is great. Push a few knuckles against his taint, right below his balls, you’ll find a small “third ball” what feels like the “root” of his penis, that may be his prostate, men who aren’t “afraid” you are going to go in the backdoor will really like this. Hell, go in the back door a little, if he likes that, too. (I’d ask first, some men are weird about that, or even scared, DON’T do that if he doesn’t like it, or is afraid, like anything else.)

    Don’t touch him the way YOU like to be touched, listen to his body and his voice to see how HE likes to be touched and mouthed.

    If you are in a monogamous relationship, after a while you’ll get to know what he likes, and if he isn’t inhibited, he SHOULD tell you what he likes, what is isn’t crazy about, what is or isn’t working at the moment (every BJ is different) and what he doesn’t like.

    I don’t have to tell you ladies to ENJOY it yourself. (My God, a lot of us more experienced ladies cum when we do it, it’s so much fun…..) Don’t loll around or lie on your bent elbow like you’re watching TV and lazily sucking a lollypop, unless it’s been a good 2 hour session and you have GOOD REASON to be tired. If YOU are into it, he will be, too. Some guys like eye contact, it’s too intense for others. If you keep looking up at him, and he closes his eyes, keep your eyes on your work, Girl!

    If he is really into it, he’s probably gonna ask you (or tell you) to swallow, which you may or may not want to do. A dirty little secret. If you really DON’T want to, or just can’t. If he doesn’t have a condom on (unless you are monogamous, he SHOULD) just hold the jizz in your mouth, wait until the endorphins kick in (about 2 or 3 seconds) and quietly grab a kleenex from the headboard, and discreetly deposit the…deposit into that. By that time, he’s exhausted and probably half asleep (unless you haven’t cum yet, and then he’d better get to work) and he really won’t care at that point WHAT you do with the stuff. You can quietly place it in the kleenex and go back for your well deserved cuddle. A good man won’t care at that point WHAT you do with the stuff.

    But, you have to enjoy it. It might be scary the first few times, don’t take more than you can handle if you are new to this. But, work up to speed and if you LIKE what you are doing (and after a very short time, you’ll associate it with your OWN Turned On Feelings and it will be as fun as getting some for yourself) he will enjoy it even more.

    Good Luck, ladies.

  30. Blowjob Says:

    I have been told my blowjobs are great. I don’t really get anything out of it, but I love that it makes my man feel good so I love doing it!

  31. Enrique Says:

    My wife doesn’t like to give BJs because she says she gets tired, but playboy radio pretty much summed it up. Men don’t need BJs to go on for 15 minutes, so the better you are at it, the faster we get off and it’s done. My problem is that I will hold back because it does feel awesome.
    As some one pointed out, find out what your guy likes.

  32. Anna Says:

    I dont like the taste of cum but my hubby loves it when I swallow. My trick, I put a piece of gum before the bj so the taste of the gum hides the taste of cum.
    Warning: Dont use any kind of minted gum, I’ve been told it burns.

  33. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Enrique said: “Men don‚Äôt need BJs to go on for 15 minutes, so the better you are at it, the faster we get off and it‚Äôs done.” That’s not really true. In a long term relationship, with an older man, when a man has some to drink, or when either you or he simply WANTS it to go on longer, a good blow job can, and often SHOULD last longer than 15 minutes.

    Maybe a guy who is really young, and doesn’t get it that often will cum very quickly, but older men often intentionally and unintentionally take their time. Also, in a lot of good sex, there is a lot of changing what you are doing, so the beginning giving him oral sex may segue into him going down on you, or your deciding to move to 69, or a different oral sex position, (Man on top is always my favorite) or intercourse, or all kinds of things.

    My man is experienced and often lasts a LOT longer than 15 minutes (thank God) no matter what we are doing. Experienced men know to hold out, and make sure “Ladies First” is the rule of the act, (and for those of us who have many more than one orgasm, 15 minutes of ANY type of sex, leaving out the super quickie is simply disappointing.) Every one is different, but 15 minute sex is an Uber Quickie for us.

    As for ladies who “get tired” the more you practice, the more stamina you will have. It’s FUN to draw it out, slow down or stop (just for a minute) right before he hits the “point of no return” and basically make the pleasure before the Blow Up last as long as possible.

    Unless you are in the balcony of the theatre, or in the park, or the kids are going be wake up any minute, some of us really try to make it last longer than a short 15 minutes.

    Your mileage may vary.

  34. Enrique Says:

    Madamoiselle L: I agree. I LOVE getting a nice long BJ, but you are painting a picture where a BJ and foreplay are mutually exclusive. I think your expectation may make some BJ givers who don’t have the stamina or taste for cum feel like underachievers for not being able to blow their guy for more than 15-minutes.

    Furthermore, it takes most guys longer to cum a second time “or second detontation.” I had this gf who would give me great oral and get me to cum first, which was shortly followed by marathon sex with her having multiple O’s. I am pretty sure it was all part of her plan.

    I think the next Em & Lo poll should be: Do you want a 15-minute awesome blow job, or 30-minutes of bad head.

    As for Lady’s First…Do you, women, want to cum first, or cum multiple times? The voice of maturity is to give more than you receive.

  35. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Enrique, I was simply stating my opinions and experiences, everybody is different. If people like 15 minutes or 5 minutes or 3 minutes, and they are both happy, that’s great.

    As for your question: “As for Lady‚Äôs First‚ĶDo you, women, want to cum first, or cum multiple times? The voice of maturity is to give more than you receive.”

    Well, usually both. (Like most men, mine tends to lose interest a little after he comes, not always, but often. Not that he wouldn’t try, but it’s better for both of us if I’ve already got my motor running for the majority of the love making.) Why would women need to choose? As I stated my Man is older (he’s 50) and it seems like we “start” with my first O. Things only get better for both of us after that. I get more into it and more turned on after the stress of getting to that first O is over. That’s the way my Man likes it most of the time, as well. (He’s one of those men who would rather go down on a woman than do anything else.) I don’t lose interest after one or two or even 10 Orgasms, so it goes on as long as he likes or we both like, so he usually gets MORE than he wants. LOL! 90 minutes to 2 hours is about our at least twice a week Marathon session, with at least 6 or 8 or sometimes more shorter Loves Sessions during the rest of the week.

    We didn’t plan it that way, it’s just how things have been working since we are closing in on the Home Stretch to the “Empty Nest” (OK it’ll be 7 to 8 years until the youngest is in college, but two are grown, and one is in High School, so we’re on our way.)

    We have found sex tends to get better and last longer as you get a little older, although my man has always like long love making, as have I (except when we had little babies….no time for 2 hour marathons with an infant who only sleeps 2 hours around.)

    I certainly didn’t mean to make anyone who doesn’t have the stamina for longer play feel bad. It’s about what works for YOU and your Lover and if 15 minutes is about what works, than keep up the good work. !!!!

    My point was that that wasn’t a “rule” for all men, especially men who are a little older only want a 15 min or less BJ. Or, women who don’t mind or even LOVE a long BJ.

    Like I always say, Your mileage may vary. And variation is most of the fun.

  36. Em & Lo Says:

    May we humbly suggest, when discussing matters of ejaculation, that we abandon “cum” in favor of “come” — it really just elevates the discussion, don’t you think? We would be forever grateful! And of course, let’s not forget “climax” and “orgasm” and even “ejaculate” — those are nice action verbs too.

  37. AlanK Says:

    Dear E&L–Were it not for the minor problems of one of you being married I would marry you both for the sheer common decency of that answer.

  38. johnny Says:

    Come is the verb. Cum is the noun.

  39. Madamoiselle L Says:

    I actually don’ think “cum” is a real word at all. The noun is “ejaculate” “semen” or the highly acclaimed and classy “spunk” “jizz” or it’s Middle English root “jism.”

  40. Slartibartfast Says:

    Thank you, Em and Lo, for bringing attention to something that’s always bothered me. ‘Cum’ has always struck me as innately cheesy and I resolutely refuse to use it. There are so many other options which are more imaginative or at least don’t creep me out.

  41. az,13 Says:

    What moves make you mene “ejaculate” fastes like is it the licking of the tip, how should I use lick the shaft, how do I move my tung, what do I do with my lips? ext.

  42. Enrique Says:

    Thank you for the enlightenment all, and I apologize to those that I may have offended. Slartibartfast, you’re right there are better words to use.

    P.S. I think the use of the word spunk is by far the creepiest.

  43. jerry Says:

    The are a lot of sharing from guys: how wfeel when we get head jobs.

    How about you ladies? What makes you feel good when your guy goes down on you? Please share with us what makes you feel good? What you would you like us to try?

  44. Slartibartfast Says:

    There’s definitely no reason to apologize on my account, at least. I don’t find the use of ‘cum’ to be offensive so much as low brow. It always puts me in mind of ‘Penthouse Forum’ letters, which have a high ‘ick’ factor in my book. I agree with you 100% on the ‘spunk’ issue, though. Em and Lo have the right of it, I think.

  45. Slartibartfast Says:

    For some unknown, inexplicable reason, I often use the term ‘arrive’ (or ‘arrival’) instead. I won’t swear that it’s better, but it does avoid the whole come/cum conundrum.

  46. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Hey, Slart, I use “get there” or “Get to my destination” also. Especially when talking to medical personnel. (Perimenopause, and I am about to (hopefully) start on some Testosterone to help with the “OMG it’s taking a long time….” issue.) I used to be hair trigger. It used to take no time at all, and I used to have to try to stall to make it happen later. (Back then, I usually only got one, so if it happened too soon, I’d get dry etc) I didn’t think the hot flashes and cold sweats of menopause were a big deal until the difficulty “arriving” started a few months ago. *Sigh*

    Hmm, a gentleman asked what WE want. When I speak for myself, I want a man to take his time, start out ALL over the place (not just genitalia and breasts) then go all over the place all over the entire Yoni region, use something (fingers, hands, a dil or vibrator) for some penetration, and keep GOING once I get there. A man who is totally INTO it is the best. My Man says it’s his favorite thing to do, so I believe him.

    And again IMO, it’s best to fuck RIGHT after to keep the streaming orgasm going. My Man is a little older (he’s 50) and we can’t always go right to intercourse anymore (he needs some additional stimulation, which I am only TOO happy to give him, and I usually get a few Os out of that myself, too, plus the look on his face is priceless,) which is OK, but I really like the full body feeling of a man ON me and IN me after the first few orgasms.

    That’s just me.

  47. BCofUIMHere Says:

    I am also one who loves giving blow jobs.

    Getting tired can be a problem; sometimes a guy is slow to ejaculate, for whatever reason, and holding your mouth open for long periods of time is tiring (or worse, cramping). Practice does help, but so does alternating sucking with licking or sucking with stroking.

    For those of us who don’t like the taste of ejaculate, eating plain peeled cucumber afterward takes the taste away (don’t season it or eat the skin, that can make the ejaculate stronger)

    Basically, for every obstacle there is a solution, so imho, there’s no reason not to make your man as happy as he can be.

    In answer to @jerry’s question, I love getting and giving (but not at the same time). I would want the guy I’m with to totally understand that fellare (where we get fellatio) literally means “to suck”, while cunnilingus literally means “to lick the vulva”. While licking the penis is totally acceptable, sucking the vulva is a big no-no, as is blowing air in my va-jay-jay.

    Personally, I like a guy to take his time and enjoy what he is doing – nothing is moodkill like having a partner who reacts like he’d rather eat a three-day dead rat. And a compliment or two never hurts. It doesn’t have to be flowery, “Baby, you taste so good” or even just “Mmmm” is as much poetry as “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

    So basically, my list is the same as the guys list: basic knowledge of how to treat the equipment, enthusiasm, enjoyment. Oh, yeah, and cuddle afterward (it’s a girl thing ;) .

  48. Madamoiselle L Says:

    BC you said: “While licking the penis is totally acceptable, sucking the vulva is a big no-no.” I agree that blowing air into the vagina is a BAD idea. You could get an air embolism (actually more commmon in pregnancy, but could happen any time, he’d think you were having an orgasm, and you’d be stroking out (meaning HAVING a stroke) not good. But, some nice, nasty sucks on the clit, or even the entire vulva can be heavenly at the right time……..*sigh*

    It depends what you like. Every person is different.

  49. BCofUIMHere Says:

    Very true Madameoiselle. For me, sucking on the clit will cause my eyes to cross in pain, but if there are girls who love it, go get seconds. In fact, you can have my portion as well. ;)

  50. jerry Says:

    thanks ladies for sharing
    how about timing?
    for how long you usually want your man to suck/lick you clit? what about interaptions? do you guys like when man switch between breast and clit, etc?

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