Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,“What’s up with men’s nipples? Should I play with them or ignore them?”
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): When it comes to nipple play and men, it’s very easy. Some love it, some hate it, and some will ask you, during said act, and in a flat monotone, if you are “trying to get milk to come out.” (Yes, that was a total mood killer.) It really depends on the guy. It will send some into the stratosphere and some racing for the front door. Like everything, you never know until you give it a test drive. And if your guy really hates it, let’s hope he has the wherewithal to just say “Skip the nip, please.”
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): In the film Meet the Parents, the great Robert De Niro casually asks Ben Stiller, “I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?” Funny as that may be, it makes male nipples seem a bit, well, out of place. While they don’t serve any biological function like their female counterpart, they do have a purpose. As a kid, the titty twister and the purple nurple were always fun. As an adult, when a lady moves her mouth from my lips to my nips it always sends a shiver of excitement down my spine. But too much nipple play can be a bit annoying and even painful for me. Some women like to bite ’em which, in my book, is not a good thing. So unless you know your guy’s into a little pleasure-pain, I’d say skip it. Here are a few nip tips for you ladies:
- Kiss em, lick em, but don’t bite!
- There are two, let’s not neglect one or the other.
- Don’t spend too much time with our nipples, it could get weird if we feel like you’re waiting for something to squirt out.
Straight Married Guy (Jim): I really can’t decide if I’d miss mine if I woke up without them. My wife says she loves them about as much as my big toe or my bellybutton, both of which I would definitely miss. If you don’t get any response from your guy the first time, they’re safe to ignore.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Jim from New York, our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter, and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett, owner of the LA PR firm Barnett Ellman. To ask the guys your own question, click here.