My Man nearly detests the phone! He has less than 10 people “In” his phone list. (Basically, me, our kids, his mom, my mom, my dad, and one of his buddies (the one who talks a lot.)

He has never used text in his life. Doesn’t know now, doesn’t know how to “receive” them, or read them, can’t use the buttons as letters, between not “getting it” and with his huge sausage fingers hitting the wrong keys, he gave up long ago.

He cannot receive his messages on his phone. Doesn’t remember his password, can’t find the “right” button, hangs up before the voice prompt him…..(“babe, what’s my password?” I have to keep a running tally of HIS and my passwords.) So, as he can’t bring his phone into work with him, he is missed a lot.

“Why does this thing keep beeping like that?” “Um, you have a voice message, sweetheart.” “Oh, crap.” Turns off phone. Problem solved.

Says the phone is for communication, “What time is dinner?” “When will you be there?” “Why aren’t you here yet?” “What time will you be here, already?” “What time are the funeral arrangements?” or “What hospital did you take him to?” “Is there going to be liquor served?” That’s about it.

figleaf

Boy do I love responses! It’s interesting how when I say that “Straight guys don’t seem to indulge in gossip…blah blah blah” that it there is an assumed, opposing meaning that woman necessarily do like to gossip and are “banal and impractical” as stated by Amanda. But of course, I didn’t say that at all. From my statement, someone could have also assumed that I was saying “Gay men are banal, impractical, etc. etc.” since no where did I mention the phone habits of women. But in fact, I didn’t say that either. My statement was an observation about straight male behavior in general. Period. Thinking otherwise, I’m afraid, results in feeling insulted by really one’s own doing.

It doesn’t matter what gender you are since some girls (including me) don’t sit on the phone gossiping away all day. And there are plenty of guys who love talking, with or without a phone.

I like Facebook chat for pointless conversations, personally. Easy to run in the background while you’re doing something else.

But I see my GF more than I see any other single person. Three or four days a week at least, sometimes more. The idea of just talking on the phone with her sucks because:

1. I see her often. She’s hardly a neglected GF. When I’m not in her company, I want my time to be just that – my time.

2. Unless something noteworthy happened since the last time we talked to each other, that conversation’s going to be booooooooorriiiiiiiiiiing. I don’t want to give a rundown of what my day’s been like, and I don’t want to listen to one either.

3. I’m not an entertainer! I don’t want to give my GF the impression that she can just call me when she’s bored, and have me be her instant source of amusement.

I think number 3 is the biggest one for a lot of guys. If you call someone up, the onus is on YOU to have a conversation topic. I find it annoying when a GF, or anyone, calls like, “hey, what’s up?” with nothing particular in mind.

Having just recently had to change my close-quarters relationship to a long-distance one (curse you college!), I don’t like talking on the phone as much as the free online alternative.

Not to sound like a commercial, but Gmail comes with a built-in video chat and audio chat, and the visual makes the distance seem much less, and the sexy moments so much better.