Comments on: Your Call: 38 and Want a Baby But He’s Not Ready

By: J

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:35:03 +0000

What is the reason why the guy has “so many financial issues and debt?” That would be a big concern for me regardless of the ticking biological clock. Is he financially irresponsible (or was there a good reason for the debt)? Is it possible for him to file bankruptcy so that the couple can start with a clean slate? If he’s financially irresponsible that is a major dealbreaker in my book.

By: Sharepro

Sharepro — Thu, 06 May 2010 07:47:39 +0000

oooh nice info!

By: kay

kay — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:20:08 +0000

Dear Lady in waiting,

I am in exactly the same position, same age also… by chance if you are still following up on the responses… what did you finally decide to do?
My partner suggested we have couple therapy. He already has 3 children prom previous marriages.
I agreed to this, but by the 3rd session got fed up with the whole scene… asking myself why am I here. I broke it off. we see each other sometimes.
2 months have passed and I miss our relationship terribly. I feel I made a hasty decision and perhaps should have continued the couples therapy a little while longer.
anyway just wondering what did you decide.

By: Lovereaction

Lovereaction — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:27:03 +0000

This is happening more often than I like to think of.

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:00:58 +0000

sasha, 75% of the women you know who have kids and husbands TRICKED the man into it?

That’s a horrible thing to do. I think I know about one women who did it.

Wow, if I were you I’d get myself some less manipulative friends……

By: Lovereaction

Lovereaction — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 12:13:04 +0000

I would have asked a man if he could be a sperm donor. I know many guys that have kids already would have said yes.

By: sasha

sasha — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 05:49:39 +0000

Do what all other women in this position due….tell him youre on the pill but just not take it……..or put holes in the condoms. Why not?! It’s how 75 percent of the women I know landed their kids and got the man to commit.

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 17:58:06 +0000

Rico, I have to be honest. That was the WORST suggestion I have ever seen.

Sex should NEVER, I mean NEVER be used as a weapon or a tool. It is the most manipulative a person can do, and I wouldnt’ trust a woman OR a man who uses sex for ANYTHING other than to please their partner.

Intentionally NOT using birth control is a recipe for disaster. This woman, should she be stupid enough to follow this advice (which I doubt she would) could easily end up pregnant and ALONE with a child to raise and a dead beat for the child’s absent father.

I have seen some BAD advice, but using sex, and the THREAT of an unwanted pregnancy as a TOOL is the worst. If you think a simple BLOW JOB is the secret to getting a man to marry and have children with you, you have a LOT to learn about relationships. Really, blow jobs are a dime a dozen. Any well seasoned, sexually active man, who doesn’t have any trouble getting tail will NOT be swayed by such HIGH SCHOOL antics. And I know SO many High School girls who became single mothers and ruined their lives by doing just such a manipulative action.

Sorry, but your info was the worst thing she could do.

The man DOES NOT want kids or a commitment. End the relationship and move on.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 03:27:31 +0000

I recently took back my ex and it only lasted for the same time that we were together the first time (3 months). This time, he said that he had changed, was different, had his priorities in order, was more mature, wanted commitment and was ready for marriage with me. He was 23 and I was 30. He said he wanted to marry me, have my children, live with me and be with me forever. He said a lot of things to me, making so many promises but never actually fulfilling them. It was more common than not for him to ‘say one thing’ and ‘do another’. When I finally pulled the pin on him, I also found out I was pregnant. I told him to pull his socks up re: his behaviour and attitude towards me. He was inconsiderate, selfish, childish, immature and irresponsible. I told him to either shape up or ship out. Sadly and unfortunately, it was an ‘ultimatum’ but I had no intention of making it one. It only came in light of the circumstances. He was full of b.s. and I fell pregnant at a time when I came to the realisation that things weren’t working out. When I told him of the pregnancy, he then gave me an ‘ultimatum’ – terminate the pregnancy before marriage OR ELSE!! He said he was ready for marriage, ready for anything but JUST NOT CHILDREN. It is unfortunate, that I found this out at the time I fell pregnant to him, but at least I found out sooner rather than later. What if I married him and found out later he wasn’t ready for children until 5 or 10 years later??? Of course our biological clocks are ticking and can stop at any moment. Can we really expect to put all our precious eggs in one basket?? Can we really be relying on ‘false hope’?? We can really trust a man who may not live up to his word?? Can we expect anything more from a man who wants us to put our plan/lives on hold for them?? How long should we wait for that right moment to arrive or slowly pass us by?? You need to be 100% honest with him as to what you expect from your relationship and what your head and heart desires. If your ideas and goals do not match with his right now, will they ever match in the future?? Perhaps, you are both on different pages of the book and you need to be with someone is on your page – commitment, marriage, children etc. Keep an open mind – you will find your Mr Right.

By: Gina

Gina — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 02:44:12 +0000

Unfortunately when a man says he is not ready for marriage/relationship/kids whatever, what he is actually saying is

I am not ready for marriage or a family with YOU!

Do yourself a favour and leave him.

So sorry