photo by Simply Schmoopie

Original horoscopes included in case you find our choices too obscure. Not everyone feels Shakespeare like we do.

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, / Than are dreamt up in your philosophy.” (I, v)
(All work and no play will lead to loneliness and dissatisfaction.)

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
“Get thee to a nunnery.” (III, i)
(Don’t get dragged into unsavory situations this week.)

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
“Give it an understanding, but no tongue.” (I, ii)
(Concentrate on making love, not talking about it.)

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
“Doubt thou the stars are fire; / Doubt that the sun doth move; / Doubt truth to be a liar; / But never doubt I love.” (II, ii)
(You’ll capture anyone you talk to this week.)

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
“All is not well; / I doubt some foul play.” (I, ii)
(You may think that you’ve captured the heart of that person you want to possess but it’s not likely.)

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
“Come, give us a taste of your quality.” (II, ii)
(You’re hot, you’re charming, you’re hard to resist. Get out and strut your stuff.)

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
“I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; / God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.” (III, i)
(Don’t be fooled by someone who has a way with words.)

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
“Season your admiration for a while.” (I, ii)
(You are likely to want someone who is already committed to another.)

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
“Assume a virtue if you have it not.” (III, iv)
(Be gentle in your approach to love or you may find yourself all alone.)

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
“Beware/ Of entrance to a quarrel, but, being in, / Bear ‘t that th’ opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; / Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement.” (I, iii)
(Sit back and avoid doing things that could lead to confrontations with your lover.)

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
“To the noble mind / Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.” (III, i)
(Your actions are in the right place but your motives may not be.)

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
“This is the very ecstasy of love.” (II, i)
(You’ll find yourself in seventh heaven this week. It’s time to fulfill your fantasies.)