Comments on: Who Gets to Keep the Ring After a Broken Engagement?

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 14:49:50 +0000

But, legally, Southern Belle the ring still belongs to him. Doesn’t matter WHAT holiday he used to give you the ring.

Judges hear “He’s a selfish asshole liar, so I should not have to….” Or “He’s a jerk, so I should get to….” every day in divorce court, it really doesn’t hold up.

Just going with the law. How long it took you to figure out the man and his offspring were unstable, nor the fact that he gave you the ring on whatever holiday doesn’t have any effect on the fact that an engagement ring is NOT a “gift” in the legal sense of the word.

By: Southernbell

Southernbell — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:05:32 +0000

He gave me the engagement ring as a birthday, Christmas present. He paid cash and registered the ring in my name. He told his adult children we were engaged then said he had no intention of marrying me. I’ve kept the ring and any other gifts he gave me. He’s a pathological liar and I’m glad I found out before I married him. His kids are wackoo too.

By: Madamoselle L

Madamoselle L — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:35:03 +0000

Legally, an engagement ring is NOT a “gift.” A gift is legally something given with NO expectation of reciprocation, and without any expectation of any action on the “giftee.”

An engagement ring, by that logic is NOT a “gift” but part of an oral contract. Meaning “this ring is yours if we get married.” In most places, if the wedding does not take place, no matter who calls it off, the ring goes back to him (unless she paid for it.)

Miss Manners and Emily Post agree. One doesn’t HAVE TO give back the wedding or shower presents (but really one SHOULD, unless one wants to be thought of as hopelessly selfish and then expects to receive NOTHING from relatives and friends when a real wedding does take place eventually) but the ring has to be returned.

In some places he actually has LEGAL rights to the ring, if he bought it, and the marriage is called off by either party.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:48:48 +0000

My uncles first wife kept (actually sold) my grandmother’s ring when they got divorced even though my grandmother would have -bought it back from her.- I think that was pretty spiteful. If the value of the ring is purely money and emotions to you than I say it’s between the two of you but it’s unfair to drag someone else’s heirlooms into your argument.

By: evaling

evaling — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 07:51:08 +0000

this is not about our opinions, this is a legal issue. Em & Lo are right. The ring is his until you marry. But if the ring was given (and the proposal done) at say, your birthday or Christmas, then you have a better case in claiming it as yours.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:44:50 +0000

so I have to agree with Evan.

but I also have to say that if they bought it for YOU, for the marraige then you should be able to keep it. I see it as a gift to symbolize his promise to marry you. If he bought an expensive promise ring (wouldn’t anyone actually do that?) then I think he has no right to ask for it back. Of course if you don’t want it, give it back. there’s not really much you can gain from it, except a reminder of a failed relationship, and who wants that? This guy doesn’t deserve it. Give it back, but make damn sure he knows it’s not because he’s asking for it. It’s because you don’t want it.
if it was me, I would give it back to his family. Not him. only because I tend to bond with the family, and I would want to give it back to THEM because THEY didn’t break up with you.

By: Evan

Evan — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:26:23 +0000

Also worth noting – if you keep his grandmother’s ring out of spite (and given that diamonds have surprisingly little resale value, and that presumably you don’t want it as a keepsake of your time together it’s hard to come up with another reason to) then you are, even without the ceremony, Señora Shitface. Give it back and sleep at night.