Comments on: The Virgin Diaries: All I Really Needed to Know I Learned from Porn

By: Wendell

Wendell — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:59:16 +0000

Thank you, Nika, for your comment–it’s very sensible in the face of a lot of absolutist anti-porn and pro-porn talk. It seems the camps on either extreme end are glossing over how complex porn can be–even how each person defines the word!

By: Enrico

Enrico — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 06:58:22 +0000

All you need to know about sex you can learn from common sense, hands-only masturbation, and a stigma-free environment. The problem with teaching about sex is secondary to the pandemic problems that everyone has with *learning* about sex. The first and most important step in achieving proper sexual health is simply being brought up in an environment with other sexually-healthy people. With most parents’ (those that are still together) having sex lives that range from secretive and embarrassed to bouts of loud, dispassionate brute-force fucking, no reasonably intelligent person should be surprised that sexual ignorance is not only an implicit problem, but is also more easily taken advantage of by pornography than any sexual education taking place outside the home. Hopefully this poster has actually taken away some useful knowledge from porn, along with her undoubtedly dysfunctional approach to sex – but as long as people start watching porn before knowing everything there is to know about the birds and the bees, healthy sexual relationships are going to remain less commonplace than honest politicians. Nobody should take porn seriously… ever – whether intentionally, or accidentally.

By: Brad's Angel

Brad's Angel — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:35:28 +0000

I have the priviledge of teaching sex ed to my sixth graders. However there are so many limitations to what I can tell my kids. It can be SO frustrating. I am deeply spiritual and a devout Christian but I have no intention of forcing my beliefs on my kids. I simply want them to know more than what the textbook includes like self-pleasure and how men’s needs differ from women’s needs. If I had had someone who was willing to be very open and frank about human sexuality when I was in junior high and high school, I don’t think I would have ended up pregnant as a teenager. After growing up with so many misconceptions about sex I am very thankful for having a man in my life that has helped me to be relaxed and open to some wonderful possibilities sexually. I remember getting so much misinformation about sex from friends, media, and my parents. I would gladly welcome the parents of my students to sit in on a discussion about the sexual side of being human with my students. They may have more questions than my students invariably do.

By: Nika DeVita

Nika DeVita — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:48:07 +0000

Well, I’ve DONE porn. I was active in the adult industry for many years.

As a woman, I can say it has been a wonderfully liberating experience! But, I’m also bi-sexual and an exhibitionist too. I didn’t have sex with strange men either. I was primarily just doing girl/girl stuff.

I had two rules when it came to the adult industry (this includes exotic dancing as well): 1) If I wouldn’t do it for free, I wouldn’t do it for money. 2) If I couldn’t do it completely sober, I wouldn’t do it. Period.

I always enjoyed what I did. So yes, women DO enjoy it too. I had another rule too, I never moaned without cause. It looked fake. And I knew it.

Porn is NOT a good thing for guys to learn from. And asking different girls can be misleading too. Every girl likes different things. So this is where real intimacy comes into play, and the difference between porn and “real” sex is revealed.

You have to get to know the person you are with. There is no way around it. You both have to explore, have a sense of humor regarding sex and being able to laugh at yourself and anything unexpected (outside of the “consequences”, you can’t take sex too seriously!), be open, and honest. And the hardest thing of all to be… you both need to allow vulnerability.

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:51:18 +0000

I have to say I like watching porn with my bf. It’s exciting knowing what turns him on. He lets me know and I can tell by how he watches what he likes. Then I can incorporate that into our play in the bedroom and boy! It really turns him on like crazy! While the men aren’t all that we would like in terms of satisfying women (please ladies — u know most of those women are completely faking it all the time!), the point is that the men who like to watch are so turned on that they would like to share it with us. It’s not all THAT bad if it brings you and your guy closer with more exciting fun. And it’s a good place to pick up a few pointers in terms of noises and dirty talk…

By: Major Tom

Major Tom — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:17:34 +0000

Different cultures treat sex and sexuality very differently. Here in North America we seem to be trapped inside a tiny box when it comes to sex. Missionary position and a few assorted other ideas and that’s it.

Asian culture is much more open about what we would term “kinky”. Tentacle porn, power fantasies, all sorts of things that White Anglo America thinks is “wrong”. I’ll bet you anything that if you poke around a little bit you’ll find lots of people, even people you know, who secretly (or openly) fantasize about, or practice, stuff like that. Most just won’t admit it.

Basically, we’re awfully repressed when it comes to sex (and porn!) in America. That’s been my experience, anyway.

By: Adriana

Adriana — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:19:33 +0000

Porn, as educational material, is definitely a double edged sword. Like Mr Manpower mentioned, you can take away a lot of negatives and false assumptions. Your assumptions were surprisingly positive but different people take things differently. I likely would have focused on the negatives porn is portraying (which is something I do too often). Of course, just because porn can be helpful and is enjoyable for all sorts of people and comes in a variety for just about everyone doesn’t mean it can’t also be sexist or misogynistic. Porn is quite the umbrella term and there are absolutely some works which do no one any good.

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:16:12 +0000

“Allison W. Says:
November 14th, 2009 at 11:18 pm

i find porn extremely disappointing; it’s scary to think that anyone gets off that kind of crazy, sexist crap.” END QUOTE

Boy, she told us, huh?

By: Allison W.

Allison W. — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:18:06 +0000

i find porn extremely disappointing; it’s scary to think that anyone gets off that kind of crazy, sexist crap.

By: Jay

Jay — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:47:21 +0000

there’s alot of truth to this article…porn isn’t just for men. and even tho u can say that asian porn is sexist, if u think of it as a set-up scenario…sure, it’s kinky, but it’s still consensual and completely mutual…

sex isn’t always pure, clean, or conventional…there are roles to play and porn realizes this truth…