Other peopleâ€™s dreams are never interestingâ€¦except when theyâ€™re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I had a dream that I was cheating on my boyfriend with a perfect stranger. At first, I didn’t want to. It was against my will, then I gave into it, and I actually did the deed. It was exhilarating but guilt-filled. This man in my dream is no one I know, I think he may even just be a random actor from a show but I don’t even know his name. I wasn’t even thinking about him or anyone recently. I am very attracted to my boyfriend and wouldn’t want to risk my relationship for someone else.
Lauri: You resist, become weak, you enjoy in partaking, and then have extreme guilt. To me, it sounds like you may have “cheated” on a diet and are having extreme guilt! But maybe it goes deeper than that. Actually, cheating dreams rarely point to a wandering heart or wandering nether regions. In fact, most cheating dreams are connected to something that seems like a third wheel in the relationship, such as a job that takes all your time, a project you are giving more attention to than your boyfriend, or perhaps hanging out with your friends more than he would like.
Since you are the culprit in the dream, you are likely the one that allowed this third wheel in. Anything, other than having a slice of Mississippi Mud Cake with extra fudge sauce, that you are feeling guilty about? Did you say or do something behind his back that you wish you hadnâ€™t? Did you wind up staying late at work when you promised youâ€™d come home early? Or are you spending too much time texting your BFFs while you are out to dinner with him?
It is also possible that the guy in your dream is standing in for your own inner male, the part of you that needs to “man up” and take care of business. Did you reluctantly take charge of a certain situation that made him feel like his man card was going to be revoked? Whatever the case, these dreams are not an indication of a hidden cheater waiting to break free, but more of an indication that you are either a glutton for self-punishment or you are indeed a caring girlfriend that is becoming more aware of your boyfriendâ€™s feelings.