Wise Guys: Do Men Check Out Other Penises?

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following:  Do guys check each other out in the locker room? Or what about at the urinal? Not necessarily in an attraction way, just in an “how do I measure up” kind of way?

Straight Married Guy (Fred): Nope. There’s an unspoken rule, at least among straight guys, that in the men’s room you look anywhere but at another man’s equipment. The straight male culture is so incredibly homophobic that the mere suggestion of potential homosexuality that comes from looking — even just for a split second, even accidentally — is what keeps straight guys eyes averted as if every penis were the Lost Arc. (I wonder what the protocol is for gay guys?) The only other John Thomases hetro men ever see is the elephant timber in porn, which doesn’t help at all, so if a guy just has to know how he measures in the real world up he’ll probably resort to asking a woman (and we all know how well that works).

Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Yes, guys check out other guys’ equipment — even if they are straight. This isn’t to say that straight guys actively and persistently look in order to compare one man’s anaconda to another man’s pretzel stick (though I am sure some do), but comparing is something that potentially happens on the sly and in one’s own head (a guy thinks to himself, “Well, he’s certainly bigger than me”).  It’s not unlike women checking out each other’s breasts, except where women feel comfortable commenting on the differences (“Oh, you have such nice boobs” or “Her breasts aren’t that big but they’re perky”), straight guys cannot comment on another man’s wang without being thought of as a homo. Gay guys obviously don’t have that problem, so they’re free to talk — but when they do, it’s waaaaaaaaaay more sexualized. Hahaha!

Straight Single Guy (Mark): Not to put too fine a point on it, but…no, sorry.  Nothing to do with attraction or even comparison — I guess it’s just an unspoken courtesy to give that modicum of privacy in an otherwise exposed situation.  At the urinal, there’s simply the invisible line below which thou shalt not gaze, and in the shower, it’s pretty much the same understanding.  So yeah, guys check each other out in the locker room probably about as often as girls actually have pillow fights in their underwear at slumber parties.  But seriously, I suppose girls are more stereotypically body conscious and comparing-prone, so I’d imagine they’d be the ones more likely to check out what’s doing with their cohorts in that environment and see how they, um, stack up.  But guys are utilitarian — we’re all business in the locker room.  We want to empty our bladders, or shower up and get dressed again, and get out of there to carry on with our busy days of manliness [cue Tim Allen “Home Improvement” sound effect].

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University; and our straight married guy is shy. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


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41 Comments on "Wise Guys: Do Men Check Out Other Penises?"


gws
13 days 9 hours ago

We do whether you are gay or straight every guy wants to know what his competition has. I know I do.

mark
1 year 10 months ago

It amazes me what people worry about. Seriously – have you any idea how much porn men watch? I can pretty much guarantee they watch penetrative sex whenever they get the chance. So just to get some perspective, does anyone think they’re masturbating whilst covering the part of the screen with the penis on it with their free hand? Men cum watching other men duck. Any man who is so scared of being judged that he can’t admit to ever seeing a penis, despite getting his kicks looking at one in a woman in private has no right calling himself a man. Get over yourself. All of nature is wonderful and worth a look. And its natural to do so. This isn’t about whether you look or not. You do. Its about whether you can admit it and be honest or not.

1 year 10 months ago

But of course I look, always look, think cute, I’m gay and I like bags. However I get embarrassed when they see that I’m looking. This is not giving up on anyone. I just like to look, and as it says here in Brazil: Looking unbootable piece.
Hugs from Brazil
Vinicius

Rick
1 year 11 months ago

As a gay man who most don’t expect to be gay, a funny thing often happens when newer straight male friends find out – they start asking questions, making confessions even, and asking if they’re normal. Maybe they just feel more comfortable that I’m not so different from them, but something spurs them to open up a bit.

It would be hard for me to count the number of straight male friends who have confessed to checking out other guys’ penises in person and especially online (anonymity and all). A surprising number even told me amusingly similar stories of having compared or measured with other guy friends when teenagers, even jerking off together. And no, none of those guys was gay or bi, and none ever tried to take that further with me even knowing I’m not the type to gossip.

I laugh at guys’ attitudes about “urinal etiquette” – I may not peek over much if at all.. but any guy I see freaking out over it, or getting hostile, loses my respect.

To the comment about it being lack of testosterone causing guys to be curious – bullshit sir. You can give a bunch of gay guys testosterone, do you know what would likely happen? They would get hairier… and hornier – for men. Hormone levels do not = sexual attraction, nor are straight men more “real men” than their gay counterparts.

Turning Point
2 years 3 months ago

Men want to act like it’s no big deal to have another man looking at their penis. “It’s just an appendage.” So how would you feel if there was a woman sitting in the locker room just getting a glance at the “appendages” as they strolled in and out of the shower. I mean, most women are mothers, have given birth to a male with an “appendage”. So with that notion, does it matter what sex is checking it our or do you only not care if it’s another male seeing what you’ve got?