Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!

Good Vibes Sex Toys

Buy on Amazon Kindle!

Christmas Story Lamp on Amazon


Confession: 7 Reasons Why I Hate Shower Sex

Wed, Dec 16, 2009

Confessions, Personal Post

shower_head_waterphoto by stevendepolo

A contributor friend of ours, who wished to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

I’m all for showering independently, quickly toweling off, and jumping back into bed for sex — that‚Äôs a good start to any morning. But if you want me to actually join you in the shower, you should know that I’ll be bringing my elbow and knee pads:

1. Under the unforgiving bathroom lights (bright! bright! bright!), it’s hard not to notice your partner’s bodily flaws (i.e. “Oh, you have more of a beer belly than I thought…”).

2. Which means, of course, that he’s probably noticing my flaws, too. I imagine him looking at me and thinking, “Wow, she does wear a push-up bra. Those don‚Äôt even look like the same boobs to me.” Not that he hasn’t seen them before, but sheets and dim lighting have their advantages.

3. It gets awfully slippery (and not in a good way). It just can’t be a good idea to lift up a leg and wrap it around your partner when there’s all that soap and shampoo hanging around. Throw in a horrible sense of balance and a hard tub floor and all I can picture is an embarrassing trip to the E.R.

4. With all that water running, the places you do want to stay slippery don’t.

5. It’s just too crowded. Most showers aren’t built for two, which results in awkward fumbling and the occasional minor concussion when you both bend over to pick up the soap at the same time.

6. How am I supposed to deep-condition my hair and wash my face if he’s hanging around afterwards? It’s even worse when he tries to shampoo my hair — come on, he’s supposed to be the boyfriend, not the stylist. And I really don’t want a guy to see me use my clay exfoliating mask.

7. My showers aren’t always lingering, self-indulgent affairs, of course — but when they’re not, it’s usually because I’m running late for work, which means I definitely don’t have time for shower sex.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

, ,

 

27 Responses to “Confession: 7 Reasons Why I Hate Shower Sex”

  1. Madamoiselle L Says:

    I agree. My Man and I take a bath together in morning or night at least 3 to 5 times a week, and he might get a BJ in the tub, but I DO NOT like to have either bathtub or shower intercourse. We have a 6 foot large Jacuzzi tub, so we both fit (he’s a big dude, so just barely) but I agree with all your other points. Also, I like to shave in the bath, and he says, “Ew, your little hairies are going to get all over me.” They don’t bother him any other time. ;)

    I’m all for some play in the tub and then adjourning to the bed for the duration.

  2. Laura Says:

    And let’s not forget, there isn’t an endless supply of hot water, at least not in my apartment! The deed may get done, but the hot water always runs out before you can actually finish showering!

  3. Amanda Says:

    Awesome I am not alone! My biggest thing – Not only is it crowded, but how may of us have shower heads that cast enough water for two people? One person is always not under the water & thus cold and dmap. Wtf? How is that sexy?

  4. Laura Says:

    Don’t forget the squelching sounds that ensue from the water when you’re actually doing the deed!

  5. Kelly Says:

    I have no problem showering with my man, but I don’t like shower sex. The angle is always awkward and water is NOT a good lubricant. I don’t mind a little foreplay in the shower before we head to the bed, though.

  6. Julie Says:

    Shower foreplay…i’m all for it. shower sex…eeehhh….I’ll pass. I had an apartment with two showerheads and that made life better. But once the foreplay is done, gotta go somewhere to finish and something is left sopping wet…like my bed.

  7. Chelsea B Says:

    I agree! I love showering with my boyfriend (when I am not in a hurry) but shower sex is not easy. And I get cold when I am not under the faucet, also uncomfortable. But the lights being unforgiving would only be a problem in a new relationship. When you are with someone you love and someone you really KNOW…being in the shower completely nude, soaking wet, with no clothes or make-up to hide behind, it really shows exactly HOW comfortable you are with your partner. I enjoy it

  8. Slartibartfast Says:

    I haven’t really had the opportunity to engage since circa September 16, 1995, so my memory might be a little hazy. That said, I recall being quite a fan of shower sex. It’s a great way to get clean and be dirty simultaneously. However, I have to agree with the general sentiment here that shower intercourse is one of those things that films better than it feels. Not to mention the enhanced risk factor (like enough people don’t slip and fall in bathtubs all by themselves).

  9. Slartibartfast Says:

    Oh yeah. Chelsea, you bring up a very good point about “the lights being unforgiving” in most bathrooms. It’s especially unhandy if one isn’t feeling particularly pretty. However, the ready availability of so many proven oscular irritants kind of evens things out in my (admittedly limited) experience. A properly directed handful of soap is every bit as effective as Vaseline on the lens. But easier to clean, natch.

  10. nick Says:

    good place for oral

  11. Spes Says:

    I used to love shower sex, mainly for the imagery, but once my husband broke my front tooth by denting the the shower wall with it, I shudder at the thought of shower sex, and so does he.
    I think showering together,though, when one isn’t in a hurry, is great for a relationship. It’s a very intimate time together and can add to the comfort level of the relationship. I always wash my husband’s hair and face, and that he prefers for me to do it makes me feel special. Although, I can agree with some of the comments above; there’s just not enough room in shower for two when someone is shaving–Period.

  12. Spes Says:

    Oh damn. Correction: “…there’s just not enough room in THE shower for two when…”

  13. Tee Says:

    Shower sex sounds awesome, but yes you’re right, there are major limitations, but really, some of the disadvantages seem like the person sounds too practical. I mean of course there’s not tons of space, but the average shower can accomodate two people hugging together or standing close together, this probably depends on how talk and big the two people are. Since I’m very petite, I don’t see such an issue with the shower, and the one currently installed has an overhead large head, and is about a 1m by 1m inside, too bad I have no hubby to shower sex with though…

  14. Leftos Says:

    We found the responses to this surprising because in a question posted on our site Leftos.com about where is your favorite place to have sex…many users responded with the shower being one of their favorites. Lakes and bathtubs were up there too.

    http://www.leftos.com/forum/view/268

  15. Elizabeth Says:

    I love showering with my man… (and I really love when he shampoos my hair… It just feels good. Scalp massages are like… my favorite). Anyways, I love showering with him, and sometimes even a little mess around in the shower time… But actually having intercourse in the shower is not even physically possible for us. See, I’m REALLY short and he’s rather tall… We half a 19 inch height difference. This doesn’t make a difference when we are horizontal, but it is kind of a problem standing up when we don’t have a stool or something. Also, we have the tiniest possible shower. It’s all of 16 square inches… So our shared showers are always rather um, intimate. But not necessarily sexy.

  16. jane Says:

    Shower sex can be tricky, I don’t prefer it. The water can make things a bit “too clean” and breathing with hot water streaming down your face kind of feels like drowning. But as Julie says, shower foreplay is a great way to start the evening or morning!

    I use a two-head showerhead which allows even for the both us to get clean in a small tub :) Invest!

  17. marzipan Says:

    and then there’s the good old, “i’m trying to go down on you but find myself drowning” problem. sputtering = not sexy. oh, and neither is having so much water in your face your contacts are dislodging.

  18. jen Says:

    I love shower sex. My x and I used to have it frequently.
    Yes you have to be more careful but I love it.
    It’s such a treat.

  19. Gracie Says:

    I must say that my boyfriend and I have sex in the shower at least once a week. For the last 6 months. Both of us still completely enjoy it. We have a towel rack inside the shower that I hold on to for balance & haven’t had any problem’s.

  20. Madamoiselle L Says:

    The Man and I were in the Jacuzzi tub the other morning and our youngest child knocked on the door. We BOTH answered “Don’t come in!!!!” at the same time, and she asked, “Are you guys both in the tub?” Later I explained, “Yes, we needed some Mommy and Daddy time, and it saves energy and saves the Planet.” She seemed to have no more questions.

    As for the “Unforgiving Lights” Y’all leave the lights on? Why? We never have them on, and the light over our tub burned our about a year ago, and the Man never replaced it. There are still lights over the mirror and one over the toilet, so, since I’m the only one who reads in the tub, the bulb was never replaced over the tub. The only problem is sometimes you miss and entire ROW when shaving. Oh, well. I’d rather take a bath in the dark.

  21. Johnny boy Says:

    I don’t know if anyone mentioned this but is it just me or is someone always freezing their butt off? It’s practically impossible to both be under the spout at once. Not to mention water in the mouth and eyes…shower sex is sexy but not practical or easily doable!

  22. Andre Says:

    You should check out our products at Http://sexintheshower.net we have created products to help you get a good safe position and even a showerhead to keep you both in the water.

    We have to agree with Leftos our research shows the same thing sex in the shower/tub is very popular according to our research.

    If it’s not obvious the above link although not pornographic, certainly is NSFW or at home if the kids are around.

  23. lauren Says:

    i love taking a shower with my man to girl, it is cold, and wet, but why all tha fuss?? just enjoy it!! have fun damn, lol
    you only live once..
    foreplay always a turn on to start it off with, make it fun and then run to tha bed. We all know wat we like so go for it!!

  24. alina Says:

    I have to completely disagree with the reasons up above.. I never shower without my husband and we have sex in there at least once a day.. I have two kids so I know all about the lights thing.. But like someone else mentioned that’s for people who are just beginning.. I have no problem being naked in front of him.. And yea we have alot to do in the shower sometimes.. Just hold all that off for a day you have time n let him get out first so you can do all ur shampooing, shaving n exfoliating after.. All alone.. Showers are cramped but two people holding eachother kissong don’t take up much room.. Wash eachothers bodies first so the bathroom gets warm from all the steam.. Have him hold up one of ur legs n go for it slowly.. Make sure the water is just hitting his back or ur legs unless you got lube.. So things won’t dry up. Even on the coldest winter days making love with my husband warms me up.. I’m 4’11″ n he’s 5’9″.. If we can manage others shouldn’t have a prob.. Standing doggy style is nice too.. Or if he’s a big strong soldier like mine n you weight 106 lbs. lol then let him pick you up.. But keep the water away from those areas you want moist. It’s wonderful.. Showering together is so intimate.. N It saves time.. We take turns shampooing n lathering up.. While he rinses the soap off him he also scubs my back n body.. N vice versa.. If I gotta shave he gets out when he’s done washing up or making love.. At first it was kinda akward but we got used to it in no time.. Now we only shower alone if the other isn’t home or we’re mad at eachother.. lol.. That’s when we know for sure it was a big fight..

  25. happywife Says:

    Very good Alina! My thoughts exactly!

  26. clover Says:

    I Love shower sex! It is quick and convenient, for those times when you just don’t have time for the bed……I don’t like sending my man off to work unsatisfied, and shower sex is perfect for morning. Start with a bj, go into doggie style, and then soap and rinse off when done.

  27. Robert Says:

    Its sex in the shower… If your really in there to clean yourself I gotta wonder about you lol… I can understand the water going cold but sometimes it will feel good, as for the not slippery where it needs to be water lubricants will be fine.


Leave a Reply