Comments on: Dear Em & Lo: Can I Give a Sex Toy as a Present?

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:04:20 +0000

Aaron, as a woman, I would never ever ever give my friends or sisters sex toys. This is NOT because I am not open about sex with them – because honestly, I am (with the exception of a VERY young sister… I don’t think it’s my place to introduce her to that). It’s because, for me at least, gifts tend to relate to who gave them to me… And I would really rather my friends and sisters not be thinking about me while masturbating.

The only way that would ever happen is like a novelty toy at a bachelorette party. But I’d probably just bake a penis shaped cake instead.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:37:52 +0000

What about a woman giving a friend or her stuffy sister a sex toy?

By: Erin

Erin — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:59:50 +0000

I think if you and your partner like toys then it’s a great idea. I mean whats better than the gift of pleasure? Certainly not a blender or a bad knitted sweater with a snowman on it.

By: Madamoiselle L

Madamoiselle L — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:21:29 +0000

Please, if you do, make sure your partner is emotionally ready for the toy, you have discussed it or something like it, and your partner is OK with it.

One year a while ago, my man “surprised” me with a phallic vibrator. I had never had one before, I was not as sex positive as I am now (I liked sex, just wasn’t as open) and he had ASKED if I wanted one, and I said no. We were in bed a few night before Christmas, I was stressed out (because we always have Christmas at our house) and he just put the thing in my hand. I freaked out, threw it at him, swore at him, and ran downstairs to cry. I felt terrible, in two ways because 1)I told him several times, I didn’t want one and 2) I KNEW I should open up more and be more positive and relaxed.

The damn thing sat in a drawer for a while, and finally one night I suggested we try it. I found out if was really fun, I found out we both really like toys, and we have since expanded our collection, with both of us buying the occasional toy, video etc. I recently bought a new toy which has him very intrigued and a little freaked out, but we haven’t used it yet.

My point is, PLEASE talk to your partner, if you have never used sex toys before. Some people need a more gentle introduction than others. And some people need to make the decision of WHEN to start to use that toy as they learn more about themselves and know they can trust you.