From the Nothing’s-Sacred Department: Shocker Gloves

shocker_glovesOn the one hand (heh, heh), these types of gloves could be seen as putting female sexual pleasure first (this move only works on women for obvious reasons) since men don’t really get any focused stimulation while delivering said move — it’s pretty anti-phallocentric, which is nice for a change. On the other hand, let’s come down to Earth: It’s a sexual gimmick attempted in order to gain bragging rights about what dudes can “get away with” in bed. It’s making sex a crude, immature joke (not that some of the best sex can’t be crude and/or immature). Who is the target market for these gloves besides 15-year-old skate rats and snowboarders who have very little knowledge or understanding of female pleasure? That can’t be a strong business model. Of course, suckers like us help promote them with posts like this. However, it would be our strong recommendation to avoid pursuing anything amorous or romantic with anyone caught wearing these. They might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says “I’ll subject you to dutch ovens when we’re in bed, too.”

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5 Comments on "From the Nothing’s-Sacred Department: Shocker Gloves"


Madamoiselle L
5 years 6 months ago

Oh, Slart, that’s gross! LOL! My Man is really a 12 yr old boy in a 50 year old body, but even he doesn’t do THAT!

As for the gloves, it would make a funny, immature wallpaper for one’s computer (for about 3 days) but I can’t imagine someone WEARING them? Can you imagine? Does the guy who wears these forget what to do?

Slartibartfast
5 years 6 months ago

Hey now! I’m a snowboarder and I’ve read a few books and seen a couple of films so I’m pretty certain I know about female pleasure. Of course, I haven’t seen 15 since the Reagan years, which could explain why the significance of these gloves is not immediately obvious to me. Oh wait. I get it. Classy. My dad and brother will love ’em!

Ma’amselle L, a ‘Dutch Oven’ is a festive maneuver in which one bedmate farts and then pulls the bedcovers over his/her partner’s head. It’s especially horrific after Grape-Nuts. Or so I’ve heard.

Jolly
5 years 6 months ago

I stopped short of clicking on the link to Amazon.com. My “recommendations” on their site are screwed up enough as it is!

Madamoiselle L
5 years 6 months ago

What? What the hell is a “Dutch Oven?”

5 years 6 months ago

The Purple Nurple is an acceptable sexual technique, right? Just asking.