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Sundance Film Festival’s Top 10 Lessons in Young Love

Wed, Dec 30, 2009

Movies, Pop Culture

Last week we covered¬†the best love lessons that people could learn from Sundance Festival movies. But kids are people, too — people with raging hormones and tendencies toward the melodramatic and a whole hell of a lot of ignorance thanks to abstinence-only education. So this week we’re looking at the best movies for romantic advice for the after-school-special set:

  1. Adventureland: Sex in a car is never as private as you think it is. Neither is sex with a married man.
  2. American Teen: When you’re in the cool clique in high school, life is¬†totally like a chick flick. Even when you’re not cool, life is still¬†sometimes like a chick flick. But in real life, the jock is always going¬†to dump the rebel punk filmmaker for the ditzy cheerleader. Bring on¬†college!
  3. Towelhead: The world would be a much better place if all pubescent girls¬†were given a vulva puppet to love and cherish, a box of tampons, and a¬†copy of Are We Having Fun Yet: The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Sex.
  4. An Education: A romantic weekend in Paris is much better with a peer who owns a bicycle than with a mentor who drives a cool, fast car.
  5. Saved! In the entire history of human beings, no gay man has ever been¬†”turned straight” by being seduced by a woman (even when that woman has¬†Jesus on her side). And remember, even though you’re gay, you can still¬†get her pregnant. Oh, and if you don’t want your mom to find your stash of¬†gay porn, then find a better hiding place than under your bed. Jeez.

Read the rest of this list on SUNfiltered

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2 Responses to “Sundance Film Festival’s Top 10 Lessons in Young Love”

  1. Isis Uptown Says:

    I keep trying to read the rest of the list; the link doesn’t work.

  2. emandlo Says:

    Oops, sorry about that, it’s fixed now!


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