Comments on: Wise Guys: He Looks at Other Women But Gets Jealous If I Ogle Men

By: Lisa

Lisa — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:20:45 +0000

I had, had the same problem with my ex. We went to the zoo and some woman was jogging and in mid sentence I was intereupted by “oh a woman with bouncing boobs”. I said what? after I had seen this woman coming closer to us. I had stopped the woman and asked if she cared that my fiance was checking her t*ts out while bouncing and asked her if she wouldn’t mind lifting her shirt so he could have a picture of what intriged him so much that my talking to him about our wedding plans took second place. She right there slapped him across the face and asked “why disrespect the woman you are going to marry”.I corrected her at this point and said was going to marry. Funny thing is she asked me if I wanted a ride home and I accepted and left him at the zoo without keys to his car or house. I had them for a few minutes untill we got on the highway and tossed them with my 2000.00 engagment ring. So men by all means look while your woman is standing there but don’t be supprised at what happens. There is no reason for that sort of behavior. Yes I know they say looking is natural….Fantasies are suppose to be natural bs. People do this sort of stuff because the one they are with isn’t doing it for them. What is between my legs is mine, how dare any male put another face on me while he is lets say in me. NOWAY

By: Cinster

Cinster — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:17:03 +0000

Ok…all this being said…I get it. I know men look. Women feel threatened by the possibility that their partners will throw them out in favour of the piece of pie that just walked by. Women look…some men don’t care, some get jealous and feel threatened for the same reason. What fans the flame of jealousy is the unknown…if that’ what I’m understanding…we get jealous because we also get afraid…because we don’t know what’s going on inside the other’s mind. So our mind messes with us – whether we are men or women….but my problem isn’t that he looks…it’s in the way it has happened. I felt hurt…I was trying to talk to him about something very important to me when all of a sudden he “shushed” me…only to tell me he had to shush me because 2 hot 20 year olds with nice t*ts were jogging by and he wanted to see them b*uncing…and he would not have listened or paid attention to what I said. I think what choked me the most was that last part “would not have listened or paid attention to what I said”…when we were in the middle of an important conversation. So do I have a right to be jealous or am I being stupid as some people seem to think? I felt disrespected…and I’d like both men and women’s feedback. Men – do you treat your women this way? Women – is this just a guy thing your men do to you?

By: Spes

Spes — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:22:35 +0000

I agree with Julie. Oggling in public or around a partner who wouldn’t be comfortable with it is quite disrespectful, even though it can be quite harmless.

Also fantasizing and checking someone out are two very different things. One may admire the features or sexual air of another without necessarily including that person in their fantasies.

Lastly: Damn, reading this post makes me feel like I’m totally weird. Not everyone fantasize about people other than their significant other. I don’t. I’ve even tried to, and found that I can get as far as a kiss before I find myself feeling slightly nauseated and I start losing my focus. Even fantasizing about my husband can be difficult, and I’m usually fairly unsuccessful except once every few months. And yet, just soft sex scenes in regular movies are a huge turn on as well as reading of such, so it’s not like I can’t appreciate sexual imagery. Bottom line, I suppose, is this: we’re all different and we need to be wary of over- generalizations, especially concerning people’s sexual natures.

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 08:45:22 +0000

Of course fantasizing is something we all do. I do think it is disrespectful though to ogle at anyone when in public and in the presence of your significant other. I don’t think thats too much to ask from either men or women.

By: narutod2nd

narutod2nd — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:53:28 +0000

What you see is what you get? Isn’t it right, men get jealous if you gals start to stare at other guys. Am i right or wrong? But, when we guys start to stare at other girls. You, ladies want to tear our heads off. Agree…

By: Metoo

Metoo — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 06:11:06 +0000

To figleaf: Yep, that first paragraph was right on the money!

By: johnny

johnny — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 13:45:10 +0000

Men sexually fantasize about the women they ogle. Women sexually fantasize about the men they ogle.

Everybody does it, and it’s normal. You’re allowed to fantasize. As for whether it means that your ogling partner would actually cheat on you, I think you have to consider them innocent until proven guilty, given the fact that YOU DO IT TOO.

By: Doug

Doug — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 13:21:10 +0000

The guys hit on it a little bit, and it all boils down to insecurity. I feel the same way about the guys that hold this double standard as the girls who read romance novels and watch chick flick marathons and freak out when their guy uses porn to masturbate. The problem here isn’t with the girl who looks, it’s the guy who can’t handle her looking, just like the aforementioned problem isn’t the guy who uses porn, it’s the girl who can’t handle the guy looking.

Everybody has fantasies; some people just try to make themselves feel better by pretending their partners don’t. From a rational standpoint, the idea that you can fantasize about someone else but your partner can only fantasize about you is patently ridiculous, but so many people, men and women, adhere to this kind of faulty double-standard. And they only do it because they can’t handle knowing that they personally are not the be-all end-all of their partner’s existence. It’s selfish, childish and extremely insecure; guilting your partner into not looking only makes them less likely to share themselves with you, it drives a wedge of delusion between yourself and your partner. That’s the kind of wedge that grows with time, and I would bet has ended many promising relationships. All because one person couldn’t recognize that the other one was human too.

I wish people didn’t just assume that thought, that everybody is human, was common sense. Although, perhaps I just wish this common sense were a little more common.