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What’s the Female Equivalent of Blue Balls Called?

Thu, Jan 7, 2010

Confessions, Poll

Since “blue balls exist” was one of the top 10 universal truths we learned from our commenters in 2009, our contributor and regular commenter figleaf suggested that we poll everyone to come up with a term for the female equivalent of that achy-aroused condition. Please put your suggestions in the comments below and in a few weeks we’ll have you vote on the best. Here are some to get you going: “Vexatious vulva.” Eh — the alliteration is pretty good, but it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Urban Dictionary lists “blue bean,” which sounds really quite good, but may not accurately describe the all-over genital ache.


35 Responses to “What’s the Female Equivalent of Blue Balls Called?”

  1. Fred Says:

    Blue cooch.

  2. Kelly Says:

    Blue Box
    Sore Slit

  3. Shewolf68 Says:

    Button throb…Knub burn…vexed vag…that is all, for now.

  4. Rei Says:

    Clitter Twitter

  5. Lois Says:

    Urban dictionary recently offered the term “immaculate congestion” for definition. I immediately thought of the vulvar and clitoral discomfort that occurs with cybersex, phone sex, or sexting without masturbatory release. That may last for hours if you don’t do anything about it

  6. Kelly Says:

    the angry ache

  7. Dave W Says:

    scarlet labes
    balloon poon

  8. Spes Says:

    purple lips

  9. Sue Says:

    blue walls

  10. Jacquie Says:


  11. Sarah Says:

    Twisted clit

    …don’t get your clit in a twist!

  12. Danielle Says:

    Blue Box Blues, Achey Breaky blue. The blue Bs

  13. Ms. S Says:

    Well my girlfriends and I have always referred to it as the The V.A.; the vaginal ache, because it is just more of a deep ache than an actual pain. Not particularly funny or witty, but elegant,simple and descriptively accurate.

  14. Rae Says:

    I have always referred to it as blue bird!

  15. eric Says:

    snatch attack,kitty ache,cunt throb…lol

  16. Lucy Says:

    Twisted Twat

  17. Cheech Says:


  18. missy Says:

    the blue kitty

  19. J K KOOL Says:

    Well I love Sushi so it has to be:
    The Blue Tuna – I love it pink!

    (Blue Fin Tuna)

  20. Fanzi Says:

    what more accurately describes it than “Purple Puss” or “Purple Pussy” whichever you’d prefer. Some of the comments are good though, or at least humorous.

  21. Boogieman Says:

    Flustered furburger

  22. infraredhead Says:

    aqua vulva!

  23. Johann Gutenberg Says:

    I have to second Blue Box – great work Kelly

  24. James Says:

    The great blue hatchet wound? Or just shorten it Hatch Snatch. ? No? How about “My achy braky poon? I don’t quite feel you understand .Cuz if you tell my poon my achy beaky poon ….. Come on ppl you know the words! ====

  25. rawr Says:

    The Blue Slots.

  26. Babygirl Says:

    Blue lips might work

  27. SOPHIA Says:

    The Clit Blues.

  28. Jean Says:

    Aqua Vulva

  29. Ricco Says:

    Blue Cooch takes the cake (or preferably the sausage). But then again I am prejudiced being a horticulturist.

  30. Coral Cox Says:

    Wasted Wetness.

  31. Stacy Says:

    Blue box is the best i’ve seen so far i think im using that term from now on

  32. Jeri Says:

    Bummed beaver, not enough dam wood!

  33. emandlo Says:


  34. Christine Says:

    I call it Purple Pussy Syndrome or PPS for short.

  35. Crystalnebula Says:

    I’m going with purple pussy!

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