Advice from three of our guy friends on the day we’re declaring “Spank Tuesday” (tune in later this afternoon for more spanking-good-time posts). This week they answer the following: “Why do guys like to spank their partners in bed?“
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): I really took one for the team here. In the interest of sexual science and sound advice, I carried out some field research with the missus. My findings: I can’t write left-handed; a back makes a good clipboard-rest; and spanking… is…… awesome! No doubt it’s wrong on some level, linked to man’s sublimated urge to dominate women — to punish them, to control them, to baby them (with all the creepiness that insinuates). But hey, it’s fun, it’s harmless (at least when you have my upper body strength), and it works both ways. Any guy that won’t let you spank them — they’re the ones you have to watch out for.
Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): While I’ve certainly engaged in the act a few times, performing as both the spanker and the spankee, I can’t really say that spanking really gets me going. However, I am a man and have a few theories about why some like it. It’s pretty simple: power. Without getting too psychoanalytical here, spanking puts the power in our hands, literally. And while most men wouldn’t dream of harming a woman, spanking lets us get out some of that bottled up aggression in a safe, hopefully sexy way! So ladies, if you like it, let ‘er rip! We all you know you hold all the power in the relationship anyway.
Straight Single Guy (Chris): I’m not sure guys love spanking their partners. Sure, we love spanking if you love spanking, and most guys will do whatever it takes to feel powerful, confident, and manly in bed. Spanking is an easy way to do that. But really, I think spanking is a gateway behavior — an icebreaker to other more adventurous things. It seems to me that spanking, or more accurately, establishing spanking as ok, during sex is one of the best ways to add other fun boundary-pushing “enhancements,”like new positions, dirty talk, facials, photography, etc. I would argue that girls are far dirtier than boys, but far more sensitive to feeling slutty. The fear of being a slut is a barrier to more erotic sex. So you’ve got to ease into things. Spanking is safe but dirty, slightly slutty but cute. I would recommend to any guy looking to add to their sex life to start by spanking and then use that adventurous mood to introduce some other things, whatever unusual thing you are into.
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross of Boerum Hill Blog. To ask the guys your own question, click here.