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The Worst Rom Coms Ever

Thu, Feb 11, 2010

Movies, Pop Culture

forgettingsarahmarshallphoto by Annie Mole

*besides those flicks by the worst rom-com actors ever

In honor of Valentine‚Äôs Day, we‚Äôre rerunning a series of lists dedicated to the film-genre equivalent of those little heart candies: the romantic comedy. We’ve covered classic rom coms, alternative love stories, the best overlooked ones, romantic comedies from the olden days, the most overrated ones, and¬†actors who should never be allowed to make another romantic comedy again.¬†And now, we close out the series with the 25 remaining worst rom coms ever made. We saved them for last since you wouldn’t have time to Netflix these for Valentine’s Day anyway. (Remember, if you don’t see your all-time most-hated rom com below, it’s probably here.)

  1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall – How this predictable and unfunny movie got any favorable reviews is beyond us. (Okay, it’s beyond Lo — Em actually found it kind of funny, but as we’ve stated before, she has a very high tolerance for cheese.) Lo thinks people have just gone Apatow crazy. Usually any movie that has full frontal male nudity automatically gets a thumbs up from the two of us, but even that can’t make Lo care about this snoozer.
  2. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason – When you start off so high, you have so much further to fall. Even Em couldn’t get through this one.
  3. Xanadu – This almost made our top ten list of classic rom coms. But despite the fondness we have in our hearts for this movie from when we were kids, even we can’t delude ourselves into believing this is even remotely watchable for grownups. However, we stand by the assertion that Xanadu has one of the best movie soundtracks of all time. ELO + Olivia Newton John = magic.
  4. Good Luck Chuck – Dane Cook, you were so funny on your first Comedy Central special. Even your follow-up stadium shows rocked. And Dan in Real Life made one of our favorite rom coms lists. So why, why, for the love of all that’s holy, did you agree to make this piece of cinematic doodie? It only got a 3 on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s worse than Gigli!
  5. Elizabethtown – When stuck on a plane, the bar for what’s passable entertainment is automatically lowered because you’re just so grateful for anything that makes the time go by faster. This made our flight actually feel longer. And we did the in-flight equivalent of walking out of the theater: we took our headphones off.
  6. Made of Honor – McDreamy? More like McSteamy, so named for the steaming pile of poo that is this movie.
  7. Someone Like You – All one has to do is look at Ashley Judd’s hairdo to get a good idea of how bad this movie’s going to be.
  8. The Mexican – Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts, two mega stars at the height of their careers — how could this not be cinematic Cuervo Gold? But it’s like the cheapest tequila you can find on the bottom shelf of the liquor store, the kind that gives you a hangover that makes you wish you were dead.
  9. Must Love Dogs – Must Hate Dumb Movies.
  10. Addicted to Love – Black eyeliner is just so unbelievable on Meg Ryan. And the last time Matthew Broderick was actually likable in a movie was Ladyhawk.
  11. The Pallbearer – We wish Schwimmer and Paltrow had been the ones inside the casket.
  12. 9 Months – Hugh Grant is a a psychiatrist, a medical doctor, who has no idea how the reproductive system works. Duh.
  13. Runaway Bride – Even though Pretty Woman (barely) made our top ten list of classic rom coms, Gere and Roberts were pushing it with that one. But in Runaway Bride they take it right over the edge of tolerability.
  14. What Women Want – We want movies that don’t insult our intelligence.
  15. License to Wed – When is Robin Williams just going to go away?
  16. Green Card – Starring Andie MacDullard and Gerard Depardon’t.
  17. Along Came Polly – There’s nothing more charming than Ben Stiller having explosive diarrhea on camera.
  18. Mickey Blue Eyes – This turned our brown eyes blue, it was so bad.
  19. Forces of Nature – Ben Affleck and Sandra Bullock have zero chemistry, which makes the fact that they don’t get together in the end totally believable.
  20. Joe vs. the Volcano – This movie marks the day Tom Hanks turned from a likable comedy actor (Splash, Bosom Buddies) into an annoyingly pretentious “artist.”
  21. Dr. T and the Women – Just because it’s an Altman film doesn’t mean we have to like it.
  22. Milk Money – Kids hire a hooker with a heart of gold and a head full of rocks (Melanie Griffith) to get their first sexual kicks and realize she’d be the perfect new wife for their widowed dad. Aw, sweet.
  23. Alex and Emma – When Luke Wilson tries to play anything other than a a stoner, a half-wit, or a small supporting character, it’s bad news.
  24. The Bachelor – How Chris O’Donnell was a sex symbol for five minutes (about the length of his movie career) is beyond us.
  25. A Guy Thing – Julia “Flat Affect” Stiles pretty much ruins whatever movie she’s in.
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16 Responses to “The Worst Rom Coms Ever”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Julia Stiles may not be the best actress in the world but 10 Things I Hate About You is one of my favorite teen rom-coms ever. Give her some credit.

  2. Epiphany Says:

    Oh, come on. Forgetting Sarah Marshall was not bad enough to warrant topping a worst romantic comedy list. I don’t think it even belongs on this list.

  3. MK Says:

    What’s with all the “Rom Com” posts? I miss the snarky sex columns :[

  4. Em & Lo Says:

    That’s the last rom com post, we promise, MK! We just splurged for V-Day week — but we guarantee lots of snarky sex columns from here on out…

  5. Wendell Says:

    Agreed on Elizabethtown. When I first “saw” it, it was a make-out session all the way through and not a lot of watching. Good association. Then I saw it again. Blech. The making out was still good, though.

  6. Adam Says:

    I really liked license to wed. I don’t know why everyone hates it so much. :-(

  7. Kristine Says:

    I have to say, I really enjoyed Forgetting Sarah Marshall too. And I’m almost a little ashamed by the fact that I’ve willingly watched it upwards of five times. :(

  8. Sahadat Amin Says:

    My friendship for any person.

  9. Rachel Says:

    I completely agree with Must Love Dogs and What Women Want (although seeing Mel Gibson in tights, makeup, and wax was hilarious). But The Mexican is one of my favorite romantic comedies! Really?!?! Ouch.

  10. naeem Says:

    I LOVE YOU Maha
    from
    Naeem.

  11. Sarah Says:

    I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall the same night I found out the same thing happened to me (“Mutual breakup” and finding out weeks later he had cheated). All of my friends turned to me with the “Oh god, she’s going to cry”-look. But I was dying laughing. I really don’t think it belongs on this list! :)

  12. Iyk Says:

    Considering the fact that you guys rely on satire for your posts i dont think you have any right to knock most of the movies on this list. Runaway bride is a classic, and, along with many of the movies on this list, much better contrived than your post.

  13. Madamoiselle L Says:

    I am proud to say I have not seen a single movie on this list. Save about 10 minutes of “Joe vs. the Volcano” during which I left the room where the video was playing and didn’t return.

    I can’t stand “rom-coms” The Man did want to see “The Ugly Truth” (I think that’s the name of it) and it was OK, but still you could predict exactly what was going to happen during the first 5 minutes of the movie.

  14. Slartibartfast Says:

    Thankfully, I’ve only seen a few of these horrors and all are from the last third of the list. Even so, they were like walking through a midden barefoot. To such an extent that my mind seems to have blotted them out and I’d nearly forgotten about them entirely. Until now. Thank you *so* much for resurrecting those disturbing memories of my wasted youth, Em and Lo.

  15. Slartibartfast Says:

    Please note that the preceding comment shouldn’t be taken to mean that I oppose rom coms in general. I lurve some of the finer examples of the genre. From “The Philadelphia Story” through “Midnight Cowboy” and right on to “Chasing Amy.”

  16. DKNY Says:

    Love Sarah Marshall, recognizing its bad I also love someone like you–it made me have a crush on Jackman who I had always thought was gross. For purposes of nostalgia I love joe v volcano and greencard…agree with all the rest except its sacrilege to put Xanadu on any worst list!


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