Your Call: How Can I Tell If He Wants More Than Sex?

photo by sinabeet

Dear Em & Lo,
I have a male friend whose company I enjoy very much (I’ve known him for about 3 months). He’s very much attracted to me (or he just wants sex) and we hang out when we can and talk on the phone almost everyday. We are both single at the moment and he’s tried several times to initiate sex and said on numerous occasions that he would like to sleep with me. I don’t believe in casual sex (feel free to judge). I am attracted to him and would have considered sex if I thought there was a possibility of a long-term relationship. At the moment I don’t see anything of the sort, even though he likes me, it seems to me like he is weighing his options. Since I am still single and find myself engaging his company more often, what should be my best course of action?
— Holding Out


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23 Comments on "Your Call: How Can I Tell If He Wants More Than Sex?"


anne
5 years 3 months ago

We as women tend to try and “fix” what a guy says to make it sound sweeter in ours ears. He is a grown man. He would have taken you out if he wanted to. But he wants sex. Just sex. If that’s okay with you then have at it. But Pls believe that “Just sex” guy rarely becomes “Boyfriend” guy. RUN, RUN QUICKLY!!!!!

5 years 3 months ago

sometimes in life we jus never what is going to happen. i met this guy a couple years ago and after dating for 6 months we started calling each other”boyfriend-girlfriend” i have met most of his friends and he has met mine.but in september of last year i got pregnant not much people knew.the thing is my mom said that i was 2 young for a baby….im 19yrs.january of 2010 i had and abortion because of all the stress.he wasnt for it and said my family and i are wicked people.he was as hurt as i was.we kept apart for 2 weeks and then he decided that we shold continue our relationship but the thing is i do not know if he made that decision 2 make me suffer for i did or if it is bcuz he loves me.how do i know?

Madamoiselle L
5 years 3 months ago

Some guy said: “God knows, women have that uncanny ability to bold face lie” This from a “guy” who is complaining about all the “man haters” on the board.(Whom I didn’t see.) Sure, just sum up all of femininity with one broad brush.

Sheesh.

Tambra
5 years 3 months ago

Well the main word is TALK!! He can’t guess what you want. But I dated a guy for 4yrs. Engaged at 11 months. Kept getting a answer that we would get married soon. Buy a house & be together & the rest of that kind of crap. I was very disappointed also. Dumb me had been by myself for 6yrs before him so I kept thinking maybe this will work. NOT!! He admitted in the end he had lied to stay with me & that he never wanted marriage. So talk to your guy. Like you we were also friend for a long time before getting engaged. Loving my life & over it NOW :)))

DAR
5 years 3 months ago

It’s really your call but, I once dated a guy for 8 months who did not make a move on me til then. (We are both in our 40’s.) Thought that I finally found a guy who respects me & where chivalry isn’t dead. Went out alot up to that point..then all he wanted after having sex was just watching movies and sex at his place. Never called me his Girlfriend, so I asked him. He said that he liked me for a Friend. That was the last time I saw him….Very Disappointed..Gave up after that.