Dear Dr. Kate,
I had a baby a few months ago — it was via cesarean — and I’ve noticed intercourse is now uncomfortable. I thought since I ended up having a planned cesarean I’d have less sexual problems postpartum, not more! Pre-kid, I never liked having my G-spot focused on, because it felt kind of painful — and this is the sensation I’m getting with just regular intercourse now. Could it be that 10 months of carrying a fetus around pushed my G-spot down a bit so now it’s getting in the way of intercourse? Or could it all be mental and/or hormonal — since I’m breastfeeding and never in the mood for sex and my libido is shot and my natural lubrication is pretty Sarahan…?
— Just Not That Into It
Discomfort during intercourse is never mental – pain is real. Breastfeeding definitely lowers your lubrication levels, so you’ll definitely want to stock up on the lube. And never getting more than a few hours of sleep in a row isn’t helping either. You’ve only got so much energy in the day, and after taking care of your little one and breastfeeding/pumping, it’s no wonder you aren’t aroused by your partner as you were before.
Knowing that most new moms go through this, though, may not make it any more fun. Good sex will take more effort than before, whether it’s getting a babysitter for a few hours and getting out to a hotel if need be to have some alone time, or letting your partner give a bottle of pumped milk at night to let you sleep more. And hang in there, things will improve eventually!
— Dr. Kate
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.