Other peopleâ€™s dreams are never interestingâ€¦except when theyâ€™re about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a reader asks Lauri:
I keep having these dreams that include sex, my best friend, her man, my man, and me. I’ve also had a similar dream about two other couples and my hubby and I joined in sex. It always starts with my hubby and I and the other couple on opposite sides of the bed and then I initiate everything that happens next. I tell the other girl to sit on my hubby’s face and tell her man to enter me while I am giving fellatio to my hubby. Then we all just keep switching positions, ending always with me in doggy and the other guy giving it. My hubby is with the other girl on her back, but legs up. I am and always will be heterosexual. I can’t understand why I keep having these erotic and explicit group sex dreams. Please tell me this all means something totally different than me just secretly in my subconscious wanting to have a four-(or more)-some.
Lauri: Okay, I willâ€¦ these DO mean something different than you secretly wanting a four-or more-some. The subconscious, dreaming mind speaks in a very strange language. It is not a literal language but rather a language of symbols and metaphors; it gives form to our inner most thoughts and feelings. That being said, in what way is your life like an orgy? Typically, orgy dreams are connected to waking life confusion and/or chaos. Is there too much going on in your life right now? Too many decisions to make? Are you having a hard time focusing on one thing at a time? Or is there so much going on that you and hubby arenâ€™t getting the one-on-one time you desire? Notice how you keep ordering people to switch positions. This could be a play on words. Have YOU been switching your position on something? Do you keep changing your mind?
It is significant that you never wind up with hubby at the end of your dreams, which is a good indication that in waking life, the two of you each have so much going on that you canâ€™t focus on each other. The dreams will keep happening until you carve out time in your crazy schedules for just each otherâ€¦ OR until you personally find a way to focus on one thing at a time. Whatever the case, you need a stress reliever. Trying out some of those crazy positions in your dream with hubby may be just what the doctor ordered!
Response from dreamer: OMG!!! All I can say is WoW! You hit the nail on the head. I have been soooo very stressed. I try to work out and relax but it doesn’t work. My hubby has taken on extra responsibilities at work so he’s stressed. All of this stress has not killed the bedroom though. That’s the only place we do connect and explore. Now we do have a communication block due to some issues in our past lives that we are trying to work through. We are now not seeing eye to eye on certain things where our kids are concerned. Would this have something to do with switching?
Lauri: Absolutely! Have you been changing your mind over and over again? Or are you trying to get hubby to switch his position on the matter? This would also be why you two are never together at the end of your dreams, you two havenâ€™t “come together” on this issue yet. Your inner mind wants you to. It sounds like you may be trying to run the whole show and not allowing hubby a say so. Does that sound like that may be right?
Dreamer: Yes. I would like him to change his mind. It just doesn’t seem like a fair decision. I’m not trying to run things but hubby wants me to step up and take the reins more at home and in the bedroom. He says I’m too soft spoken and not aggressive enough. I just don’t know where to begin.
Lauri: “…and tell her man to enter me”: This part of your dream is significant. The man represents your yang, your â€śmaleâ€ť qualities, the part of you that needs to â€śman upâ€ť and handle business. You want that male, assertive energy to enter you so you can be less â€śsoft spokenâ€ť and more aggressive as your husband says. Once you take even just one small step at being more assertive, your dreams will change or stopâ€¦ and youâ€™ll feel pretty empowered!