Wise Guys – What Do Men Think About Sex Toys in Bed?

photo by love janine

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: How do most guys feel when a woman brings her favorite sex toy into the bedroom? Threatened? Excited?

Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): Unless it’s three-pronged, the Jackhammer Jesus, or obscenely elephantine, I think it’s generally safe — educationally thrilling even — to introduce your vibrator into the bedroom. By appealing to his sense of ingenuity and boyhood exploratory spirit, any guy would be flushed with excitement by the opportunity to tinker with an entirely foreign, exotic gadget. Whether it’s fiddling with your Tivo or installing computer software updates, technology seems to bring the best out in men; they like to get things right. With the proper coaxing (Gee, I just can’t figure this thing out!), tinkering with your Rabbit Habit’s best configurations just might be the kind of dilemma you’d want your guy troubleshooting through an entire Saturday afternoon.

anonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): I don’t know how most guys feel, but whether it’s with toys, fingers, or ideas, I’ve felt very happy when a partner takes me into her confidence and shares what she likes in the bedroom. I like it when she “lends a hand” when we’re in a position where it’s hard for me to reach her. And when she enjoys the exhibitionism/voyeurism of getting off with me. Or when she just wants to add to what we’re doing. It’s nice even when she’s just never going to get off — or off often enough — from my efforts alone. I guess some of those reasons, especially the last, could be seen as threatening. A lot of the other reasons are just straight-up exciting. But they all mean she’s comfortable enough with me, and confident enough about her self, to show me what she likes. And that’s always going to make me happier than if she was too nervous or uncomfortable about it. If she’s comfortable enough to share her favorite toy? So much the better!

You know something I’ve always been too shy to try, though? Being the one to bring a new toy or vibrator into bed with a partner, even one I think she’d enjoy. If it’s okay for a Wise Guy to ask questions of his own, do you think it would be okay to do that instead? [Em & Lo: Ladies, respond in the comments section below, please!]

anonymous_suitStraight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys feel somewhere between threatened and excited. It’s adventurous, but also a little denigrating. It’s probably similar to how most girls would feel if a guy brought his favorite pornography to share in the bedroom: unwelcome competition, and too much information. (Imagine how you’d feel if a guy showed you a well-worn picture of a swimsuit model, and then with a conspiratorial smile taped it to the wall above the pillows before getting down to business?) A definite no-no for most couples in the first few months of dating. But for long-term and married couples, introducing your little best friend can help revive or spice things up, and even be a welcome relief for guys who aim to please their woman.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow, and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.


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40 Comments on "Wise Guys – What Do Men Think About Sex Toys in Bed?"


Fun Wife
2 years 3 months ago

My wife has been exploring and spicing up the bedroom with new toys. She just purchased a big 10 inch x 2 1/2 wide black vibrator. She likes to be stretched out.

Johnny
2 years 3 months ago

In the comments MMM states that Single Guy is wrong and men don’t feel threatened by a sex toy.
1) you are a woman, you cannot state a man’s perspective , just like men can’t state a woman’s.
2) your man does not represent every man in the world . He is just one guy . So what works for him won’t work for others.
3) As a man, I can say YES, a man can be offended or threatened by a dildo. I’d compare it a skinny small boobed and small butt woman asked by her man if he can watch busty busty women porn while they make love.

Ladies , if you want to introduce a dildo into the bedroom. Make sure you do it right and do it with a bit of caution. Sorry but Hollywood and Rocky Balboa were wrong, men actually do have feelings and think about what women do.

Men, lots of women have trouble getting off. So if she wants to bring a sex you, consider it a favor that she’s most definitely thank you for. I mean, what if you had a hard time getting off and needed a little extra help?
However, if she looks at you and says “you’re too small for me and I need a big one” , you should have no problem slamming the door on her face and leaving her on the street. We men are proud creatures that won’t tolerate that kind of insult.

joe
2 years 9 months ago

You asked if I’d feel threatened or excited. I have a small dick, 4-4.5″ long so needless to say I’d feel threatened!

Lizzrrd
2 years 9 months ago

Figleaf,

I had a guy do that last year for the first time. I’m 42. It was weird because he just whipped it out and Ithought ,” Ewww. Where has that thing been?” BUT if he would have asked how I feel about toys I would say, “‘ I love them.” and go shopping for a new unused one.

Patricia Vynchester
4 years 2 months ago

My man doesn’t care what I look like, heck he hardly really pays much attention when I dress up nice with make-up on and hair done. He doens’t care about that type of stuff at all. He likes when I do cook for him… At least I gained some points with my cooking and oral sex, because since I read Jacks Blowjob Guide ( http://www.howtogiveablowjobtips.net ) I’m pro 😉 He will always despise my movie tastes as long as it includes a “chick flick” but for the most part we can agree on movies to watch…