Em & Lo's RSS Feed Em & Lo's Daily Email Feed Be Our Facebook Friend! Follow Us on Twitter!

Wise Guys – Why Aren’t Some Men Up for Going Down?

Tue, Mar 16, 2010

Advice, Wise Guys

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Why do guys seem to dislike giving oral sex more than woman seem to dislike giving it?

jon_rossGay Married Guy (Jon Ross): I’ve met a bunch of straight men and woman who dislike the pastime, which is a bit of a mystery to me — most gays just love the activity! One in my position can only speculate, but I wonder if it’s a fear of “the other” that has some people so squeamish. Sure, everyone loves sex, but some just want to keep to keep everything perfectly aligned, mouth to mouth, genitalia to genitalia. I bet the people who shy away from oral sex are just unfamiliar with how everything works down there or fear they’ll get a mouthful of a bodily fluid.

chris_diclericoStraight Single Guy (Chris): I hate to disappoint you, but we don’t all dislike giving oral. I’m not fishing for dates here, but I personally love giving as much as receiving. I promise I can have that verified for you. I think many guys are just too anxious to get to sex. I suppose I was too when I was younger. Now that I’m a little older, I’m much more interested in leaving a good impression. My recovery time isn’t the same as it once was either, so I guess I’m compensating somewhat, but I remember always being pretty into it. I don’t know if there’s a secret. Ladies, keep things nice and trim down there: consider going with a complete “no spin zone” or maybe even a vajazzling to try to drum up some interest. (He should do be willing to do the same for you.) And speaking of reciprocation, remember the golden rule: if you give good head then hopefully you’ll get good head in return. I guess the only other advice I can give if you’re still having trouble is that you can find me on Facebook pretty easily…

Straight Married Guy (Mike): Who said that men dislike giving oral sex? Nothing is more arousing than the smell of a woman. So, just for selfish reasons, oral is a great way to start. However, there are obviously men who are repelled by the idea and women who are self-conscious, but it’s nothing that a little personal hygiene won’t cure. As for women, there seems to be much more pressure and expectation to expertly perform orally — the blowjob is a fixture of porn and is practically de rigueur. I wonder how many women really enjoy being a service provider?¬† With either, a little communication would go a long way: as exciting as oral sex can be, there’s also nothing worse than when it is half-hearted.

Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross of Boerum Hill Blog. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

, ,


63 Responses to “Wise Guys – Why Aren’t Some Men Up for Going Down?”

  1. me2011 Says:

    i love the smell of balls, penis, a mans body hmm. i love a man to have lot of hair, especially down there he musnt shave! I know some men who do.i love to be nice and smooth for my man. i love dressing up for my man. as long as its clean down there ill suck him, and sometims it turns me on more when im giving him as much pleasure as possible, becuase it turns me on when hes turned on. i suppose im a giver. i have a fetish for my man to have their clothes on during sex, and for us to have quickies! i always suck him then go on top of him and have sex lol the best way for me to enjoy and get pleasure, and he seems happy too ;’)

  2. A. Says:

    I’d rather a man not have hair down there. With that said, I love to give blowjobs. Though I won’t say it, I want the reciprocation and I want him to enjoy it, not act like it’s a duty. “Just think of England” guys are a profound turn off.

  3. Sylvia Says:

    I think there is a large percentage of men who enjoy giving oral sex to women, but there are those who are opposed to it. I think these men are hesitant because of thier lack of knowledge of the genitalia. I often notice the guys who like to go downtown tend to be more experienced and better in bed. So ladies don’t feel bad and think it’s you, most likely case scenario is they are frightened they won’t be good at it and don’t take criticism well.

  4. yellla mariee Says:

    I love my boyfriend very much and the sex is wonderful but I hate the fact that I give him oral sex allllll the time and I can’t get it in return. I tried talking to him about it but he says its not his thing, what should I do?

  5. mrj Says:


    Don’t give him head anymore.

  6. cherryT Says:

    If they don’t do it to you.don’t do it to them.

  7. eliza Says:

    My man and I have been together for 3 years. At first we had sex often..2/wk.. at most. Now.. we maybe have sex once a month if Im lucky. The problem is I dont get off during quickies which is all he provides. He has gone down on me a couple times but I have to literally beg him to. He watches lots of porn and looks at beautiful blond perfect fake woman on his phone and computer all the time. Im not ugly but Im no porn super model. So obviously this bothers me a bit. He says its not me and that he still thinks Im beautiful but still does not initiate anything. Everytime I try something always comes up or I dont have the time cause I have a 4 yr old. What is going on with him?

  8. Jenny Says:


    There seems to be something wrong even in the beginning, 2/wk ??? At first it’s typically 2/day, and if you have a 4 yr old than I am assuming your still in prime sexual peak, so decreasing down to once a month is just weird. I would guess your guy is fantasizing and jacking off with his porn addiction. YES ADDICTION, and you are not doing it for him, no normal women could. Better rethink your relationship

  9. blondie2468 Says:

    I am a gal who use to love giving my man as many favors as HE could take. And then later on I would get my treat in return. But as I have gotten a tad older, im not so ampted all the time to do it, and my current boyfriend isnt a very big giver what-so-ever. This is what I did. I talked to him. Told him how I felt. And it took a little time, but he loosened up and now he’ll go downtown but not nearly as much as I would personally like and now that im pregnant I dont like to give at all. So I choose my battles now…

  10. 64 and shrinking Says:

    Before my first piece of tail I was told an old adage. If it looks good,feels good, tastes good then the chances are it is good to go there.
    So going down is always a part of foreplay. To the people who don’t want too go down you don’t know what you are missing. A good healthy pussy is so sweet and you know she is enjoying it when she pushes your face harder into herself. I have even got caught after my first climactic burst going for seconds and getting fresh blood, to find myself in the first day of a period. So loosen up and enjoy the perfumed garden.

  11. John Says:

    Sorry ladies, I cannot stand it. I think it’s utterly disgusting, I can’t explain why. To me it’s like a food, you either like it or you don’t. I love receiving a blow job and practically vomit at the thought of going down on a woman.

  12. james Says:

    to be honest i don’t know whats wrong with me but i can’t do it without feeling nauseous and if i keep it up i just start dry reaching. my wife is really understanding thank god. we’ve talked about it and there was a couple of times where i persisted only to puke which killed it. i love my wife so much and i just want to please her. she goes down on me but now i don’t want her to do that because i can’t do the same. there’s nothing wrong with her and i feel so inadequate. I’ve considered seeing a shrink although i’ll probably talk to my doctor first.

  13. Domenique Paris Says:

    My boyfriend hasn’t given me oral sex in almost a year. It is upsetting and insulting because giving him oral sex is always constant. Plus, I enjoy doing it. I have discussed this with him numerous times. Almost three months ago I expressed to him how dissatisfied I was sexually because it’s very unfair. It makes me feel very unwanted. He promised to do better and still not once has he. He had done it a few times throughout our 4 year relationship. And now it has been over a year. I don’t know what to do. All it does is upset me and me desire more. What do I do if he’s not caring about my needs?

Leave a Reply