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Your Call – How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?

Tue, Mar 2, 2010

Advice, Dear Em & Lo, Your Call

photo by (nutmeg)

Dear Em & Lo,

I’m a 26-year-old virgin and, while I’m not waiting for marriage, I am waiting for the right guy. You know, that guy that won’t pressure me for sex because it’s the 3rd date or break up with me after 3 months because I’m not ready. And yes, both of those situations have happened, on more than one occasion. As I get older, it seems more impossible to find a guy that will wait for sex. I want someone to respect me and make me feel safe enough to want to share that with him, because if a guy can treat me like crap after a nice evening where I cooked dinner and he didn’t get any, then imagine how much worse I would have felt had I given in and slept with him.

So, I guess my questions are: are there guys out there that will wait and respect me, how long is too long for him to wait, and what do guys think about a girl making them hold out for sex? I have male friends that respect me for waiting but, guys I date — that’s something else.

– The 26-Year-Old Virgin

What do you think the 26 Y.O.V. should do? Let her know in the comments below:

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253 Responses to “Your Call – How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?”

  1. Michael Says:

    It really depends on whether the guy you’re with shares similar view or is at least understanding. If a guy was serious about you (as in committed to pursuing a relationship with the intent of one day becoming married and thus spending the rest of his life with you) I can’t see why he’d have any trouble waiting.

    I happen to be a guy who is also waiting for the right girl. I’ve had plenty of opportunities but I turned them down every time both out of respect to whomever I end up with and in the hope that this girl will have extended me the same courtesy. In all honesty I wish more girls were like you but in any case don’t be too concerned about making a guy wait. You don’t owe him anything but honesty :)

  2. N Says:

    I think it’s good in a way because you find out who really cares about you for you and isn’t trying to get something from you – maybe say it straight up, or on your profile if you do the online dating thing? fuck shaving your legs for heartbreakers!

  3. Twinkle Says:

    There are lots of guys who will wait. I’m ur age of 26, and am dating a very attractive guy now for the past 4 months and he’s been willing to go w/o sex cos I’m not ready. So far most of the guys I’ve dated are fine with my decision to abstain. It’s pretty tough for us ladies who don’t wanna have sex though, when guys we like are kissing us and we wanna go further too…lol


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