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Your Call – How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?

Tue, Mar 2, 2010

Advice, Dear Em & Lo, Your Call

photo by (nutmeg)

Dear Em & Lo,

I’m a 26-year-old virgin and, while I’m not waiting for marriage, I am waiting for the right guy. You know, that guy that won’t pressure me for sex because it’s the 3rd date or break up with me after 3 months because I’m not ready. And yes, both of those situations have happened, on more than one occasion. As I get older, it seems more impossible to find a guy that will wait for sex. I want someone to respect me and make me feel safe enough to want to share that with him, because if a guy can treat me like crap after a nice evening where I cooked dinner and he didn’t get any, then imagine how much worse I would have felt had I given in and slept with him.

So, I guess my questions are: are there guys out there that will wait and respect me, how long is too long for him to wait, and what do guys think about a girl making them hold out for sex? I have male friends that respect me for waiting but, guys I date — that’s something else.

– The 26-Year-Old Virgin

What do you think the 26 Y.O.V. should do? Let her know in the comments below:

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253 Responses to “Your Call – How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?”

  1. nick Says:

    it’s not something you can schedule. each guy will wait their own amount of time. and each relationship takes it’s own time. have sex when you are ready.

    as a guy who’s looking for a long term relationship myself. I would still have to say that after enough time with out sex i would move on. not because I’m only interested in sex, but because, after a long enough wait, if she’s still not ready, then it shows an incompatibility.

    also.. LOVED the comment “man are not just women with penises” very true.

  2. c Says:

    The right guy should understand your desire to feel comfortable and ready to have sex with him. If you have a real connection it shouldn’t be a big deal. There shouldn’t be a time limit. A time limit for any man would just mean that he too just cares about having sex rather than about you. I really hope there are guys out there that will wait and are respectful. (I too haven’t had sex yet and am worried about finding a guy who’s good enough to understand that It’ll take me a little time to feel ready.)

  3. Allen Says:

    Cally,

    It sounds like you have some of the same hang-ups. What’s with all the fear?

    I suppose I should have been more precise–no guy who HAS ALREADY HAD SEX is going to wait around for someone for longer than a year or so. Sex is a huge part of a relationship, and it only sows resentment to use it as a weapon. The line “I’m not having sex until I’m married” draws a totally arbitrary distinction between one moment and the next. And I know several marriages that came about because of that ultimatum, and fell apart within two years.

    Guys and girls get different things from a relationship, and they want different things from a relationship. What if a guy was like “I’m not going to be compassionate, or let you unload your stress to me at the end of the day, or take you out to dinner, or talk on the phone for more than twenty minutes, until we’re married.” What kind of sense would that make?

    I should have also been more precise when I said “give that part of her to me” — I didn’t mean a first-timer. I meant a girl that’s just using sex as a way to get something she wants. That’s a deal-breaker.

    You’re going to be with this person your entire life. You might as well get the messy stuff out of the way so you can see whether you actually like the person without all the pressure some people put on sex.

    Funny that you took my comments personally, Cally. That speaks volumes about which of your insecurities are at play here. Plus you just resorted to name-calling, another tactic born less of merit than of emotion.

    Then, to close your diatribe, you offered this richly ironic comment, “We are not here to pass judgement on others’ choices or to make everyone conform to our idea of what life should be like.”

    Isn’t that what you just tried to do?

    Look, you’re not ready, cool. That’s too bad. You’re missing out.

  4. SS Says:

    I was all set to reply to Cally when Allen’s comment popped up…glad to see some further comments. I was thinking that Cally’s comments were so angry that Allen must have touched a nerve somewhere, and also noted the huge amount of fear that is present in what she says (fear of pain, fear of intimacy.) And while I think Cally would be a good person to go to if you were looking for a virgin’s take on a relationship, a person who hasn’t yet had sex is probably not the most reliable source when looking for advice on how sex does or does not affect a relationship. Cally, two thoughts: Your first time probably won’t be that great, but it doesn’t hurt that much, either. As with most things, it will get better with time. Secondly, sex is, despite what you believe at this point, a huge part of a relationship…it is what separates friends from lovers. And before you jump down my throat, I’m sure you and your boyfriend consider yourselves to be lovers, and are in love with each other, but for a lot (most?) people, a relationship without sex is like (as a college friend of mine once said) trying to drink a beer with the cap on.

  5. John Says:

    I agree entirely with Nick, above. If you’ve been with someone (long-distance aside) for over three months, you know whether it’s long-term or just a fling.

    Sex is great, and quite a lot of fun, but consider this:

    If sex is an integral-can’t-do-without-it thing, what if the other person were hurt, and no longer capable? Would you want to tie your love of your spouse/boyfriend to how good they were in bed?

    Bad sex has never (for any relationship I know of) been a deal breaker. Most ‘bad sex’ is either poor communication (relaonship death, sex or no) or an excuse to practice more. (Assuming that the relationship is more than a fling.)

    Sex can also be a carnal band-aid for a broken relationship, and lead to more pain in the eventual break-up. Don’t rush it, or let yourself be rushed. The right guy will be willing to wait until you are ready. (I was, for what it’s worth.)

  6. aihsieka Says:

    I’m a mother of 6. I’m proud that you have waited to lose your virginity just like I’m proud that my 3 daughters have chosen to wait as well they are between 19-23. When that day comes or that particular moment you will sense that this is the right time for you & your partner. Its like getting on a plane for the first time, you are scared at first. You like it, then you start flying more frequently.:)

  7. Victoria Garcia Says:

    I have a couple of friends who are also virgins in their twenties. Not only do I admire their perseverance in maintaining their virginity, I am also painfully aware of the awkward situations this can present.

    It is important to be up front with a guy you are seriously considering dating. If he doesn’t know you’re a virgin up front, I PROMISE it WILL be awkward later down the road. Honesty is definitely the best policy in this situation (or in most relationship situations for that matter).

    If the dude is right, he won’t care, and he’ll probably have no problem waiting.

  8. becca Says:

    damn i am impressed keep it up i am 17 and have 2 kids

  9. bluecats Says:

    Becca:

    There actually is an option that exists somewhere between “don’t have sex” and “get pregnant twice before age 18.”

    It’s called birth control. If you’re having sex, it’s your right and your responsibility to decide how you’re going to not get pregnant and avoid chances of getting STDs.

    Clearly, your previous approaches, whatever they were, did not work. Go to a doctor, get some birth control, and take control of your life and body.

  10. Lovereaction Says:

    what the fuck is it with americans and the waiting for sex thing?

    Proud of beeing a virgin at the age of 26/30???

    Come on, you women are just fooling yourselves. Or you are just in closet lesbians.

    Get it over with. It os not really a big deal, it is not gold between our legs.

  11. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Quote of the week, maybe? “Get it over with. It os not really a big deal, it is not gold between our legs.” Hahahahaa. I have to agree. Ladies, access to your vagina is not like a ticket to the Holy of Holies….

    OMG, I didn’t mean that as a double entendra. hee hee hee hee

  12. Confident Lady Says:

    Lovereaction: Your comment gives me the impression that you’d give it up to any guy that glances at you. Wouldn’t want to have access to any womans vagina that doesn’t give some value/respect in sharing that part of herself. Same to you Madamoiselle. I believe in respecting every individuals choice to live their life. It’s very wrong to insult these women for their beliefs. Just because you feel you could never have the will power to stay a virgin doesn’t mean other people can’t. Patience is a “virtue”.:)There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait if that is what is right for you.

  13. t.m. Says:

    Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

  14. Madamoiselle L Says:

    t.m. the whole “milk for free, farmer pay” thing reduces sex to a commodity, which makes it seem as if sex is something women “give” or “trade” with men for other commodities. In reality, BOTH partners are supposed to get pleasure from sex, and in healthy people, it is never a commodity.

    Are you really wiling to reduce your sexuality to nothing more than a tradable commodity?

    “Confident” you don’t get it. It doesn’t mean “anybody” gets to have sex with one, just that so many of the posts were of the “my virginity is a such huge deal and a HUGE gift (commodity) which will only go to the highest bidder.” Most men and many many women just don’t see it that way. Men don’t view a woman’s “virginity” in the Holy Light that a very few women place it in.

    YOUR “impression” was wrong. I think the comment Love reaction posted, and I was amused by meant, “Honey, your “virgin” booty ain’t all that. NOBODY’S is.” That’s all.

    And, you know, people have tried the underhanded “calling Sexually Positive women whores” tactic before, (which is what your attempt was, right?) but they don’t usually last long on a Sex Positive web site. Good luck with that here. :)

  15. dayah Says:

    everyone giving their own opinion but these matter…seems like its all up to your mind..i believe if you do feel connected with your partner…you definately wont felt hesitate to share yourself…
    so…im wishing u to found ur right guy soon..

  16. weregoat Says:

    ok so i’m not gonna take sides here. i figured i’d be like this lady here, waiting into my 20′s before even considering sex. but you know, when someone you trust, someone you feel like you could have sex with comes along, you almost can’t help yourself lol. yes, i lost my virginity when i was 19 to a guy who i wasn’t (and i’m still not) dating, but we were good friends beforehand anyway and i trusted him. does that make me a whore? i don’t think so. sex is a very personal choice. i thought a long time before committing to a decision, in fact, i didn’t commit to my decision right up until the last possible second. but i don’t regret it and that’s the important thing.
    sorry for rambling. i guess what i’m trying to say is… don’t listen to us. do what you think is right. yes, advice is always good, but everyone is different.
    good luck :)

  17. Ken Says:

    Speaking as a guy…yeah you’re right.Wait. All you will lose is time and we all have a lifetime supply of that. Good Luck!

  18. comett Says:

    Its your choices,However keep in mind your 26 year old “don’t knock it until you try it”.
    Asked yourself, Do you want to try? If the fruits look good don’t you want to tasted to see weather its sweet or sour.
    If Mr.Right come along I don’t thinks he care less if your virgin or not,but how you coexist with him on this life journey.
    Life is not perfect, on for going life is full of trail and era.

  19. marisa Says:

    you can make a guy wait for a very long time, we have the power over sex. i didn’t lose my virginity until i was 19. i wasn’t waiting for marriage but i was trying to find the right guy. my pass boyfriends hated the idea that i didn’t want to have sex. i was not ready and most of all they were not the ones for me.

    it did hurt my relationships, guys have urges and they want them to be pleased

  20. Lovereaction Says:

    #Lovereaction: Your comment gives me the impression that you’d give it up to any guy that glances at you

    And you will only have sex with the man that waitet long enough for you?

    While you could used the time to have wild crazy hot sex insted. it is just braindead, honey.

  21. JC Says:

    I waited up to 2 yrs for one and there was another that give in after a month… so I guess its depends on the girl

  22. Johnny Says:

    I’ve observed the following scenario several times:

    Virgin waits. Virgin meets great guy. Virgin continues to wait. Great guy waits right along with her. And waits and waits.

    She’s been guarding her virginity for so long that she just can’t bring herself to give it up, even under ideal circumstances. Great guy eventually decides virgin has sexual hang-ups he doens’t want to deal with. He ends the relationship.

    Virgin thinks, “damn, I had it all in him! Great Guy loved me, respected me, waited patiently… What am I waiting for, if not a situation like that?”

    Virgin resents herself for losing great guy to irrational prudishness. Virgin then gives it up to the next asshole who comes along. And just like that, she blew an ideal scenario for exactly the one she was trying to avoid.

    Anyone else see – or experience – this situation?

  23. Madamoiselle L Says:

    When people use terms like “she gave in” it pisses me off. Does it occur to them that most women LIKE sex? This, like the entire “farmer won’t buy a cow if he can get the milk for free” bullshit is assuming sex is something women don’t LIKE and only do to get men to do other things for them. Again, a Commodity.

    Having sex with an other person is a communion with that person, it’s a shared experience, a mutual good.

    It is NOT and never should be something women “give” and men “take.” The entire double standard of this idea is one of the reasons TOO many women decide “virginity” is like to valued like some rare prize, to be sold at auction, to the highest bidder, to get HER something she wants OTHER than sex.

    Having sex should be about two people who care enough to please each other physically and emotionally. (And sometimes spiritually.) It isn’t about an exchange of “goods.” With the exception of prostitution, then it’s a different story. But, in that case, the woman at least ADMITS she isn’t doing it for her own pleasure, but only “Giving in” to get things she wants for herself. She’s honest. Someone playing games with a man’s mind and body, for the SAME REASON is often being disingenuous.

    Sex, when done properly, is two people caring for each other and pleasing each other. NOT one person “giving in” or “being worn down” or “giving it up.” BOTH should be enjoying it. And you have NO IDEA how enjoyable it can be until you allow yourself the pleasure to share such a thing with an other person.

  24. Madamoiselle L Says:

    marisa said: “we have the power over sex
    …guys have urges and they want them to be pleased” END QUOTE

    You are implying YOU have or had NO urges? And that the waiting game was a Power Play? I don’t get it.

    I really, honestly hope that you, and others have found that sex is about SHARING, now power or ONE person wanting and the other seeing how long they can make the other person “wait.”

    Maybe I misinterpreted you, but the whole “power” thing struck me as kind of mean. To men.

  25. Lovereaction Says:

    I am actuallly just sad over those waitingwomen that just see life go by.

  26. guyman Says:

    Okay so I’m dating a virgin that will just not give it up, and she’s telling me ” oh baby we have our whole lives together, it’ll will happen eventually” but we not even married or anything like that. Should I just give up?

  27. guyman Says:

    And I’m in love with this girll so what should I do?! Cmon peopleee

  28. SS Says:

    @guyman: how old is she? The answer would probably differ depending on whether she’s 18 or 28…
    Also, see @johnny…that could be you!

  29. Lovereaction Says:

    To guyman: I woulde have given up the moment a man said that to me. Enough is enough of garbage.

    She uses sex to trick you, that is not mature.

  30. tom Says:

    Virgins and proud of it after 25 are a great example of Darwinism. It’s great, the simpletons are left out of the gene pool for the betterment of the rest o the human race. The main problem with waiting for Mr right is that women don’t actually know what they want. After years of dumping Mr Ok panic and go for Mr I promise to stay now that you’re knocked up.

  31. ifdaben Says:

    you ladys that are virgins at 25-30 whteva lol, you are all in great danger of a conditon called “vaginascabsover syndrome” loool

  32. MissK Says:

    i think that when you are comfortable with some one. it will be ok…

    there are plenty of logical reasons to wait really, doesn’t mean you have to and there are ways of trying to control it i suppose… you know..disease, pregnancy. do you want to end up with a broken family for your child? and i know that doesnt always happen…but it can.

    I do agree with the it’s a sharing thing. Some people only want to share that with one person. Which is sortof romantic.

    Personally…I dont want my husband to have slept with any one else…

    But if your not waiting ’til marriage. If you’re great friends and hang out and do love eachother…maybe just head in that direction and if your not comfortable with it tell him. =) if you are.. keep working on it til you get there. =) Of course sex is a good thing, but as with most good things there are some boundaries that keep them good. Which are mostly up to you.

  33. Believe it Says:

    Believe it or not. I am a 34 year old virgin. My mother had “the talk” with me and my 2 sisters when I was about 13. I had a brief situation in high school with a guy and then PROMISED God that if I got out of it a virgin I would wait until I was married. Obviously I got out of that situation in tact. I am pretty attractive and approached by guys all the time. I look at it like this…I can choose to lose my virginity any day of the week. But I am a precious gift and so is it. I CHOOSE to wait until I am married. I am dating a very special guy. He flipped when he found out. I told him on our 3rd date that I would not be having sex with him. Then about a month later I told him I was a virgin. that is when he flipped. He was so surprised. No sex? No kind? never? Nope! And guess what sisters? I am still with him and he is so respectful. We are now considering marriage. When you are ready – you will know. Don’t make a move until then. It is not all about the other party – it is about following your heart.

  34. brian Says:

    I am 36 years old and I have decided that I want to wait until I am married ( if that happens) before I become sexually involved with a woman. I had a sexual relationship many years ago because I thought that she was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. (I was 23 years old the first time I had sex.) After she cheated on me and left me for the other guy, I was devastated because I gave the most intimate part of myself to someone who ditched me. Unfortunately, several years after that, I ended up having a one night stand with a woman I met at a bar. I can’t even begin to describe the emotional damage I did to her and I felt so horrible inside for shattering her emotionally. After that, I decided that I will not have sex with anyone unless I marry her. I will be honest though, the urges can become very strong at times. Sadly, I can not find a woman who is also willing to love me enough and respect my boundaries to wait until marriage. I commend you for desiring to wait for the right man and the best guarantee for that is to marry him before you become sexually involved with him. If he truly loves you, he WILL wait, even until marriage.

  35. kirsten Says:

    I dont blame you for not giving it up. But it is your choice. I did give into the temptation, but it was the best choice I made. My boyfriend and I have lasted, its not what are relationship is all about, and we have talked so many times about continuing our relationship and getting married and whatever else. It just depends on when you are willing to do it, and when you are really comfterable with it. But i don know that I was glad i wated, for a little while at least.

  36. olax Says:

    This watin thing is a very big nonsense cos if you know you wont eat something there is no point cookin it, wait till d time u are hungry nd ready to eat. Since u wont have sex for now, its better you wait till you are ready nd be with the guy dt u feel can wait for you. I think some women are just selfish nd mean, if it was a woman dt have had sex before nd likes doin it, nd she meets a guy dt says no nd that its going to take sometime or sth am pretty sure that woman will cheat or end d relationship. We cn see dt d so call double standard is more with woman nt man, btw , why must it alwayz be abt women not ready, its jsut too stupid nd absurd nd irrational. I have seen cople of situation where d guy does nt give enuff sex nd d woman ends up cheating on her, wat if dt kind of guy had said no sex until after he wants it. so it means d woman will be cheating on him like hell???!! plus candidly why d hell will a woman judge a man dt cos he cnt wait till when she wants then it makes him nt 2 be a good guy or sth. We all know sex drive is different in different ppl nd maybe dt guy could be d type with really high libido nd culd nt stay for long time without sex, so wat does d virgin girl expects him 2 do , to sbjecct himself to such a bad torture cos he wants 2 be with her even though he has a crazily burning sex urge. I feel nd think d best thing is this situation is dt its 50/50, since d girl has decided nt 2 hv sex wit d guy until sometimes dt she decides , then d guy might rightfully as well decide dt he could nt be in a relationship without sex.
    Plus if u say if d guy loves her she will stay dts kind of bulls hit, cos d guy can as well say if the girl loves him she will give it 2 him without having him 2 wait till she feels like, its selfishness from a girl side i think.

  37. Livefastdiebeautiful Says:

    Sorry hun, but saving your virginity because you promised ‘God’ is a silly idea.
    I guarantee you will get closer to heaven in the bedroom than you ever will in death. I mean I wake up nearly every morning with an erection, is that not ‘God’ tellling us to go do our thing? SEX IS GREAT, no one says, ‘oh I don’t read because i’m waiting for the perfect book’ because that would be silly. go get laid!

  38. Lovereaction Says:

    I think that all these wonderful gusy/girls that promises virigns to wait for them is having sex somewhere else…

    That is why they can afford to wait for your “gift”.

  39. Johnny Says:

    @Brian- classic case of male ego.

    That girl you did horrible emotional damage to? Trust me – you’re overestimating your sway over her. It’s possible that she was way fucked up before you got to her. But barring that, I guarantee she moved right on and is fine now. Trust me.

    Men always like to think, “Oh god, what will she do without me! She’ll probably kill herself!” But that’s our egos talking. Women are the more emotionally resilient gender.

  40. Johnny Says:

    Also @ brian, re: Girl who broke your heart

    Brian, dude – you are painfully mistaken if you think a woman can’t pull the exact same thing once you marry her. Looking to marriage as a security blanket is a terrible idea. It guarantees nothing – not sex, not fidelity, nada.

    Experience is the only thing that can protect you from shitty partners. That’s the tragedy of all these “wait” types – they often wait only to wind up with the wrong person, because they lack the experience to make an informed decision.

    You are a prisoner to your sexual past. The girl who broke your heart, the girl who you’re so convinced you scarred for life by sleeping with her once… Come on dude. Grow a pair and move on with your life. Best advice anyone’s going to give you.

  41. Madamoiselle L Says:

    Johnny said: “Experience is the only thing that can protect you from shitty partners.” (Damn right!)

    He also says: “That’s the tragedy of all these “wait” types – they often wait only to wind up with the wrong person, because they lack the experience to make an informed decision.” END QUOTE

    It’s like buying a car without a test drive, or a moving into a house without a couple of walk throughs and looking at other things on the market and having a good House Inspection. You won’t know “the right one” if you have no idea what “right” is. “Right” comes from experience.

    You can see the writing on the wall, my brother! The man has good sense. Good job, Johnny.

  42. ReadingSigns Says:

    I’m in the same type of situation. I’m waiting for my girl to say its time. We’ve been going out for over three months. But, part of me whats to move on–just because the longer she waits the more doubt I have in this relationship. Is it because she doesn’t TRUST ME, or is she having sex with someone else, or even seeing someone else and being selective. For a guy, for me, when a girl says I love you and even having sex with you — it means she loves you enough and trust you. This is me personally… Let say 9 months down or even a year into the relationship, she still haven’t indicated when, then I’m moving on. My take is you shouldn’t drag the guy on. If you are waiting after marriage–say so. If you aren’t then you need to let him know from time to time that you are very much into him. That way he knows. But after 9 months, guys will start to have wondering eyes even finding someone else.

  43. Lovereaction Says:

    Move on now if you do not want the year 2010 to end sexless.

  44. scott Says:

    You have all my respect. You are very much a credit to your gender. I truly believe that your life will be much richer and full of light, than those who may put you down. As for me, I would lift you up to the stars, and put a crown on your head, and I would stay on my post and protect you from any bad that may come your way, for always.

  45. Cherry Says:

    Hello,

    Do not pay attention to anyone else but your self ,in the end that all that matters. I am a 20 yr old tainted virgin meaning that I’ve had oral sex and that’s it. I am waiting for another that I can trust but until then I am filling my life in other areas. Please enjoy life and don’t worry so much about your v status, it’ll happen when it is supposed to. :) Best of luck Cherry

  46. Madamoiselle L Says:

    “tainted?”

    Really?

  47. Byron La Contiere Says:

    Wow, I think it’s cool you’re taking your time. I met my wife when she was 19 and she was a virgin. I was 28 and had of course been with other women – starting at 14.

    She wanted to wait it out till marriage. I didn’t try to pressure, manipulate or cajole her for sex at all. I honored her wishes.

    We got married 4 years later, and the first time we made love to each other, she looked me in the eyes and said that she waited because she wanted to give her husband something that she could only give to one person.

    That was 8 years ago. We remain happily married, and our bond is stronger than ever. I appreciate her beyond imagination because she always made me feel like I was special enough to be the one to share that part of herself with.

    She appreciates me because I saw enough in her to be willing to not only wait, but to be faithful in the process. So, in many ways, I truly feel like our marriage is really special.

    So, you’re obviously holding on for your own reasons. Follow what you want to do versus what others are telling you that you should do. Honor what you feel; you’ll know when it’s right for you!

    All the best to everyone!

  48. c.s. Says:

    em & lo
    you have the right to say NO all the time. Also yes there are decent men out there that would wait for a girl or lady that doesn’t want to have sex even before marriage. Have you gone to church?
    I know this is just an example but there are men of all walks of life, but you will find that are not gentlemen and you will find men that will respect you wishes . they may feel the same way.
    Never do anything you don’t feel like doing anything you , don’t want to do.
    ladies have that right always!!!

  49. nithi Says:

    its something like attraction guys are really cant control himself when he is with a girl alone and even in dating so if a person really said am not so fast am damn sure he is lie…its all complicated issues that when a person having a courage to wait for those stuffs…am sure that he had many experience with those things…its like v hesitate sweets when v took so much before that..so its all nature but still 2 among 100 male are there for u…but its hard to find..am telling this bcoz am a guy…

  50. Kelly B. Says:

    I am 18. I lost my virginity when I just turned 15. I was drunk.
    This mistakes was the first of many. Many, many, MANY. Almost all of which, I regret.
    I think after awhile, a girl can harden herself. When the guy didn’t want me afterwards, I would just be like,”Hahaha I got what I wanted anyway. Who cares.” I began to think guys could only provide me decent 4 out of 10 sex, and drugs. That’s all.

    But now, after my last huge mistake 3 months ago, I promise myself I am remaining abstinent and waiting for someone special.
    There’s a guy I really like who lives a couple hours away. We dated before and have not had sex or anything close to it.

    This time around (if our connection proves to be more than friends) I am making him wait awhile. So I can be sure our mental and emotional relationship is tip top.

    And I know it will be amazing then. A life changing experience.

    But one problem I see girl..are you so set against having sex, that when the right guy comes will you continue to be closed off and say no?

    Just food for thought. :]
    Thanks so much for reading guys. I feel a bit better getting these things off my chest.


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